jeff and Sue (and Jeff again) - Day 15 – Our Day in Court

Jeff – Friday, October 30, 2009

Day 15 – Our Day in Court

I have received some wonderful, supporting emails during this journey. The support I have felt from around the world has been one of the most awe-inspiring aspects of this journey. Sue and I listened to a relationship seminar (it was on video tape if that gives you an idea how long ago this was) by a man named Gary Smalley. One of the examples that he gave was to describe what he referred to as “awe” – of his wife, and his kids. He was a very humorous speaker, but he really tried to revert to the true, raw meaning of the word. From www.dictionary.com: “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like”.

In the day to day minutiae of the process, it is easy to get caught up in the details. But we have heard from prayer groups in New Jersey, of course many of our close friends and family, and random people we have met throughout this journey – all in deep support of our taking on the care of this wonderful child. God Bless you all – and thank you!

I think a quick recap is in order, and then I’m going to let Sue blog about court. She keeps accusing me of stealing her thunder, but it’s just because I wake up before she does! I think we’ve blogged about most of this, so I will keep it fairly high level.

So: here’s the original process and a vague timeline of events:
• Start of home study process: lots of paperwork, medical exams, interviews with the social worker (started end of June, received first packet of paperwork July 2, final home study received August 19th)
• Hosting an orphan for and American Culture Camp (started July 5th – three weeks)
• Apply to USCIS for the I-171H letter – approval to adopt a foreign child (first packet submitted around 8/1 but home study required for final approval – letter received 9/10)
• Create the dossier for submission to the Ukrainian SDA (pieces sent before, but full dossier submitted 9/10 – presented to SDA in Ukraine on 9/16)
• Received date to meet with SDA (10/19)
• Meet with SDA, get approval to go to region
• Travel to region, get local approval to spend time with child (10/21)
• Get all approvals (local, SDA, orphanage, brother and sister in our case
• Have court date to petition for adoption – receive approval (10/30)

Here we are! Yet to complete:
• Ten day waiting period required by Ukrainian law before we can take her home
• Return to Donets’k/Mariupol. (11/9) Acquire local decree from court, new birth certificate from place of birth (Mariupol) (11/10)
• Travel to Donets’k (equivalent of state capitol) to get Ukrainian passport in new name (11/10)
• Travel to Kiev to get Visa from US Embassy (11/11-12).
• Bring Nastiya home (11/13)!
And I’ll leave off here to let Sue tell the story of our court hearing in Mariupol. She’s still sleeping, so you will to wait a little longer…

Sue – Friday, October 30th

Day 15 – Court Day

What, Jeff leaves the anti-climactic part for me?!?
The night before court, our translator talked with us about court; what to expect, and what type of questions that the judge MAY ask. The same questions that are in the packet from David, and also the specifics about the child… what are you asking the court? To change her surname, to change her first name, and change the birth certificate parents, but keep her place and date of birth.

Friday morning, we got dressed in our “nice” clothes, jackets, slacks (Jeff… the red tie or the blue tie?) The weather is sunnier, but still cold, and I am grateful it is NOT pouring rain. The other driver, from Donets’k, came down and stopped by about 45 minutes before we were to leave, and he and the translator chatted away in the living room, while we finished up packing for leaving and primping for court. “Jeff, is your tie straight? Does this blouse look best with these slacks, or should I wear the other blouse?” and so on…

So, 11:00am we leave for the notary office, and we all go in to finish final paperwork, and signatures (again… I think we’ve been here 3 or 4 times now, and our translator even more!). Then off to court! They check your passports inside the front door, and you go up large, stone steps to long, dark hallways. I can’t help but think about the Soviet Union Communist times, and how scary it must have been for someone to be taken to KGB court here! Of course, since we don’t know how long court and waiting on the judge may be, we want to use a bathroom, which involves getting a key from someone and going down another turn in the hallway, and sitting in a row of chairs MEANT to be bolted to the floor, but are NOT! Every time you get up and down, they move as if to tip over, and you have some excitement in your life…

So, she comes back with a key, and I go into the… bathroom. Again, as is common here, there is an anteroom with a sink, and then another door with the… you guessed it… the whole in the floor! Nicely ceramic, with “grids” on each side, also ceramic, for your feet. I wanted to take a picture, but Jeff said “No pictures in the courthouse…” and, since I don’t know their laws, I decided not to. THAT would be a picture to post! The rooms are rather poorly lit and don’t seem that clean.

So then we wait… Jeff and I sat on the non-moving bench.
Then we went into the courtroom, and I concentrated on stuff to make me NOT cry. I was actually relaxed, not nervous very much. I’ll let Jeff talk about the actual court proceedings, while I just wrap up, because I need to shower and get out of Kiev this morning!
But my overall feelings during, and after, court were… anti-climactic. It went smoothly, thanks to the preparation of all those involved. It was not emotional at all, believe it or not. It was business as usual. I felt relieved afterwards. I felt grateful that all we had to do was show up and answer a few questions. When we left, Jeff and I were very excited!
“IT’S A GIRL!” Kind of funny… for the first child, Connor, I did all the labor for nine months, and the second child, Jeff did all the labor (paperwork) for four months… LOL

Back to Jeff:

I thought Sue would enjoy talking about that part – hmm. Twenty years together and I still get it wrong

Sue did catch the court proceedings pretty well – anti-climactic. The prosecutor, the local inspector and the orphanage representative were all there before the judge. There were also two “jury” members – basically witnesses, and the court reporter. The prosecutor asked us one question before we started: will our daughter have all the same rights as our biological son and who gives her those rights? We explained that in the eyes of the law, they have exactly the same rights. Of course, we will consider her as our daughter anyway, but the legal answer satisfied her.

Once the judge came in, he asked us a very few questions: what do you ask the court, what do you think about Nastiya. He asked both of us this question. Sue told me I can tell this story: for those of you who know Sue, she has plenty of words available. Well, believe it or not, after the interpreter had warned her to be brief – she was actually too brief! The judge had to ask her for more details about what she thought of Nastiya!

The judge then proceeded to list all of the documents from the dossier. He and the other three representatives (inspector, prosecutor, and orphanage rep) all had the full dossier – huge mounds of paper by this time, what will all the notaries, apostilles, and Ukrainian translations and petitions. He then asked each of the three if there were any objections. Of course, by this time – the work was done – all three stood up in turn and said no, they were in full support. The judge left the room.

18 minutes later, the judge returned and read his final resolution. At 1:25 PM local time, Anastasiya became Anastasia Luciana Stilwell – daughter of Jeffrey Michael and Susann Tindall Stilwell.

Now for the ten day waiting period…

After court, we had to race: we had a 6PM flight out of Donets'k - a two hour drive. But we had to see Nastiya before we left. Her's the image I will close with: picture a 10 year old girl jumping up and down and whirling around with a huge smile on her face, then racing to get a hug from every caregiver and orphanage official in sight!