Jeff and Sue: Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol

Jeff – Friday, October 23, 2009

Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol

The pace was a bit slower today, but we needed to finish the final document package…

Our first task of the day was acquiring a gift. Nastiya’s brother does not have a phone. We have decided to provide him with one so that he can keep in touch with Nastiya. The cell phones work differently in Ukraine: you do not buy a monthly plan. It’s a pay as you go plan. You buy a phone, and then you buy a card with a certain value of grivna to apply to the phone. For instance, I bought a 50 grivna card a few days ago. The process consists of exposing the code on the back of the card – kind of like a lottery card. Then you type *100*code number# and hit send. The phone says “please wait”, and a few seconds later you get a message that shows what your new balance is. However, you don’t pay at all for incoming calls. It turned out to be extremely inexpensive to supply him a phone and just enough credit so that he will be able to receive calls from Nastiya. Very cool.

I tried to buy the internet modem at the same store, but they only had PCMCIA cards. This would work for my laptop, but I figured I should get a USB card instead – the odds are better that future families will be able to use the card. So off we went to another store. Sure enough, they had this nifty USB card – MTC KOHHEKT (MTC CONNECT). Once I purchased the card, I plugged it into the USB port. The first thing I saw was the installation message about a mass storage device and then a message about a new modem. The next thing that happened was the setup program started automatically. How about that – the device came with a disk partition that launched the driver installer. Very slick. I chose the English language option – the girl who sold it to me, who so far had only spoken Russian through the interpreter, said, “You don’t want to use the Ukrainian option?” We had a laugh about that, and then we had a nice conversation in English about how long I was here, etc. Very funny – everybody speaks English.

The one other detail about the card: you don’t buy unlimited access like you do in the US: the unit of measure is actually the amount of data transferred. The card came with a plan that provides 4GB of data, but only 1GB before 10/31. So I measured: looks like we can be fairly judicious with our web browsing and use about 25MB per hour. This will give us ~40 hours of connect time before we leave Ukraine. With care, this should work. If it doesn’t, the card can be re-charged the same way as I described with the phone. The cool part is that the cost for 10GB is 250 grivna – about $30. That’s ball-park 40 hours of connect time. Obviously not as easy as just staying connected like I do in the US with my Verizon card, but hey – lots cooler than hanging at the internet café and trying to do the transfer etc. Plus the travel time to and from the café – so far we’re wondering when we’re going to get to the slow part of this trip that we’ve heard about. We will get to that – but more about that tomorrow.

Finally, around 10:45, we headed over to the orphanage to meet with Nastiya and her brother. It was really great to meet him – he’s a really nice young man, and it’s obvious how much he cares for his sister. He is a very shy person, so the majority of the time was spent explaining how they could keep in touch using this phone and how we can use mail. We took plenty of pictures, got his address, asked if he had any questions, etc. I think he was quite overwhelmed with the entire meeting, as well as the fact that his sister will be living practically on the other side of the planet.

After the orphanage, we headed off for lunch – pizza! It was really good. Quite different, but we really enjoyed it. After that we needed to finish the applications at – you guessed it – the notary bureau! Back to the notary bureau. We got there around 3 PM when we were supposed to have our appointment, but the papers weren’t ready. Our interpreter said she needed to get some other papers taken care of that the orphanage, so we headed back over there. We got there, and our interpreter told us to wait. Of course we asked if we could hang with Nastiya while we waited, and she went to check. On the way in, her phone rang – the papers were ready at the notary bureau! “Everything changed – get back in the car!” Back we went to the bureau, and sat quietly while the girl in the office (secretary? Assistant?) finished typing the documents, and then our interpreter went over them in great detail. Half an hour later, six copies of the application were placed in front of us for signature and printed names. By number six, I couldn’t remember how to spell my own name

As soon as we finished signing, the guy at the notary took off like a shot. Our interpreter said that we’re done! Paper chase done! Now we wait for the court date. Our interpreter says that everything is done in a timely manner, so can ask for the court date next Thursday. This is exactly the time frame that we have been shooting for: if we can have the appointment in the morning, then we have the party at the orphanage right after lunch and then jump in the car and drive 2 hours back to Donets’k. From there we fly to Mariupol, and on Friday we make a stop at the Embassy – maybe. We still have not figured out exactly how to do the second trip – whether we both come or just Susie comes on her own. If we both come, then I don’t need to go to the embassy. I think we’re leaning this way right now. But if just Susie comes back, then we have to fill out a form at the Embassy while I’m here on this trip. So currently, we plan to do that Friday if required, then catch our currently scheduled flights on Saturday with an overnight in London.

Anyway, we headed back to the orphanage, hung with Nastiya in the hallway for about 10-15 minutes while our interpreter read a letter to one of the other kids who had come to San Jose, then we headed home for a quiet dinner in the apartment.

To bed!

Sue – Friday, October 23

Day 8 – Mariupol – End of Papers (for Now)

Sue here… I think Jeff blogs beautifully! Just adding my own impressions here…

Meeting Nastiya’s brother was emotional for me. I liked him very, very much! I could see he was not only overwhelmed, but also very heartbroken. He regularly visits his sister in the orphanage. At 15 years old, he is almost “adult”. When children hit 16, they can work 35 hours a week (7 hours a day instead of the real “adult” 8 hours a day). In the states, they are still “children” until 18 (or graduate high school…), but here, they are working and supporting the sick or elderly adults at 16, with no stipend or other help from the government. It is a little unnerving for me, since Connor just turned 16 in July, and thinking of him working full-time to support me or Jeff, at home sick with TB or cancer. The brother’s dad has TB. A good percentage of the people have tested positive for TB, it is common here. He is living at a boarding school (right now) five days a week, and then living mostly with his aunt on the weekend (they call the 2-day weekend “holiday” – it’s a translation thing).

This brings to mind a story I wanted to share. The first day we saw Nastiya, Wednesday, one of the many questions I asked her was, “Do you still have the two albums we made for you”? “Nyet.” “Did you lose them?” “Nyet.” “Did the other kids grab them and ruin them?” “Nyet.”…. she became increasingly frustrated… the interpreter/translator was out of the room doing official business at the moment, so we were left with usual communication techniques… Russian/English book and hand gestures and limited words…. Then I thought (with her kind, caring nature….) “Did you GIVE it away?!?” “Da…” and she shook her head “yes”. Ahhhh!! I laughed… “Did you give it away to a boy or a girl?” Pause… “A boy!” “A boy you like?” “Da.”
Jeff and I laughed, thinking she gave her Disney album to some boy she liked. Pretty generous (and I couldn’t help thinking about the 3-4 hours I labored over it, picking all the right pictures out of the hundreds of pictures of our Disney trip to put into it!) I was a little disappointed. I thought she would NEVER let go of the Disneyland album! The hundred best pictures of our very busy two days in Disneyland and California Resort?!? Gone?!? Sigh…

Then on Wednesday, when the translator came back in, we asked her to translate – WHO did Nastiya give the albums to??!!?? And we found out WHO – her brother! She gave not just the Disney album, but the other, larger album, with the ENTIRE visit to America in it, to her brother, so he could have a connection to her and to the family where she will be living. He could see pictures of her house, her dog , her cat, her new Momma, her new Papa, her new “Brat” (brother), the park near the house with the fountain – all the memories I so lovingly labored to put into photo albums for HER to remember us, she selflessly gave to her brother, so he could remember. That’s love. Okay, it brought tears to my eyes, again. I love that girl!

The other story from the other day was how Nastiya called over the other caregivers whenever they went by to show them the photos on Jeff’s computer of her “Novi Brat”… her “new brother”… the translator explained how she’d been very excited about having Connor as her new brother! Apparently, while we were in California thinking about her, she was driving everyone crazy here talking about us to them!!

So, on Friday, we loved the time with her brother, exchanged addresses, gave him a phone, talked, and then went outside to take more pictures… he wanted a lot of pictures of her. We took pictures of all of us, and of her and her brother, and of her alone. He is too big to cry, but throughout the entire meeting, there were times I thought he was going to… and the obvious 500 hundred pound gorilla in the room was… he was here, working full time in the next few months to support his sick dad and his aunt, perhaps, when Nastiya will be with us, finishing high school, going to college, having opportunities he could never even dream of…
It was sad, but ultimately, his love for her, and recognizing the “better life” for her with us is the right choice. So he signed the agreement to let her go (earlier in the week). In Ukraine, the extended family must agree to let them be adopted, so other families will go through this process.

The other thing about our very limited meeting with Nastiya in the hallway later in the afternoon was this: I shared a chair with Nastiya, and we let her listen to the mini-ipod that Connor gave to her, and that Jeff had loaded all her Russian CDs onto.

Dark-haired V. came down to visit with the translator, who the children know from visits with families…

J. from mid-west will know who I’m talking about… So, V. was very, very excited to have the letter interpreted for him. (The other day, Wed, I think, when we briefly saw the other children, and gave them the gifts the families sent, we had not had time to speak with each one individually with the interpreter… Someone came in and hurried the children out… so we never got a chance to speak with each child individually…)

So here V. was, having the letter from his new family read to him by the interpreter. He was very excited, and really, really enjoyed having the letter interpreted!! Joy, excitement, and a very focused interest was placed on that letter! He was animated and also counseled Nastiya in NOT taking the ipod back to her dorm, saying to her – “it will get broken or stolen by other children… so let your Momma and Papa take it!” There was a very animated discussion between him and Nastiya about whether or not she should take the ipod back to her dorm. We wanted to keep it for her to have on the 30 hour-two days of travel to get home in November… so we were happy to have V. as an advocate on our side. Shows wisdom.

On Friday night, I made some smoked mackerel – boiled – and home fries and onions. YUM! I cannot find the salted mackerel in California, so when I saw it in the package at the store, I pounced on it! Yup. It did taste a lot like the salted mackerel and home fries we used to have for Sunday brunch at Aunt Helen’s house, when I was about six years old. Our interpreter was polite – Jeff ate leftovers….

And the saga continues…..