Jeff and Sue: Day 14 – Party Day!

Jeff – Thursday, October 29, 2009

Day 14 – Party Day!

Thursday was another slow start. The plan was to have the part as scheduled at the orphanage at 2 PM. Until then, we were basically waiting to hear the outcome in Kiev!

Our interpreter headed out early to make sure that the judge would have time to meet with us on Friday, assuming the SDA approval arrives. Sue was still feeling sick, so she stayed in bed – and slept! I grabbed the bible and my other book and hung out in the kitchen drinking European coffee – strong! When our interpreter got back, she told me that the judge had agreed to a Friday appointment, but he was a bit annoyed and told her to come back when she had the papers. We waited…

The news came around 10:30 – success! The papers were signed and would be overnighted to Mariupol. We were on! Long story short – our interpreter called the judge and we are set for noon on Friday!

Susie slept in as long as she could to try to fight off the cold. When she got up, she was feisty! Feeling much better!

We headed over to the orphanage around 1:45. We went through all the usual rituals – go to The Green Room, sign the register, etc. When Nastiya showed up, she was radiant! She showed up in a beautiful white party dress, and somebody had braided her hair down both sides – very tightly. She was pretty spun up – very excited about the party. We hung out for a few minutes in The Green Room with her, and then we got the call to go upstairs. We had noticed a larger room across the hall from Nastiya’s “pod” when we took pictures – there was some sort of musical gathering going on there the day we took pictures. Sure enough, that’s where we went. We were seated along one wall with Nastiya sitting between us. All of the kids in her group were either dressed in their Sunday finest or in costumes for performing. The kids from her group were all seated next to us along the same wall or to our right on the nearest wall. Not all of the kids from the orphanage were there, but many of them from other groups were there, sitting on the far wall to our left.

The show started with one girl coming out and either reciting a story or a poem – my Russian wasn’t up to the task. This was followed by a young man singing – quite well. Nastiya knew all the words and sang quietly along with him. The next act was a tap dance a la Fred and Ginger, complete with top hat and cane. After this, the little girls in Nastiya’s pod put on a little dance and gymnastics routine all dressed up in tutus and spandex. Very cute. When this was over, the little girls lined up, and one by one, called Nastiya by name and made a wish for her future – all the way from I hope you have a nice family to be sure to listen to your new parents (I liked that one)! When this was done, the teacher/caregiver went to the center stage and called the rest of Nastiya’s group to the stage (center of the room). She then recited for some time in Russian. Then she called Nastiya up, and the kids surrounded her, and the teacher continued. Then Nastiya came back to us, grabbed us each by the hand, and brought us to the center of the group, where the teacher spoke to us briefly, and then there were a million hugs all around from all of the kids in the group.

At the end of this, we went back to Nastiya’s pod and had more hugs and well wishes. All of the kids were very excited in general, but they really seemed to be wishing Nastiya well. The little girls all surrounded Sue and Nastiya for lots more hugs. The caregiver asked who Nastiya looks like, momma or papa, and of course the entire room shouted “Momma!”

Really a beautiful party, and a nice going away event for Nastiya. Now if everything had gone according to plan, this would have all happened after she was officially our daughter – usually the court appointment is in the morning and the party is in the afternoon. Since the party was already planned, we kept it on schedule even though our court appointment was postponed. But of course, there is the 10 day wait after the court grants the adoption, so she would be staying for 10 more days anyway. Details about that tomorrow – with the rundown of the court appointment!

Over dinner, our interpreter prepared us for court the next day. There were some very specific answers that were required by law, and she wanted to make sure we understood the procedures. “What do you ask the court?” “We ask to adopt Anastasiya, we ask to be listed as her birth parents, we ask that her name be changed to Anastasia Luciana Stilwell…” The other requirements were around making sure we knew the relationship of Nastiya to her brother, sister, mother and father and why she is available, making sure we know the five requirements once we bring her to the US, making sure we know her medical history. The law requires us to be clear on all of these factors. Tomorrow is the big day for the legal deal in Ukraine. This is it!

Sue – Thursday, October 29th

Day 14 – Party for Nastiya!!!

Jeff did a great rundown on the party!

When we were sitting in the anteroom, with Nastiya all decked out in her white party dress (the kind you’d dress a child in for their confirmation, or Easter Sunday), I kept touching her braids – they were really fantastic! Who does them? Another child, or the caregivers?
And this dress was simply beautiful! You could tell that this was a very, very special occasion! Every time she stood up, she smoothed the front of her dress, and when she would move from one place to another, she would make sure the dress was hanging down perfectly. For all her “girlie” ways, I think she has a bit of the “tom-boy” in her!! Right after the celebration, she quickly changed out of the dress! I hope she likes the Christmas burgundy dress with little bows I got her!

The celebration was great! The boy singing had the face of a 14 year old, with the body of a 10 year old… and he sang very well! I thought of Misha doing the acrobatics, when the boys came out and did tumbles and cartwheels. I think of the 1950’s and 1960’s whenever we go somewhere or do something here…the miniskirts, the tall boots, the dresses, the way that men are “macho”, and women more feminine… I do not see sneakers on any women, anywhere… they wear boots or shoes of some sort. The only sneakers I see being worn are by young men or boys. So, if you Amerikankas (women) and Amerikanits’ (men) wear sneakers, you stand out like a sore thumb! Mostly true of Europe, in general, but I thought I’d mention it, since I became acutely aware of it here.

I loved the little girls doing pom-poms, and the boys tumbling, and the “Putting on the Ritz” skit with an older boy and girl! Then, when all the little boys and girls got in a line, and recited their “wishes” for Nastiya, and her new family, I started choking up! Our interpreter leaned over and whispered what they were saying…” Now they say that every child wishes for a forever family to call their own…Now they wish for Nastiya a wonderful family always with love in the home… Now they wish for Nastiya to always listen to her Momma and Papa…” and so on… about 14-15 wishes!!

By the time ALL the children in Anastasia’s “pod” made their speeches, and she came out and got our hands to take us up there to say good-bye to all her friends, I was just overwhelmed! The children immediately ran over to the tables filled with bananas, plums, fruits, cookies, candies, and other treats, I was in tears! Big fat tears were rolling down my face! The social worker and the one teacher/caregiver came over and said (with our translator)… “If you cry, the children will cry…” so I wiped my tears, and composed myself. I couldn’t help thinking about the life that awaits so many of these little girls if they do not get adopted! Ten percent commit suicide between 16-18 years old? And 50-60% become prostitutes?!? It’s hard to bear. So I cry for the injustice, and I cry for happiness at us adopting this lovely creature, and I try to think about the starfishes on the beach.

You all know the story… the man and the boy are walking along the beach at low tide. There are millions of starfishes on the beach, and when the sun comes up, before high tide, they will all die. And the little boy, as he walks, picks up starfish after starfish and throws them back into the ocean. The man says…”What difference does it make, if you throw a few back? Look at the beach… there are millions out there… you can’t save them all!? What does it matter?” And the little boy, as he picked up another starfish, ready to fling it far into the pounding surf, said “It matters to THIS ONE!” and tossed it into the water.

So here I am, surrounded by little children, and I am so happy that we have a daughter to call our very own, and that she will never hit the streets of Mariupol, homeless and penniless. We go into her “pod” room, and we are swamped with all the children; Nastiya introduces each of them to us; some we met the other day, others we are just meeting. Some we saw during the performance have families who hosted them in Aug/Sept, but I don’t know who they are… all of them want to meet us, shake hands, or share hugs, and I just LOVE IT!

I could stay here for a month or two, and get to know these children…
“Kak-za-voot?”
And they each tell you their name, and you want to take them ALL home with you!
And a great longing comes over you…
and a sadness…
and a realization that this event is bigger than you are…
and that indeed you cannot take them ALL home with you…
and then you stop…
and remember the starfish.