Jeff – Friday, October 30, 2009
Day 15 – Our Day in Court
I have received some wonderful, supporting emails during this journey. The support I have felt from around the world has been one of the most awe-inspiring aspects of this journey. Sue and I listened to a relationship seminar (it was on video tape if that gives you an idea how long ago this was) by a man named Gary Smalley. One of the examples that he gave was to describe what he referred to as “awe” – of his wife, and his kids. He was a very humorous speaker, but he really tried to revert to the true, raw meaning of the word. From www.dictionary.com: “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like”.
In the day to day minutiae of the process, it is easy to get caught up in the details. But we have heard from prayer groups in New Jersey, of course many of our close friends and family, and random people we have met throughout this journey – all in deep support of our taking on the care of this wonderful child. God Bless you all – and thank you!
I think a quick recap is in order, and then I’m going to let Sue blog about court. She keeps accusing me of stealing her thunder, but it’s just because I wake up before she does! I think we’ve blogged about most of this, so I will keep it fairly high level.
So: here’s the original process and a vague timeline of events:
• Start of home study process: lots of paperwork, medical exams, interviews with the social worker (started end of June, received first packet of paperwork July 2, final home study received August 19th)
• Hosting an orphan for and American Culture Camp (started July 5th – three weeks)
• Apply to USCIS for the I-171H letter – approval to adopt a foreign child (first packet submitted around 8/1 but home study required for final approval – letter received 9/10)
• Create the dossier for submission to the Ukrainian SDA (pieces sent before, but full dossier submitted 9/10 – presented to SDA in Ukraine on 9/16)
• Received date to meet with SDA (10/19)
• Meet with SDA, get approval to go to region
• Travel to region, get local approval to spend time with child (10/21)
• Get all approvals (local, SDA, orphanage, brother and sister in our case
• Have court date to petition for adoption – receive approval (10/30)
Here we are! Yet to complete:
• Ten day waiting period required by Ukrainian law before we can take her home
• Return to Donets’k/Mariupol. (11/9) Acquire local decree from court, new birth certificate from place of birth (Mariupol) (11/10)
• Travel to Donets’k (equivalent of state capitol) to get Ukrainian passport in new name (11/10)
• Travel to Kiev to get Visa from US Embassy (11/11-12).
• Bring Nastiya home (11/13)!
And I’ll leave off here to let Sue tell the story of our court hearing in Mariupol. She’s still sleeping, so you will to wait a little longer…
Sue – Friday, October 30th
Day 15 – Court Day
What, Jeff leaves the anti-climactic part for me?!?
The night before court, our translator talked with us about court; what to expect, and what type of questions that the judge MAY ask. The same questions that are in the packet from David, and also the specifics about the child… what are you asking the court? To change her surname, to change her first name, and change the birth certificate parents, but keep her place and date of birth.
Friday morning, we got dressed in our “nice” clothes, jackets, slacks (Jeff… the red tie or the blue tie?) The weather is sunnier, but still cold, and I am grateful it is NOT pouring rain. The other driver, from Donets’k, came down and stopped by about 45 minutes before we were to leave, and he and the translator chatted away in the living room, while we finished up packing for leaving and primping for court. “Jeff, is your tie straight? Does this blouse look best with these slacks, or should I wear the other blouse?” and so on…
So, 11:00am we leave for the notary office, and we all go in to finish final paperwork, and signatures (again… I think we’ve been here 3 or 4 times now, and our translator even more!). Then off to court! They check your passports inside the front door, and you go up large, stone steps to long, dark hallways. I can’t help but think about the Soviet Union Communist times, and how scary it must have been for someone to be taken to KGB court here! Of course, since we don’t know how long court and waiting on the judge may be, we want to use a bathroom, which involves getting a key from someone and going down another turn in the hallway, and sitting in a row of chairs MEANT to be bolted to the floor, but are NOT! Every time you get up and down, they move as if to tip over, and you have some excitement in your life…
So, she comes back with a key, and I go into the… bathroom. Again, as is common here, there is an anteroom with a sink, and then another door with the… you guessed it… the whole in the floor! Nicely ceramic, with “grids” on each side, also ceramic, for your feet. I wanted to take a picture, but Jeff said “No pictures in the courthouse…” and, since I don’t know their laws, I decided not to. THAT would be a picture to post! The rooms are rather poorly lit and don’t seem that clean.
So then we wait… Jeff and I sat on the non-moving bench.
Then we went into the courtroom, and I concentrated on stuff to make me NOT cry. I was actually relaxed, not nervous very much. I’ll let Jeff talk about the actual court proceedings, while I just wrap up, because I need to shower and get out of Kiev this morning!
But my overall feelings during, and after, court were… anti-climactic. It went smoothly, thanks to the preparation of all those involved. It was not emotional at all, believe it or not. It was business as usual. I felt relieved afterwards. I felt grateful that all we had to do was show up and answer a few questions. When we left, Jeff and I were very excited!
“IT’S A GIRL!” Kind of funny… for the first child, Connor, I did all the labor for nine months, and the second child, Jeff did all the labor (paperwork) for four months… LOL
Back to Jeff:
I thought Sue would enjoy talking about that part – hmm. Twenty years together and I still get it wrong
Sue did catch the court proceedings pretty well – anti-climactic. The prosecutor, the local inspector and the orphanage representative were all there before the judge. There were also two “jury” members – basically witnesses, and the court reporter. The prosecutor asked us one question before we started: will our daughter have all the same rights as our biological son and who gives her those rights? We explained that in the eyes of the law, they have exactly the same rights. Of course, we will consider her as our daughter anyway, but the legal answer satisfied her.
Once the judge came in, he asked us a very few questions: what do you ask the court, what do you think about Nastiya. He asked both of us this question. Sue told me I can tell this story: for those of you who know Sue, she has plenty of words available. Well, believe it or not, after the interpreter had warned her to be brief – she was actually too brief! The judge had to ask her for more details about what she thought of Nastiya!
The judge then proceeded to list all of the documents from the dossier. He and the other three representatives (inspector, prosecutor, and orphanage rep) all had the full dossier – huge mounds of paper by this time, what will all the notaries, apostilles, and Ukrainian translations and petitions. He then asked each of the three if there were any objections. Of course, by this time – the work was done – all three stood up in turn and said no, they were in full support. The judge left the room.
18 minutes later, the judge returned and read his final resolution. At 1:25 PM local time, Anastasiya became Anastasia Luciana Stilwell – daughter of Jeffrey Michael and Susann Tindall Stilwell.
Now for the ten day waiting period…
After court, we had to race: we had a 6PM flight out of Donets'k - a two hour drive. But we had to see Nastiya before we left. Her's the image I will close with: picture a 10 year old girl jumping up and down and whirling around with a huge smile on her face, then racing to get a hug from every caregiver and orphanage official in sight!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Jeff and Sue: Day 14 – Party Day!
Jeff – Thursday, October 29, 2009
Day 14 – Party Day!
Thursday was another slow start. The plan was to have the part as scheduled at the orphanage at 2 PM. Until then, we were basically waiting to hear the outcome in Kiev!
Our interpreter headed out early to make sure that the judge would have time to meet with us on Friday, assuming the SDA approval arrives. Sue was still feeling sick, so she stayed in bed – and slept! I grabbed the bible and my other book and hung out in the kitchen drinking European coffee – strong! When our interpreter got back, she told me that the judge had agreed to a Friday appointment, but he was a bit annoyed and told her to come back when she had the papers. We waited…
The news came around 10:30 – success! The papers were signed and would be overnighted to Mariupol. We were on! Long story short – our interpreter called the judge and we are set for noon on Friday!
Susie slept in as long as she could to try to fight off the cold. When she got up, she was feisty! Feeling much better!
We headed over to the orphanage around 1:45. We went through all the usual rituals – go to The Green Room, sign the register, etc. When Nastiya showed up, she was radiant! She showed up in a beautiful white party dress, and somebody had braided her hair down both sides – very tightly. She was pretty spun up – very excited about the party. We hung out for a few minutes in The Green Room with her, and then we got the call to go upstairs. We had noticed a larger room across the hall from Nastiya’s “pod” when we took pictures – there was some sort of musical gathering going on there the day we took pictures. Sure enough, that’s where we went. We were seated along one wall with Nastiya sitting between us. All of the kids in her group were either dressed in their Sunday finest or in costumes for performing. The kids from her group were all seated next to us along the same wall or to our right on the nearest wall. Not all of the kids from the orphanage were there, but many of them from other groups were there, sitting on the far wall to our left.
The show started with one girl coming out and either reciting a story or a poem – my Russian wasn’t up to the task. This was followed by a young man singing – quite well. Nastiya knew all the words and sang quietly along with him. The next act was a tap dance a la Fred and Ginger, complete with top hat and cane. After this, the little girls in Nastiya’s pod put on a little dance and gymnastics routine all dressed up in tutus and spandex. Very cute. When this was over, the little girls lined up, and one by one, called Nastiya by name and made a wish for her future – all the way from I hope you have a nice family to be sure to listen to your new parents (I liked that one)! When this was done, the teacher/caregiver went to the center stage and called the rest of Nastiya’s group to the stage (center of the room). She then recited for some time in Russian. Then she called Nastiya up, and the kids surrounded her, and the teacher continued. Then Nastiya came back to us, grabbed us each by the hand, and brought us to the center of the group, where the teacher spoke to us briefly, and then there were a million hugs all around from all of the kids in the group.
At the end of this, we went back to Nastiya’s pod and had more hugs and well wishes. All of the kids were very excited in general, but they really seemed to be wishing Nastiya well. The little girls all surrounded Sue and Nastiya for lots more hugs. The caregiver asked who Nastiya looks like, momma or papa, and of course the entire room shouted “Momma!”
Really a beautiful party, and a nice going away event for Nastiya. Now if everything had gone according to plan, this would have all happened after she was officially our daughter – usually the court appointment is in the morning and the party is in the afternoon. Since the party was already planned, we kept it on schedule even though our court appointment was postponed. But of course, there is the 10 day wait after the court grants the adoption, so she would be staying for 10 more days anyway. Details about that tomorrow – with the rundown of the court appointment!
Over dinner, our interpreter prepared us for court the next day. There were some very specific answers that were required by law, and she wanted to make sure we understood the procedures. “What do you ask the court?” “We ask to adopt Anastasiya, we ask to be listed as her birth parents, we ask that her name be changed to Anastasia Luciana Stilwell…” The other requirements were around making sure we knew the relationship of Nastiya to her brother, sister, mother and father and why she is available, making sure we know the five requirements once we bring her to the US, making sure we know her medical history. The law requires us to be clear on all of these factors. Tomorrow is the big day for the legal deal in Ukraine. This is it!
Sue – Thursday, October 29th
Day 14 – Party for Nastiya!!!
Jeff did a great rundown on the party!
When we were sitting in the anteroom, with Nastiya all decked out in her white party dress (the kind you’d dress a child in for their confirmation, or Easter Sunday), I kept touching her braids – they were really fantastic! Who does them? Another child, or the caregivers?
And this dress was simply beautiful! You could tell that this was a very, very special occasion! Every time she stood up, she smoothed the front of her dress, and when she would move from one place to another, she would make sure the dress was hanging down perfectly. For all her “girlie” ways, I think she has a bit of the “tom-boy” in her!! Right after the celebration, she quickly changed out of the dress! I hope she likes the Christmas burgundy dress with little bows I got her!
The celebration was great! The boy singing had the face of a 14 year old, with the body of a 10 year old… and he sang very well! I thought of Misha doing the acrobatics, when the boys came out and did tumbles and cartwheels. I think of the 1950’s and 1960’s whenever we go somewhere or do something here…the miniskirts, the tall boots, the dresses, the way that men are “macho”, and women more feminine… I do not see sneakers on any women, anywhere… they wear boots or shoes of some sort. The only sneakers I see being worn are by young men or boys. So, if you Amerikankas (women) and Amerikanits’ (men) wear sneakers, you stand out like a sore thumb! Mostly true of Europe, in general, but I thought I’d mention it, since I became acutely aware of it here.
I loved the little girls doing pom-poms, and the boys tumbling, and the “Putting on the Ritz” skit with an older boy and girl! Then, when all the little boys and girls got in a line, and recited their “wishes” for Nastiya, and her new family, I started choking up! Our interpreter leaned over and whispered what they were saying…” Now they say that every child wishes for a forever family to call their own…Now they wish for Nastiya a wonderful family always with love in the home… Now they wish for Nastiya to always listen to her Momma and Papa…” and so on… about 14-15 wishes!!
By the time ALL the children in Anastasia’s “pod” made their speeches, and she came out and got our hands to take us up there to say good-bye to all her friends, I was just overwhelmed! The children immediately ran over to the tables filled with bananas, plums, fruits, cookies, candies, and other treats, I was in tears! Big fat tears were rolling down my face! The social worker and the one teacher/caregiver came over and said (with our translator)… “If you cry, the children will cry…” so I wiped my tears, and composed myself. I couldn’t help thinking about the life that awaits so many of these little girls if they do not get adopted! Ten percent commit suicide between 16-18 years old? And 50-60% become prostitutes?!? It’s hard to bear. So I cry for the injustice, and I cry for happiness at us adopting this lovely creature, and I try to think about the starfishes on the beach.
You all know the story… the man and the boy are walking along the beach at low tide. There are millions of starfishes on the beach, and when the sun comes up, before high tide, they will all die. And the little boy, as he walks, picks up starfish after starfish and throws them back into the ocean. The man says…”What difference does it make, if you throw a few back? Look at the beach… there are millions out there… you can’t save them all!? What does it matter?” And the little boy, as he picked up another starfish, ready to fling it far into the pounding surf, said “It matters to THIS ONE!” and tossed it into the water.
So here I am, surrounded by little children, and I am so happy that we have a daughter to call our very own, and that she will never hit the streets of Mariupol, homeless and penniless. We go into her “pod” room, and we are swamped with all the children; Nastiya introduces each of them to us; some we met the other day, others we are just meeting. Some we saw during the performance have families who hosted them in Aug/Sept, but I don’t know who they are… all of them want to meet us, shake hands, or share hugs, and I just LOVE IT!
I could stay here for a month or two, and get to know these children…
“Kak-za-voot?”
And they each tell you their name, and you want to take them ALL home with you!
And a great longing comes over you…
and a sadness…
and a realization that this event is bigger than you are…
and that indeed you cannot take them ALL home with you…
and then you stop…
and remember the starfish.
Day 14 – Party Day!
Thursday was another slow start. The plan was to have the part as scheduled at the orphanage at 2 PM. Until then, we were basically waiting to hear the outcome in Kiev!
Our interpreter headed out early to make sure that the judge would have time to meet with us on Friday, assuming the SDA approval arrives. Sue was still feeling sick, so she stayed in bed – and slept! I grabbed the bible and my other book and hung out in the kitchen drinking European coffee – strong! When our interpreter got back, she told me that the judge had agreed to a Friday appointment, but he was a bit annoyed and told her to come back when she had the papers. We waited…
The news came around 10:30 – success! The papers were signed and would be overnighted to Mariupol. We were on! Long story short – our interpreter called the judge and we are set for noon on Friday!
Susie slept in as long as she could to try to fight off the cold. When she got up, she was feisty! Feeling much better!
We headed over to the orphanage around 1:45. We went through all the usual rituals – go to The Green Room, sign the register, etc. When Nastiya showed up, she was radiant! She showed up in a beautiful white party dress, and somebody had braided her hair down both sides – very tightly. She was pretty spun up – very excited about the party. We hung out for a few minutes in The Green Room with her, and then we got the call to go upstairs. We had noticed a larger room across the hall from Nastiya’s “pod” when we took pictures – there was some sort of musical gathering going on there the day we took pictures. Sure enough, that’s where we went. We were seated along one wall with Nastiya sitting between us. All of the kids in her group were either dressed in their Sunday finest or in costumes for performing. The kids from her group were all seated next to us along the same wall or to our right on the nearest wall. Not all of the kids from the orphanage were there, but many of them from other groups were there, sitting on the far wall to our left.
The show started with one girl coming out and either reciting a story or a poem – my Russian wasn’t up to the task. This was followed by a young man singing – quite well. Nastiya knew all the words and sang quietly along with him. The next act was a tap dance a la Fred and Ginger, complete with top hat and cane. After this, the little girls in Nastiya’s pod put on a little dance and gymnastics routine all dressed up in tutus and spandex. Very cute. When this was over, the little girls lined up, and one by one, called Nastiya by name and made a wish for her future – all the way from I hope you have a nice family to be sure to listen to your new parents (I liked that one)! When this was done, the teacher/caregiver went to the center stage and called the rest of Nastiya’s group to the stage (center of the room). She then recited for some time in Russian. Then she called Nastiya up, and the kids surrounded her, and the teacher continued. Then Nastiya came back to us, grabbed us each by the hand, and brought us to the center of the group, where the teacher spoke to us briefly, and then there were a million hugs all around from all of the kids in the group.
At the end of this, we went back to Nastiya’s pod and had more hugs and well wishes. All of the kids were very excited in general, but they really seemed to be wishing Nastiya well. The little girls all surrounded Sue and Nastiya for lots more hugs. The caregiver asked who Nastiya looks like, momma or papa, and of course the entire room shouted “Momma!”
Really a beautiful party, and a nice going away event for Nastiya. Now if everything had gone according to plan, this would have all happened after she was officially our daughter – usually the court appointment is in the morning and the party is in the afternoon. Since the party was already planned, we kept it on schedule even though our court appointment was postponed. But of course, there is the 10 day wait after the court grants the adoption, so she would be staying for 10 more days anyway. Details about that tomorrow – with the rundown of the court appointment!
Over dinner, our interpreter prepared us for court the next day. There were some very specific answers that were required by law, and she wanted to make sure we understood the procedures. “What do you ask the court?” “We ask to adopt Anastasiya, we ask to be listed as her birth parents, we ask that her name be changed to Anastasia Luciana Stilwell…” The other requirements were around making sure we knew the relationship of Nastiya to her brother, sister, mother and father and why she is available, making sure we know the five requirements once we bring her to the US, making sure we know her medical history. The law requires us to be clear on all of these factors. Tomorrow is the big day for the legal deal in Ukraine. This is it!
Sue – Thursday, October 29th
Day 14 – Party for Nastiya!!!
Jeff did a great rundown on the party!
When we were sitting in the anteroom, with Nastiya all decked out in her white party dress (the kind you’d dress a child in for their confirmation, or Easter Sunday), I kept touching her braids – they were really fantastic! Who does them? Another child, or the caregivers?
And this dress was simply beautiful! You could tell that this was a very, very special occasion! Every time she stood up, she smoothed the front of her dress, and when she would move from one place to another, she would make sure the dress was hanging down perfectly. For all her “girlie” ways, I think she has a bit of the “tom-boy” in her!! Right after the celebration, she quickly changed out of the dress! I hope she likes the Christmas burgundy dress with little bows I got her!
The celebration was great! The boy singing had the face of a 14 year old, with the body of a 10 year old… and he sang very well! I thought of Misha doing the acrobatics, when the boys came out and did tumbles and cartwheels. I think of the 1950’s and 1960’s whenever we go somewhere or do something here…the miniskirts, the tall boots, the dresses, the way that men are “macho”, and women more feminine… I do not see sneakers on any women, anywhere… they wear boots or shoes of some sort. The only sneakers I see being worn are by young men or boys. So, if you Amerikankas (women) and Amerikanits’ (men) wear sneakers, you stand out like a sore thumb! Mostly true of Europe, in general, but I thought I’d mention it, since I became acutely aware of it here.
I loved the little girls doing pom-poms, and the boys tumbling, and the “Putting on the Ritz” skit with an older boy and girl! Then, when all the little boys and girls got in a line, and recited their “wishes” for Nastiya, and her new family, I started choking up! Our interpreter leaned over and whispered what they were saying…” Now they say that every child wishes for a forever family to call their own…Now they wish for Nastiya a wonderful family always with love in the home… Now they wish for Nastiya to always listen to her Momma and Papa…” and so on… about 14-15 wishes!!
By the time ALL the children in Anastasia’s “pod” made their speeches, and she came out and got our hands to take us up there to say good-bye to all her friends, I was just overwhelmed! The children immediately ran over to the tables filled with bananas, plums, fruits, cookies, candies, and other treats, I was in tears! Big fat tears were rolling down my face! The social worker and the one teacher/caregiver came over and said (with our translator)… “If you cry, the children will cry…” so I wiped my tears, and composed myself. I couldn’t help thinking about the life that awaits so many of these little girls if they do not get adopted! Ten percent commit suicide between 16-18 years old? And 50-60% become prostitutes?!? It’s hard to bear. So I cry for the injustice, and I cry for happiness at us adopting this lovely creature, and I try to think about the starfishes on the beach.
You all know the story… the man and the boy are walking along the beach at low tide. There are millions of starfishes on the beach, and when the sun comes up, before high tide, they will all die. And the little boy, as he walks, picks up starfish after starfish and throws them back into the ocean. The man says…”What difference does it make, if you throw a few back? Look at the beach… there are millions out there… you can’t save them all!? What does it matter?” And the little boy, as he picked up another starfish, ready to fling it far into the pounding surf, said “It matters to THIS ONE!” and tossed it into the water.
So here I am, surrounded by little children, and I am so happy that we have a daughter to call our very own, and that she will never hit the streets of Mariupol, homeless and penniless. We go into her “pod” room, and we are swamped with all the children; Nastiya introduces each of them to us; some we met the other day, others we are just meeting. Some we saw during the performance have families who hosted them in Aug/Sept, but I don’t know who they are… all of them want to meet us, shake hands, or share hugs, and I just LOVE IT!
I could stay here for a month or two, and get to know these children…
“Kak-za-voot?”
And they each tell you their name, and you want to take them ALL home with you!
And a great longing comes over you…
and a sadness…
and a realization that this event is bigger than you are…
and that indeed you cannot take them ALL home with you…
and then you stop…
and remember the starfish.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Jeff and Sue: Day 13 – Our first snag
Jeff – Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Day 13 – Our first snag
Well, this is the day to sit on pins and needles. Our facilitator in Kiev is awaiting the final signature for the approval from SDA. Everything else is done locally – all approvals from the inspector, the orphanage, Nastiya’s relatives, etc. The appointment is set for noon on Thursday. The schedule, if all works out: attend the court hearing at noon, run over to the orphanage for the farewell party, jump into a car and drive two hours to Donets’k, and catch a 6 PM flight back to Kiev. Pretty packed afternoon with a tight schedule. So today is preparation day – if all goes well.
We started off for the orphanage at around 9:15. The plan is that we hang with Nastiya while our interpreter prepares for the farewell party. We are the hosts for the party, but she is doing all the running around to get toys, food, and other treats. But when we get to the orphanage, Nastiya has left the building – she is at the hospital getting x-rays. One of the hurdles on the second trip when we come to get her is a medical exam required by the embassy. The plan is to have all the pre-work done now, so that all we need to do is hand over the x-rays and other documents to a doctor approved by the embassy, and thereby have a half-hour appointment instead of a three hour appointment to meet the requirements.
So, since Nastiya is out, we decide to go along on running some of the errands. Poor Sue has really been hit by something. She’s talking very quietly because of the congestion in her chest, and she’s very low energy. Mostly we just sit in the car and wait.
Back to the orphanage around 11ish – Nastiya joins us, and we get the OK for her to show us around her “pod” – where she lives. She takes us down the hallway where we’ve watched her disappear each trip, up a set of stairs, and into a set of large rooms. The first room is basically a narrow hallway lined with cabinets. Everything in these rooms has a place – this room is cabinets full of outer garments: sweaters, jackets, hats and shoes. The next room is part classroom, part lounge. Half the room is set up with a couch and chairs with a TV, VCR, and DVD player. The other half is desks and tables arranged with a central teachers area.
Through another door is a bedroom. There are bunkbeds against the outer walls – I think about 4 total (8 beds) – I didn’t count accurately. The center of the room consists of very small beds in rows – another group of about 8. They looked like doll beds to our eyes – the smaller children are not given full size beds. It makes sense, given the surroundings and amount of space available for all these children.
The lunchtime visit went about the same as before. Anastasia is getting more comfortable with us, and she’s trying more English as we spend time with her. Obviously it’s still just a smattering – about the same as our Russian. But the communication level is still high – she tries English, we try Russian, and we meet in the middle with non-verbal! Though she did out-stubborn me when I tried to get her to speak English later in the visit.
We also were surprised by another visit from Nastiya’s brother. He showed up about halfway through our visit. Sue gave him some envelopes so that he could write to his sister, and he even sat down and played Uno with us for a while. It was fun watching Nastiya teach her big tough 15-year old brother how to play Uno. He had a good time with it and enjoyed sticking me with a +4 every bit as much as his sister did!
When we left, Sue was still under the weather, so we stopped at the store and got some pork to cook lunch/dinner at home. Our interpreter showed up with chocolate treats again – looked like tiny little chocolate ice cream cones, but they were closer to chocolate covered cannolis. We waited for the call regarding the SDA approval. Our facilitator in Kiev finally called around 6 PM – bad news. The vice director was not in the office on Wednesday, so the forms were not ready.
Our initial plan had been to go to court on Thursday, head back to Kiev, and stop at the embassy on Friday. We’re pretty sure that Sue will be coming back alone to get Nastiya on the second trip, so there’s a form that I need to sign at the embassy. Now we won’t be able to do that. But our facilitator says that I can fill out that form in the US, and as long as it is notarized, we’ll still be OK. There is another form for the local authorities that I will need to get notarized and apostilled – it’s going to be an interesting week next week!
But the good news is that we are still scheduled to be home Sunday night! It has been an amazing trip, and I have really enjoyed the time here with my daughter. Now I have a son who needs some time as well It will be fantastic when both my kids are in the same house!
Sue – Wednesday, Oct 28th
Day 13 – No Early Departure…
Jeff has a great blog about yesterday! Although it’s not really a “snag”, we were just getting our hopes up that somehow we could get SDA approval in Kiev and get a court date in Mariupol one day early. But we are praying that at least we get a date for Friday early enough to leave on the 6pm flight back to Kiev.
My impression of the orphanage is very positive! The children’s areas are all very clean, very neat, and, like my Grammy used to say”... a place for everything, and everything in its place”. Anastasia was very proud and happy, showing us where her bed was (upper bunk), where her clothes go, and where the outer coats and shoes were… Each little shelf in the large “Ikea-type” cabinets were labeled with the child’s name, so they can keep their jeans, shirts, sweaters in a pile on that shelf. I think they share the shoes.
She had us take pictures of her and the women who are here caregivers. It is a warm and caring relationship; you can tell that these people truly care for these children. They were kind of silly when we met them, a combination of shy and excitedly curious.
G., from CA, guess who is in her little group? Yup, V. was in the group, and was playing nicely with another boy. He recognized us right away and came over to say hi! He is looking healthy and happy, and is also using a few English words. Jeff took pictures, so they will be going off to David to be sent – I think he sent some already, from earlier in the week. V. even looks like he has grown a bit. It’s amazing what a shining countenance one can have when one has hope and love, and he sure has one now! He is practically glowing!
As Jeff said, I have been knocked out with this stupid chest cold… in spite of taking vitamins, Airborn (vit C stuff), using hand sanitizer whenever there is no soap, getting around 8 hours sleep a night (mostly…), and trying to eat a balanced diet! So I’m peeved about that! At least, I do have the cold medicine, and I’m taking the Airborn several times a day to help chase it away. One thing I should let you know… the air in Mariupol is very, very smoggy. You can smell it when you leave in the morning, or if you open the window in the apartment. There are many, many factories here in Mariupol, and they run seven days a week. So, if anyone has allergies, asthma, or other respiratory issues, please bring your full arsenal of medicines with you! I get allergy shots weekly for three different things. I suspect that my allergies were irritated, and that opened up a pathway for whatever cold germs was flying around. And I had a bit of something that I shook right before I came, so I suspect my immune system was a little weakened. So if you have this type of tendency, like I do, bring the supplies!
While we’re on the subject, here’s what I brought: Vitamins, Airborn, Dayquil, Tylenol, Immodium, Tylenol Severe Chest Cold Stuff, Tylenol PM, Melatonin, prescription Ambien, hand sanitizer, tissues. We used the Ambien the first several nights, sometimes with the Melatonin, to try and overcome the jetlag. Otherwise, you wind up waking up at 3:00am, unable to get back to sleep. Now I am taking my cold medicine, and a melatonin, and I still woke up at 3, 4, 5am, but it was mostly my coughing and the chest cold keeping me up.
On the Ukrainian airplane coming here, there was a HUGE article about medicines here in Ukraine, and that up to 20 percent (yes, 20%) over the counter medicines on the shelves today is NOT what is labeled on it. There are big scams going on, where the pharmacies think they are buying the right thing, but whet they are getting is the “knock offs”, sometimes with nothing in it, and sometimes with “other ingredients” in it. I’d be happy to photocopy the articles, and David can forward it to the other families coming over. Antibiotics are the most faked medicine. So, just bring your own things with you.
Back to the orphanage. We enjoyed our trip upstairs, and I was very pleasantly surprised at the cheerfulness of the environment. Even the stairwells are painted with bright cheerful colors and murals of flowers, or animals. We enjoyed being able to go up, so we can make a memory book for Anastasia.
I am trying to interact with her without making her sick!! She keeps hugging me, and wanting to kiss me, but I don’t want her getting sick too. So we gave her her Halloween present – a Hannah Montana wig, and a Hannah Montana clip-on radio, with four songs, and a wire that goes to your head with a mike on it (it’s a toy). Well, this has been the biggest hit yet!! She loved wearing her Hannah wig, and had to run around showing the assistant director, the social worker, the other caregivers… We explained that it was like a “costume” for Halloween, and she understood perfectly! It was great seeing her dressed up, since it will be a year until we can celebrate Halloween with her, and everyone who knows us knows we do a BIG Halloween thing! So I got a huge thrill seeing my daughter in her first costume! And what little girl doesn’t like to “dress-up”? She was so cute! A little shy, but thrilled to be Hannah Montana.
I’m getting a little tired of the Green Room, but it was overcast, and with me so sick, I didn’t want to go outside. Jeff and Anastasia didn’t want to, either, since it looked like it could rain at any moment. The weather is now “normal”, cold and a little windy and damp and bitter. Feels normal for this region, the kind of weather I had expected originally. We had been “treated” to an Indian summer experience, and we really enjoyed it! So we had fun with her costume, she had fun showing everyone, and then we went to the … you guessed it… the green room! We brought her Uno Deluxe from back home, and she asked for another one, but the stores here do not have it. It’s a great game, because you can learn numbers and colors from each other, if you say the color and number each time you put it down (yes, I HAVE been known to be sneaky a time or two in my life…). I’m going to bring another Uno when I return, and we will definitely play this game at home. Have to think of others where you don’t need language, but can learn to count and speak some (Backgammon, Scrabble, Dominoes, Cribbage?).
Speaking of counting, I received some disappointing news. It turns out, best as I can tell, that the children here attend 1st, 2nd, 3rd grades, then they just skip 4th, and go right into 5th grade… so if your child is in 5th grade and up, just subtract one year from their grade. We tried having her do the “times” math problems, and she knew what it was, and how to do it, but could not come up with the right answer. While she knew 3x2=6, she did not know 7x3=21. We tried this for awhile, and basically, she does NOT know her multiplication tables. So I am going to get some old fashioned Flash cards, like my Mom had for me. Yes, we all hate to do it, but isn’t it nice when we memorize them, and it’s behind us.
This puts us on alert for what grade to put her in back home… she does get along with the younger children, but since she has a January birthday, she would be almost two years older than the average 4th grader. Some options would be to home school for the rest of this year, private tutors to catch her up, sticking her in the correct grade for her age, and summer school/tutors.
So we have much to think about! It is a joy to see her, but the overwhelming desire is for this chapter to be done with, and to get her home and all of us moving forward with our lives. I don’t like being away from Connor this long – I miss him so much! I have now missed all his band competitions this year!! Last year, I only missed the one last November when I went back east for my Aunt’s funeral, and one the first year for a dear friend’s wedding. I don’t like being away this long from him – we love him so much!
He is the center of our lives, him and his grades, the drumming lessons, the band competitions, the dinners at home. Oh, I really want to sit down at my own dinner table with my family again! I am missing Connor a lot!
Day 13 – Our first snag
Well, this is the day to sit on pins and needles. Our facilitator in Kiev is awaiting the final signature for the approval from SDA. Everything else is done locally – all approvals from the inspector, the orphanage, Nastiya’s relatives, etc. The appointment is set for noon on Thursday. The schedule, if all works out: attend the court hearing at noon, run over to the orphanage for the farewell party, jump into a car and drive two hours to Donets’k, and catch a 6 PM flight back to Kiev. Pretty packed afternoon with a tight schedule. So today is preparation day – if all goes well.
We started off for the orphanage at around 9:15. The plan is that we hang with Nastiya while our interpreter prepares for the farewell party. We are the hosts for the party, but she is doing all the running around to get toys, food, and other treats. But when we get to the orphanage, Nastiya has left the building – she is at the hospital getting x-rays. One of the hurdles on the second trip when we come to get her is a medical exam required by the embassy. The plan is to have all the pre-work done now, so that all we need to do is hand over the x-rays and other documents to a doctor approved by the embassy, and thereby have a half-hour appointment instead of a three hour appointment to meet the requirements.
So, since Nastiya is out, we decide to go along on running some of the errands. Poor Sue has really been hit by something. She’s talking very quietly because of the congestion in her chest, and she’s very low energy. Mostly we just sit in the car and wait.
Back to the orphanage around 11ish – Nastiya joins us, and we get the OK for her to show us around her “pod” – where she lives. She takes us down the hallway where we’ve watched her disappear each trip, up a set of stairs, and into a set of large rooms. The first room is basically a narrow hallway lined with cabinets. Everything in these rooms has a place – this room is cabinets full of outer garments: sweaters, jackets, hats and shoes. The next room is part classroom, part lounge. Half the room is set up with a couch and chairs with a TV, VCR, and DVD player. The other half is desks and tables arranged with a central teachers area.
Through another door is a bedroom. There are bunkbeds against the outer walls – I think about 4 total (8 beds) – I didn’t count accurately. The center of the room consists of very small beds in rows – another group of about 8. They looked like doll beds to our eyes – the smaller children are not given full size beds. It makes sense, given the surroundings and amount of space available for all these children.
The lunchtime visit went about the same as before. Anastasia is getting more comfortable with us, and she’s trying more English as we spend time with her. Obviously it’s still just a smattering – about the same as our Russian. But the communication level is still high – she tries English, we try Russian, and we meet in the middle with non-verbal! Though she did out-stubborn me when I tried to get her to speak English later in the visit.
We also were surprised by another visit from Nastiya’s brother. He showed up about halfway through our visit. Sue gave him some envelopes so that he could write to his sister, and he even sat down and played Uno with us for a while. It was fun watching Nastiya teach her big tough 15-year old brother how to play Uno. He had a good time with it and enjoyed sticking me with a +4 every bit as much as his sister did!
When we left, Sue was still under the weather, so we stopped at the store and got some pork to cook lunch/dinner at home. Our interpreter showed up with chocolate treats again – looked like tiny little chocolate ice cream cones, but they were closer to chocolate covered cannolis. We waited for the call regarding the SDA approval. Our facilitator in Kiev finally called around 6 PM – bad news. The vice director was not in the office on Wednesday, so the forms were not ready.
Our initial plan had been to go to court on Thursday, head back to Kiev, and stop at the embassy on Friday. We’re pretty sure that Sue will be coming back alone to get Nastiya on the second trip, so there’s a form that I need to sign at the embassy. Now we won’t be able to do that. But our facilitator says that I can fill out that form in the US, and as long as it is notarized, we’ll still be OK. There is another form for the local authorities that I will need to get notarized and apostilled – it’s going to be an interesting week next week!
But the good news is that we are still scheduled to be home Sunday night! It has been an amazing trip, and I have really enjoyed the time here with my daughter. Now I have a son who needs some time as well It will be fantastic when both my kids are in the same house!
Sue – Wednesday, Oct 28th
Day 13 – No Early Departure…
Jeff has a great blog about yesterday! Although it’s not really a “snag”, we were just getting our hopes up that somehow we could get SDA approval in Kiev and get a court date in Mariupol one day early. But we are praying that at least we get a date for Friday early enough to leave on the 6pm flight back to Kiev.
My impression of the orphanage is very positive! The children’s areas are all very clean, very neat, and, like my Grammy used to say”... a place for everything, and everything in its place”. Anastasia was very proud and happy, showing us where her bed was (upper bunk), where her clothes go, and where the outer coats and shoes were… Each little shelf in the large “Ikea-type” cabinets were labeled with the child’s name, so they can keep their jeans, shirts, sweaters in a pile on that shelf. I think they share the shoes.
She had us take pictures of her and the women who are here caregivers. It is a warm and caring relationship; you can tell that these people truly care for these children. They were kind of silly when we met them, a combination of shy and excitedly curious.
G., from CA, guess who is in her little group? Yup, V. was in the group, and was playing nicely with another boy. He recognized us right away and came over to say hi! He is looking healthy and happy, and is also using a few English words. Jeff took pictures, so they will be going off to David to be sent – I think he sent some already, from earlier in the week. V. even looks like he has grown a bit. It’s amazing what a shining countenance one can have when one has hope and love, and he sure has one now! He is practically glowing!
As Jeff said, I have been knocked out with this stupid chest cold… in spite of taking vitamins, Airborn (vit C stuff), using hand sanitizer whenever there is no soap, getting around 8 hours sleep a night (mostly…), and trying to eat a balanced diet! So I’m peeved about that! At least, I do have the cold medicine, and I’m taking the Airborn several times a day to help chase it away. One thing I should let you know… the air in Mariupol is very, very smoggy. You can smell it when you leave in the morning, or if you open the window in the apartment. There are many, many factories here in Mariupol, and they run seven days a week. So, if anyone has allergies, asthma, or other respiratory issues, please bring your full arsenal of medicines with you! I get allergy shots weekly for three different things. I suspect that my allergies were irritated, and that opened up a pathway for whatever cold germs was flying around. And I had a bit of something that I shook right before I came, so I suspect my immune system was a little weakened. So if you have this type of tendency, like I do, bring the supplies!
While we’re on the subject, here’s what I brought: Vitamins, Airborn, Dayquil, Tylenol, Immodium, Tylenol Severe Chest Cold Stuff, Tylenol PM, Melatonin, prescription Ambien, hand sanitizer, tissues. We used the Ambien the first several nights, sometimes with the Melatonin, to try and overcome the jetlag. Otherwise, you wind up waking up at 3:00am, unable to get back to sleep. Now I am taking my cold medicine, and a melatonin, and I still woke up at 3, 4, 5am, but it was mostly my coughing and the chest cold keeping me up.
On the Ukrainian airplane coming here, there was a HUGE article about medicines here in Ukraine, and that up to 20 percent (yes, 20%) over the counter medicines on the shelves today is NOT what is labeled on it. There are big scams going on, where the pharmacies think they are buying the right thing, but whet they are getting is the “knock offs”, sometimes with nothing in it, and sometimes with “other ingredients” in it. I’d be happy to photocopy the articles, and David can forward it to the other families coming over. Antibiotics are the most faked medicine. So, just bring your own things with you.
Back to the orphanage. We enjoyed our trip upstairs, and I was very pleasantly surprised at the cheerfulness of the environment. Even the stairwells are painted with bright cheerful colors and murals of flowers, or animals. We enjoyed being able to go up, so we can make a memory book for Anastasia.
I am trying to interact with her without making her sick!! She keeps hugging me, and wanting to kiss me, but I don’t want her getting sick too. So we gave her her Halloween present – a Hannah Montana wig, and a Hannah Montana clip-on radio, with four songs, and a wire that goes to your head with a mike on it (it’s a toy). Well, this has been the biggest hit yet!! She loved wearing her Hannah wig, and had to run around showing the assistant director, the social worker, the other caregivers… We explained that it was like a “costume” for Halloween, and she understood perfectly! It was great seeing her dressed up, since it will be a year until we can celebrate Halloween with her, and everyone who knows us knows we do a BIG Halloween thing! So I got a huge thrill seeing my daughter in her first costume! And what little girl doesn’t like to “dress-up”? She was so cute! A little shy, but thrilled to be Hannah Montana.
I’m getting a little tired of the Green Room, but it was overcast, and with me so sick, I didn’t want to go outside. Jeff and Anastasia didn’t want to, either, since it looked like it could rain at any moment. The weather is now “normal”, cold and a little windy and damp and bitter. Feels normal for this region, the kind of weather I had expected originally. We had been “treated” to an Indian summer experience, and we really enjoyed it! So we had fun with her costume, she had fun showing everyone, and then we went to the … you guessed it… the green room! We brought her Uno Deluxe from back home, and she asked for another one, but the stores here do not have it. It’s a great game, because you can learn numbers and colors from each other, if you say the color and number each time you put it down (yes, I HAVE been known to be sneaky a time or two in my life…). I’m going to bring another Uno when I return, and we will definitely play this game at home. Have to think of others where you don’t need language, but can learn to count and speak some (Backgammon, Scrabble, Dominoes, Cribbage?).
Speaking of counting, I received some disappointing news. It turns out, best as I can tell, that the children here attend 1st, 2nd, 3rd grades, then they just skip 4th, and go right into 5th grade… so if your child is in 5th grade and up, just subtract one year from their grade. We tried having her do the “times” math problems, and she knew what it was, and how to do it, but could not come up with the right answer. While she knew 3x2=6, she did not know 7x3=21. We tried this for awhile, and basically, she does NOT know her multiplication tables. So I am going to get some old fashioned Flash cards, like my Mom had for me. Yes, we all hate to do it, but isn’t it nice when we memorize them, and it’s behind us.
This puts us on alert for what grade to put her in back home… she does get along with the younger children, but since she has a January birthday, she would be almost two years older than the average 4th grader. Some options would be to home school for the rest of this year, private tutors to catch her up, sticking her in the correct grade for her age, and summer school/tutors.
So we have much to think about! It is a joy to see her, but the overwhelming desire is for this chapter to be done with, and to get her home and all of us moving forward with our lives. I don’t like being away from Connor this long – I miss him so much! I have now missed all his band competitions this year!! Last year, I only missed the one last November when I went back east for my Aunt’s funeral, and one the first year for a dear friend’s wedding. I don’t like being away this long from him – we love him so much!
He is the center of our lives, him and his grades, the drumming lessons, the band competitions, the dinners at home. Oh, I really want to sit down at my own dinner table with my family again! I am missing Connor a lot!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sue and Jeff: Day 12 – Time with Anastasia
Sue – Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day 12 – Time with Anastasia
We came to the orphanage for many hours today! (Okay, I just went back and re-read the first line… I have been over here too long, when I start talking like that! Jeff and I just got a good laugh out of that.)
We go there around 10:00, and though it was bright and sunny, it was still kind of bitter, so we stayed inside until around 11:30. We gave our little daily gifts (we bring a small baggie of candy, and some sort of gift each day). Today we brought a small bracelet, wrapped, and a large bouncy ball we got from the States, and deflated before bringing. The boys like soccer balls, but I thought about how much I loved playing with the large, red bouncy ball when I was in elementary school, so we brought one of those and a smaller purple bouncy ball which we gave on a previous day. We deflated them, to fit in the suitcase, and then I brought along a hand-inflator, which I bought at Big-5.
First she didn’t seem to want the bouncy ball, but when we went outside, she really got into it. She ran up and down the little hills, and then showed us ALL (and I mean every single piece) of playground equipment. Of course, there was an obligatory picture on top of every single one.
Note to parents coming over – bring a LOT of various size plastic bags; we’ve used them to keep purchases safe in the suitcase (in case of rain… yes, on one trip I retrieved my luggage from baggage claim soaked with all wet stuff inside due to it being on the bottom of the luggage carts in a pouring rainstorm).
We use the smaller baggies to load up some Halloween candy each day to take to the orphanage. She eats some, and then takes the baggie upstairs to share with her friends.
We have used them to keep food in the fridge… yes, there was plastic wrap in Kiev, but I didn’t notice it until the 3rd day! I use them in my purse to organize vitamins, cold medicine, etc.
I also want to advise parents to pack one or two partial rolls of toilet paper with them in their purse… some restaurants/venues have toilet paper, and others DO NOT!!
Some places have the ceramic “holes in the floor”, for lack of a better term…. And others have nice toilets with toilet paper and hand soap. We saw those “holes in the floor” in Cambodia, too, so we were familiar with them. I’ve been wearing slacks this whole trip, but if you want to wear dresses and pantyhose… well, you are on your own – I wouldn’t have a clue how to navigate that procedure with pantyhose… so good luck!
When we arrived in Mariupol, the apartment is lovely, but there was no toilet paper! So buy some when you get groceries! No tissues, either, so that would be nice to have in your purse as well.
So on Tuesday, I was already getting sick. Once in awhile, while we are waiting in the anteroom for Anastasia to come down, we see a group, or 2-3 kids going by on errands… we seem to see O. a LOT! I think she knows when we are there, and makes sure she has some sort of “business’ to do that brings her by our way. She always has a big smile, hello, and a big hug for me!! She is such a doll! That girl could bring sunshine to Alaska in the winter!! She gave us a small package for R., K., & S… she is such a caring individual… you can see it in how she interacts with her friends here, especially the younger ones! She simply bursts into smiles and hugs each and every time her path crosses ours!
Jeff:
I have received two emails in the last two days that have really made me think about what a special time this is for us. We’re kind of outside the normal world in a little cocoon here. None of the normal responsibilities – not even the ability to really keep up with the real world. We’re here for one thing – spending time with our daughter, and getting the paperwork done to bring her home! One of the emails I mentioned was from a mom who will be following in our footsteps very soon. All I can say is: be prepared to enjoy this very special time with your child – soon you will be back in the day to day!
We left the orphanage around 2ish, ran a couple errands, and then went for lunch. Our translator always seems to have one more document, or one more item of preparation for the party that we will throw at the orphanage after the court appointment. So we stopped at a couple places to do something vague – we never quite get clear on what she’s up to, and then we went to this really cool restaurant that was very European, and yet somewhat kitchy – tables outside, a little river running through the enclosed courtyard, fake trees inside. We really enjoyed it – all of us chose to have soup since Sue started the trend. My sweetie always goes for soup when she’s not feeling well.
The rest of the evening, we just hung out and talked about what’s next. Later, our interpreter did cook dinner again – she is terrific! It was the remainder of the chick, but prepared completely differently; same salad and left-over “porridge”. Sue went with ramen – more soup for my sick wife We discussed the plans – to get the papers from SDA on Wednesday, court date on Thursday. We will have our fingers crossed all day on Wednesday. As I am writing this Wednesday night – we do know the outcome of the paperwork for Wednesday – but you who are reading this real time will need to wait for our next blog…
OK – I can’t do it to you – we are delayed a day due to paperwork: more on that when we write about today – probably first thing tomorrow morning our time, as our interpreter needs to run some errands on her own.
Key point for those following us to Ukraine: be sure to use the local cell phone, and be sure to dial “0001” before the phone number! I made the mistake of using the “+1” on my cell phone. Works in any country. However, using “+1” cost me about $50 for 15 minutes. Using the “0001” (THREE ZEROES!) cost me about $2 for 5 minutes. I wish I had understood the emphasis the translator had put on this the first time she told me!
Day 12 – Time with Anastasia
We came to the orphanage for many hours today! (Okay, I just went back and re-read the first line… I have been over here too long, when I start talking like that! Jeff and I just got a good laugh out of that.)
We go there around 10:00, and though it was bright and sunny, it was still kind of bitter, so we stayed inside until around 11:30. We gave our little daily gifts (we bring a small baggie of candy, and some sort of gift each day). Today we brought a small bracelet, wrapped, and a large bouncy ball we got from the States, and deflated before bringing. The boys like soccer balls, but I thought about how much I loved playing with the large, red bouncy ball when I was in elementary school, so we brought one of those and a smaller purple bouncy ball which we gave on a previous day. We deflated them, to fit in the suitcase, and then I brought along a hand-inflator, which I bought at Big-5.
First she didn’t seem to want the bouncy ball, but when we went outside, she really got into it. She ran up and down the little hills, and then showed us ALL (and I mean every single piece) of playground equipment. Of course, there was an obligatory picture on top of every single one.
Note to parents coming over – bring a LOT of various size plastic bags; we’ve used them to keep purchases safe in the suitcase (in case of rain… yes, on one trip I retrieved my luggage from baggage claim soaked with all wet stuff inside due to it being on the bottom of the luggage carts in a pouring rainstorm).
We use the smaller baggies to load up some Halloween candy each day to take to the orphanage. She eats some, and then takes the baggie upstairs to share with her friends.
We have used them to keep food in the fridge… yes, there was plastic wrap in Kiev, but I didn’t notice it until the 3rd day! I use them in my purse to organize vitamins, cold medicine, etc.
I also want to advise parents to pack one or two partial rolls of toilet paper with them in their purse… some restaurants/venues have toilet paper, and others DO NOT!!
Some places have the ceramic “holes in the floor”, for lack of a better term…. And others have nice toilets with toilet paper and hand soap. We saw those “holes in the floor” in Cambodia, too, so we were familiar with them. I’ve been wearing slacks this whole trip, but if you want to wear dresses and pantyhose… well, you are on your own – I wouldn’t have a clue how to navigate that procedure with pantyhose… so good luck!
When we arrived in Mariupol, the apartment is lovely, but there was no toilet paper! So buy some when you get groceries! No tissues, either, so that would be nice to have in your purse as well.
So on Tuesday, I was already getting sick. Once in awhile, while we are waiting in the anteroom for Anastasia to come down, we see a group, or 2-3 kids going by on errands… we seem to see O. a LOT! I think she knows when we are there, and makes sure she has some sort of “business’ to do that brings her by our way. She always has a big smile, hello, and a big hug for me!! She is such a doll! That girl could bring sunshine to Alaska in the winter!! She gave us a small package for R., K., & S… she is such a caring individual… you can see it in how she interacts with her friends here, especially the younger ones! She simply bursts into smiles and hugs each and every time her path crosses ours!
Jeff:
I have received two emails in the last two days that have really made me think about what a special time this is for us. We’re kind of outside the normal world in a little cocoon here. None of the normal responsibilities – not even the ability to really keep up with the real world. We’re here for one thing – spending time with our daughter, and getting the paperwork done to bring her home! One of the emails I mentioned was from a mom who will be following in our footsteps very soon. All I can say is: be prepared to enjoy this very special time with your child – soon you will be back in the day to day!
We left the orphanage around 2ish, ran a couple errands, and then went for lunch. Our translator always seems to have one more document, or one more item of preparation for the party that we will throw at the orphanage after the court appointment. So we stopped at a couple places to do something vague – we never quite get clear on what she’s up to, and then we went to this really cool restaurant that was very European, and yet somewhat kitchy – tables outside, a little river running through the enclosed courtyard, fake trees inside. We really enjoyed it – all of us chose to have soup since Sue started the trend. My sweetie always goes for soup when she’s not feeling well.
The rest of the evening, we just hung out and talked about what’s next. Later, our interpreter did cook dinner again – she is terrific! It was the remainder of the chick, but prepared completely differently; same salad and left-over “porridge”. Sue went with ramen – more soup for my sick wife We discussed the plans – to get the papers from SDA on Wednesday, court date on Thursday. We will have our fingers crossed all day on Wednesday. As I am writing this Wednesday night – we do know the outcome of the paperwork for Wednesday – but you who are reading this real time will need to wait for our next blog…
OK – I can’t do it to you – we are delayed a day due to paperwork: more on that when we write about today – probably first thing tomorrow morning our time, as our interpreter needs to run some errands on her own.
Key point for those following us to Ukraine: be sure to use the local cell phone, and be sure to dial “0001” before the phone number! I made the mistake of using the “+1” on my cell phone. Works in any country. However, using “+1” cost me about $50 for 15 minutes. Using the “0001” (THREE ZEROES!) cost me about $2 for 5 minutes. I wish I had understood the emphasis the translator had put on this the first time she told me!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Jeff and Sue - Day 11 – Finally – a slow day!
Jeff – Monday, October 26, 2009
Day 11 – Finally – a slow day!
Sue and I have been joking with each other – we have read previous blogs about downtime and boredom – we must be doing something wrong! We brought along a number of books and DVD’s to fill the excess time – we have barely finished two DVD’s of reruns of a series we are watching again. Our interpreter has kept us quite busy, and trust me – this blog has filled a fair amount of the other free time! We’ve really enjoyed doing this, both for our own benefit and for the benefit of some of the people we have heard from. It is a real honor to be able to give some feedback and stories from the orphanage to other parents who still have a child there. Sue has stated repeatedly that we feel that Nastiya is our child that just happened to be born 7000 miles away from us – I know others feel the same way.
As for the time – I think being able to snatch Nastiya from the orphanage for almost an entire day also was a bonus that not everybody has been able to share. Or maybe our interpreter has just figured out that no good can come of leaving us to our own devices – she knows us too well already! We had a good laugh last night: our interpreter was joking about how Sue will go up and talk to anybody. I asked her, “Where do you think Nastiya gets it from?” She got it
So Monday: we did finally get a chance to sleep in. I can’t, but Susie did sleep almost until our interpreter left for the morning. Then we had breakfast, read the bible, read a meditation together, and slowly got ready for the day.
Our interpreter came back around 11:30, and we went for a stroll. Some pictures will be posted in the sidebar. The first stop was a pet shop. Sue wanted to take a cuttle bone and a treat for the parrot at the orphanage. The pet shop is on the ground floor of the same building as the apartment.
We then walked through a nice central park that we have driven past almost every day. It’s about three blocks from the apartment. Once through the park, we walked another two blocks, and we were at the pizza joint we’ve been to several times. You know how when you’re a passenger you don’t really pay attention to the direction? Shoot – the pizza joint is 5 blocks away, the money exchange place was at the end of the block, turn the corner and you’re at the internet café we first visited. Six blocks and we saw everything on the central street that we’d visited! OK –I exaggerate – the toy store, phone store, and radio store were a few more blocks away.
For lunch, our interpreter hailed a cab and took us to a “BBQ”. This really refers to cooking meat over fire – same as our back yard BBQ’s. The meat was excellent. We had two different kinds of pork, but the menu also included sausage, liver, chicken, and fish. The restaurant was quite nice - decorated with boar’s heads on the wall.
The BBQ was two blocks from the orphanage. It was right across the street from the school that Nastiya goes to, which is catty-corner from the orphanage. The orphanage is actually tucked down into a courtyard created by an L-shaped arrangement of large apartment buildings, so we had to walk down the alley/driveway between the buildings to get there, but you can see the school and the orphanage from the entrance to the driveway.
So here we are again in The Green Room. We waited for a few minutes for Anastasia. Since she has chosen the American version, when she came, we said “Previet, Nastiya; Hello Anastasia!” This got a big smile from her.
First thing we did was give the bird his new treats. The cage is in the anteroom to The Green Room, so Nastiya and Sue went out there to give him his treats. When we went into The Green Room, we could hear the bird calling to us. He starts with a gentle whistle, which escalates into a much noisier “request” that you come back and play with him. We would call back to him. I couldn’t help it – I whistled back to him a couple times. Not allowed in Ukraine – don’t whistle indoors!
We had just a great time – doing puzzles, practicing English, butchering pa-rooskie, having Nastiya correct us. We had a good laugh over making a human antenna to try to get a better signal for the radio. The time just disappeared, and suddenly the security guard was telling us it was time to go.
After that huge lunch, we had snacks for dinner. Cheese and salami for me, dates and cookies for everybody (some Ukrainian cookies our interpreter bought – walnut-shaped cookies filled with Nutella).
Sue – Day 11 – Mariupol
Sue here… just a quick note (is it possible???)
I am feeling a little under the weather. Sunday night, I awoke at 4:00am with a choking/scratchy feeling in my throat, and was coughing. I’m not sure if I am getting a cold (I’ve been so very careful to wash hands, use hand sanitizer, and to take my vitamins!), or having an allergic reaction. (I get allergy shots weekly at home…) By Monday evening, my throat is just killing me! I know you can smell the factory smoke everywhere here in Mariupol, it is in the air like burning leaves or something. So I don’t know if I am getting sick, or just reacting to the air, or the cold, or what. I will keep taking vitamins, and see how things develop. I sure did bring the supplies; cold medicine, Tylenol, etc., so if I am sick, I will simply take cold medicine and keep on chugging.
By the way, the weather turned on a dime. One day it was like springtime, and the next day it was downright bitter. I mean hat and gloves kind of autumn chill. You are near the Azov Sea, so the cold damp air feels even more chilly. I am definitely bringing my (skiing) light-weight long johns to wear under my slacks in November!! Brrrrrrr!
Day 11 – Finally – a slow day!
Sue and I have been joking with each other – we have read previous blogs about downtime and boredom – we must be doing something wrong! We brought along a number of books and DVD’s to fill the excess time – we have barely finished two DVD’s of reruns of a series we are watching again. Our interpreter has kept us quite busy, and trust me – this blog has filled a fair amount of the other free time! We’ve really enjoyed doing this, both for our own benefit and for the benefit of some of the people we have heard from. It is a real honor to be able to give some feedback and stories from the orphanage to other parents who still have a child there. Sue has stated repeatedly that we feel that Nastiya is our child that just happened to be born 7000 miles away from us – I know others feel the same way.
As for the time – I think being able to snatch Nastiya from the orphanage for almost an entire day also was a bonus that not everybody has been able to share. Or maybe our interpreter has just figured out that no good can come of leaving us to our own devices – she knows us too well already! We had a good laugh last night: our interpreter was joking about how Sue will go up and talk to anybody. I asked her, “Where do you think Nastiya gets it from?” She got it
So Monday: we did finally get a chance to sleep in. I can’t, but Susie did sleep almost until our interpreter left for the morning. Then we had breakfast, read the bible, read a meditation together, and slowly got ready for the day.
Our interpreter came back around 11:30, and we went for a stroll. Some pictures will be posted in the sidebar. The first stop was a pet shop. Sue wanted to take a cuttle bone and a treat for the parrot at the orphanage. The pet shop is on the ground floor of the same building as the apartment.
We then walked through a nice central park that we have driven past almost every day. It’s about three blocks from the apartment. Once through the park, we walked another two blocks, and we were at the pizza joint we’ve been to several times. You know how when you’re a passenger you don’t really pay attention to the direction? Shoot – the pizza joint is 5 blocks away, the money exchange place was at the end of the block, turn the corner and you’re at the internet café we first visited. Six blocks and we saw everything on the central street that we’d visited! OK –I exaggerate – the toy store, phone store, and radio store were a few more blocks away.
For lunch, our interpreter hailed a cab and took us to a “BBQ”. This really refers to cooking meat over fire – same as our back yard BBQ’s. The meat was excellent. We had two different kinds of pork, but the menu also included sausage, liver, chicken, and fish. The restaurant was quite nice - decorated with boar’s heads on the wall.
The BBQ was two blocks from the orphanage. It was right across the street from the school that Nastiya goes to, which is catty-corner from the orphanage. The orphanage is actually tucked down into a courtyard created by an L-shaped arrangement of large apartment buildings, so we had to walk down the alley/driveway between the buildings to get there, but you can see the school and the orphanage from the entrance to the driveway.
So here we are again in The Green Room. We waited for a few minutes for Anastasia. Since she has chosen the American version, when she came, we said “Previet, Nastiya; Hello Anastasia!” This got a big smile from her.
First thing we did was give the bird his new treats. The cage is in the anteroom to The Green Room, so Nastiya and Sue went out there to give him his treats. When we went into The Green Room, we could hear the bird calling to us. He starts with a gentle whistle, which escalates into a much noisier “request” that you come back and play with him. We would call back to him. I couldn’t help it – I whistled back to him a couple times. Not allowed in Ukraine – don’t whistle indoors!
We had just a great time – doing puzzles, practicing English, butchering pa-rooskie, having Nastiya correct us. We had a good laugh over making a human antenna to try to get a better signal for the radio. The time just disappeared, and suddenly the security guard was telling us it was time to go.
After that huge lunch, we had snacks for dinner. Cheese and salami for me, dates and cookies for everybody (some Ukrainian cookies our interpreter bought – walnut-shaped cookies filled with Nutella).
Sue – Day 11 – Mariupol
Sue here… just a quick note (is it possible???)
I am feeling a little under the weather. Sunday night, I awoke at 4:00am with a choking/scratchy feeling in my throat, and was coughing. I’m not sure if I am getting a cold (I’ve been so very careful to wash hands, use hand sanitizer, and to take my vitamins!), or having an allergic reaction. (I get allergy shots weekly at home…) By Monday evening, my throat is just killing me! I know you can smell the factory smoke everywhere here in Mariupol, it is in the air like burning leaves or something. So I don’t know if I am getting sick, or just reacting to the air, or the cold, or what. I will keep taking vitamins, and see how things develop. I sure did bring the supplies; cold medicine, Tylenol, etc., so if I am sick, I will simply take cold medicine and keep on chugging.
By the way, the weather turned on a dime. One day it was like springtime, and the next day it was downright bitter. I mean hat and gloves kind of autumn chill. You are near the Azov Sea, so the cold damp air feels even more chilly. I am definitely bringing my (skiing) light-weight long johns to wear under my slacks in November!! Brrrrrrr!
Sue and Jeff - Day 10 – Tour of Mariupol
Sue – Sunday, October 25, 2009
Day 10 – Tour of Mariupol
Today we got up around 8:00 am and headed out around 10:00 to go to a local museum – not far form our apartment. It has the history of Ukraine, form the Mesozoic era until after WWII. There is first a map of Ukraine, with the various regions, then the various mining regions. Ukraine is a big mining country, everywhere. There were maps and samples of stone showing where each type of stone is quarried. Then there wer many fossils form Ukraine, and maps showing where it was form and how many million years ago it was from. Then the Mammoth (NOT Wooly Mammoth – just a mammoth) fossils and pictures; another room had all the wildlife of Ukraine – stuffed mammals, birds, and reptiles; another room had the civilization and migration paths, plus artifacts of early primitive man in Ukraine; another room had the civilization coming through the ages until you get to WWII (The Great Patriotic War).
A great turning point in Ukrainian history was the Great Revolution, 1917. It was when the people revolted against the Czar (the King), and decided NOT to have royalty rule the people, but let all things be for the people – COMMUNISM. It was not until 1991 that they split from Soviet Union, so there is still political discourse on these subjects. You see a lot of tributes to the Great Revolution of 1917, and you see monuments to the Great patriotic War (WWII). So seeing a totally different country’s take on WWII, the Great Depression (in which many, many Ukrainian people died from starvation – Soviet Union would take their food and starve entire villages), and the “Great Revolution” (where people took over their country – the Communist revolution), was very enlightening. It’s a good museum – I truly enjoyed it. Also, in the same building, but for additional entry fee, is a one room wax museum; we took pictures of us with Arnold Schwarzenager, Brad Pitt, Chuck Norris, Beethoven…. Just one room, I could skip this part, but DO go to the museum if you get a chance!
We drove up to the Great Patriotic War memorial and statue honoring all those who died in WWII. The statue had wings, was holding an Olive branch in his right ourstretched hand, and had a machine gun strapped to his left leg… HUH?? But you know war memorials… then off to the top of the “mountain” to overlook the Azov Sea – great views, sunny day… ahhh…. Beautiful!!!
The little village we drove through at the top is called ”Sailor’s Village”; cute little single-family homes. The architecture here is different – they would be more like “cottages”, with those metal corrugated roofs (with ridges) we use at home on sheds. I think it helps to prevent water damage and makes the snow melt off instead of caving in your roof. Makes sense – they are kind of like Tahoe roofs, the very deep snow that they get here will slid eoff before caving in your house. Of course, the large office and apartment buildings in town are built a little differently and look much the same as at home.
We then drove down to the beach. It was a terrific beach; I can only imagine all the people from Mariupol and surrounding areas coming to the beach in the summer, and how crowded it must get. There was a very stylish elegant restaurant right there on the beach, so we went in and had “American Coffee”, which is NOT espresso, but rather a small cup of coffee that is like instant coffee mixed with cream/or milk – quite tasty, but very small cups! I would love to rent one of the many cottages by the sea here.
The only odd thing is that the whole Mariupol area is very, very industrial. My throat is now bothering me… allergies, or the industrial air, I don’t know. The entire sea coast is 90% industrial… seaports, industry, shipyards, docks, factories, and so forth. The :beach area” for people is right next tot the industrial area. People are off in small boats on a Sunday, fishing, and running with their dogs, or just BBQing with their children. The end of autumn, the final throes of summer desires, played out on this little beach. I could feel it, too, this desire to be on the beach, to pick up shells, to grill my last piece of chicken until next spring/summer. Winter is very, very near. But for now, we are on the beach, looking at the small waves, picking up tiny seashells, wishing it were summer again.
We arrived at the orphanage, and Anastasia was ready for us – she was waiting all day!! A little peeved; she was worried! We had spent the entire day with her the day before, but that was a special treat; younger children will not be let out like that, and I don’t think everyone even her age gets to go out like that. So we played with the Snow White puzzle, and we really gave it our best shot, but were unable to finish it! I read somewhere that children doing puzzles stimulates a part of their brain that helps them with… math?.... language skills?... I can’t remember….okay, maybe I didn’t do enough puzzles when I was younger!
Each day, we bring her a little gift or two. Always some sort of treat… these little round cracker things, cookies, candy, a small gift, like a puzzle, or a bouncy ball, or a small jewelry trinket… so each day, she always had something to take back up to her “group” to share. The BIGGEST hit so far (besides the radio, which we now get to hear EVERY SINGLE VISIT – note to parents; give the radio on your LAST day!), is the little “glow in the dark” bracelets. They come 12 to a tube, and I brought four tubes. She shares them with her group, and she told us that everyone loves them at night. You can connect them into a necklace, or keep them as bracelets, but the second day, when I pulled out another tube of 12 bracelets, she jumped up and down and was very, very excited. She is rather blasé about the candy, but quickly puts it into the bag she is taking “upstairs” so she can share it. I like that about her. Even if you give her something she really, really likes, she will break off a piece and offer it to you. For a kid that hasn’t had much in life, it is a good trait to have, and we want to foster that even more with her.
Jeff took lots of pictures. We want to make a photo book of Mariupol, since this is the town in which she was born.
Jeff:
Not much too add – Susie did a really nice job. The visit to the orphanage was funny because of Nastiya’s attitude. When we got there, she was very reserved, even though we came bearing gifts – and ice cream! But when she started talking to the interpreter, it became clear that she was miffed because we had arrived so late in the day, and she had been worried – either that we had been hurt or just that we weren’t coming to spend time with her, I didn’t catch, but either way it really touched me. She’s so committed to this, and I think she got a little spooked. I am so looking forward to talking to her once she speaks English!
Dinner was a real pleasure. Our interpreter offered to make a Ukrainian dinner for us. We stopped at the supermarket, and she got all the fixings. The meat was a chicken dish: she chopped the chicken into chunks and rubbed it with a Ukrainian spice. She sautéed this in safflower oil with onions and cheese. She also made salad (tomatoes, onion, and parsley in an olive oil – we didn’t have vinegar), and “porridge”. The porridge was whole grain buckwheat simmered like rice. For dinner we had it with butter, salt and pepper. We had it for breakfast on Monday with milk and sugar, as instructed. I was really surprised – it was very good. The crowning touch was a treat that our interpreter had bought when we weren’t with her: caviar! We had fresh bread, thinly sliced and lathered with butter, topped with caviar. It was very tasty. We learned that this was a standard food for a celebration – birthdays especially.
Day 10 – Tour of Mariupol
Today we got up around 8:00 am and headed out around 10:00 to go to a local museum – not far form our apartment. It has the history of Ukraine, form the Mesozoic era until after WWII. There is first a map of Ukraine, with the various regions, then the various mining regions. Ukraine is a big mining country, everywhere. There were maps and samples of stone showing where each type of stone is quarried. Then there wer many fossils form Ukraine, and maps showing where it was form and how many million years ago it was from. Then the Mammoth (NOT Wooly Mammoth – just a mammoth) fossils and pictures; another room had all the wildlife of Ukraine – stuffed mammals, birds, and reptiles; another room had the civilization and migration paths, plus artifacts of early primitive man in Ukraine; another room had the civilization coming through the ages until you get to WWII (The Great Patriotic War).
A great turning point in Ukrainian history was the Great Revolution, 1917. It was when the people revolted against the Czar (the King), and decided NOT to have royalty rule the people, but let all things be for the people – COMMUNISM. It was not until 1991 that they split from Soviet Union, so there is still political discourse on these subjects. You see a lot of tributes to the Great Revolution of 1917, and you see monuments to the Great patriotic War (WWII). So seeing a totally different country’s take on WWII, the Great Depression (in which many, many Ukrainian people died from starvation – Soviet Union would take their food and starve entire villages), and the “Great Revolution” (where people took over their country – the Communist revolution), was very enlightening. It’s a good museum – I truly enjoyed it. Also, in the same building, but for additional entry fee, is a one room wax museum; we took pictures of us with Arnold Schwarzenager, Brad Pitt, Chuck Norris, Beethoven…. Just one room, I could skip this part, but DO go to the museum if you get a chance!
We drove up to the Great Patriotic War memorial and statue honoring all those who died in WWII. The statue had wings, was holding an Olive branch in his right ourstretched hand, and had a machine gun strapped to his left leg… HUH?? But you know war memorials… then off to the top of the “mountain” to overlook the Azov Sea – great views, sunny day… ahhh…. Beautiful!!!
The little village we drove through at the top is called ”Sailor’s Village”; cute little single-family homes. The architecture here is different – they would be more like “cottages”, with those metal corrugated roofs (with ridges) we use at home on sheds. I think it helps to prevent water damage and makes the snow melt off instead of caving in your roof. Makes sense – they are kind of like Tahoe roofs, the very deep snow that they get here will slid eoff before caving in your house. Of course, the large office and apartment buildings in town are built a little differently and look much the same as at home.
We then drove down to the beach. It was a terrific beach; I can only imagine all the people from Mariupol and surrounding areas coming to the beach in the summer, and how crowded it must get. There was a very stylish elegant restaurant right there on the beach, so we went in and had “American Coffee”, which is NOT espresso, but rather a small cup of coffee that is like instant coffee mixed with cream/or milk – quite tasty, but very small cups! I would love to rent one of the many cottages by the sea here.
The only odd thing is that the whole Mariupol area is very, very industrial. My throat is now bothering me… allergies, or the industrial air, I don’t know. The entire sea coast is 90% industrial… seaports, industry, shipyards, docks, factories, and so forth. The :beach area” for people is right next tot the industrial area. People are off in small boats on a Sunday, fishing, and running with their dogs, or just BBQing with their children. The end of autumn, the final throes of summer desires, played out on this little beach. I could feel it, too, this desire to be on the beach, to pick up shells, to grill my last piece of chicken until next spring/summer. Winter is very, very near. But for now, we are on the beach, looking at the small waves, picking up tiny seashells, wishing it were summer again.
We arrived at the orphanage, and Anastasia was ready for us – she was waiting all day!! A little peeved; she was worried! We had spent the entire day with her the day before, but that was a special treat; younger children will not be let out like that, and I don’t think everyone even her age gets to go out like that. So we played with the Snow White puzzle, and we really gave it our best shot, but were unable to finish it! I read somewhere that children doing puzzles stimulates a part of their brain that helps them with… math?.... language skills?... I can’t remember….okay, maybe I didn’t do enough puzzles when I was younger!
Each day, we bring her a little gift or two. Always some sort of treat… these little round cracker things, cookies, candy, a small gift, like a puzzle, or a bouncy ball, or a small jewelry trinket… so each day, she always had something to take back up to her “group” to share. The BIGGEST hit so far (besides the radio, which we now get to hear EVERY SINGLE VISIT – note to parents; give the radio on your LAST day!), is the little “glow in the dark” bracelets. They come 12 to a tube, and I brought four tubes. She shares them with her group, and she told us that everyone loves them at night. You can connect them into a necklace, or keep them as bracelets, but the second day, when I pulled out another tube of 12 bracelets, she jumped up and down and was very, very excited. She is rather blasé about the candy, but quickly puts it into the bag she is taking “upstairs” so she can share it. I like that about her. Even if you give her something she really, really likes, she will break off a piece and offer it to you. For a kid that hasn’t had much in life, it is a good trait to have, and we want to foster that even more with her.
Jeff took lots of pictures. We want to make a photo book of Mariupol, since this is the town in which she was born.
Jeff:
Not much too add – Susie did a really nice job. The visit to the orphanage was funny because of Nastiya’s attitude. When we got there, she was very reserved, even though we came bearing gifts – and ice cream! But when she started talking to the interpreter, it became clear that she was miffed because we had arrived so late in the day, and she had been worried – either that we had been hurt or just that we weren’t coming to spend time with her, I didn’t catch, but either way it really touched me. She’s so committed to this, and I think she got a little spooked. I am so looking forward to talking to her once she speaks English!
Dinner was a real pleasure. Our interpreter offered to make a Ukrainian dinner for us. We stopped at the supermarket, and she got all the fixings. The meat was a chicken dish: she chopped the chicken into chunks and rubbed it with a Ukrainian spice. She sautéed this in safflower oil with onions and cheese. She also made salad (tomatoes, onion, and parsley in an olive oil – we didn’t have vinegar), and “porridge”. The porridge was whole grain buckwheat simmered like rice. For dinner we had it with butter, salt and pepper. We had it for breakfast on Monday with milk and sugar, as instructed. I was really surprised – it was very good. The crowning touch was a treat that our interpreter had bought when we weren’t with her: caviar! We had fresh bread, thinly sliced and lathered with butter, topped with caviar. It was very tasty. We learned that this was a standard food for a celebration – birthdays especially.
Sue and Jeff - Day 9 – Playtime with Anastasia!
Sue – Saturday, October 24, 2009
Day 9 – Playtime with Anastasia!
Saturday we head out around 10 am. We’ve been taking Melatonin to sleep; otherwise you are up at 4:00am, wide awake. Melatonin tells your body it is sleep time for the next 8 hours. When we return to states, we can use it as well to get to sleep there.
We were allowed to go to the orphanage to take Anastasia out for the day. She first wanted a “radio”, which we did not bring for her, even though she asked for it over the phone some weeks ago, thinking we would let her pick one out. First stop – a toy store. The didn’t have any radios. We did look around a bit, and bought a large Disney puzzle of Snow White, to share with the other kids, and some coloring books for her.
Next stop, a “Best Buy” type of store – vacuums, washing machines, phones, all electronics. We looked in the glass cabinet, and we asked her which one… she actually picked out the cheapest of the three available. I had a set of earplugs from a previous airplane trip, which I gave to her to use with the radio. Most of the headsets they had there were more expensive than the radio itself! And, V.’s words echoed in my mind.. “…the other kids will break it or steal it…” So for about $15 US dollars, we made her very happy.
Then we drove a little way to the ice skating rink. It is a large dome structure, with the ice skating inside with ice…. It has been very warm here, when it’s not raining. Around 65-75 degrees, it feels like. But our translator wears a sweater, and a coat. I had been wearing either short-sleeved blouses, then a lightweight blazer, then a medium weight fall jacket, or a long-sleeved blouse, and same jackets, and I was way too hot! So since we would be ice skating and running around outside, I just wore a ¾ sleeve lightweight sweater, with the outside fall jacket. For anyone that is coming in November/December, they are saying that it “could” snow in Nov, but it WILL be colder, so WINTER apparel is in order. If you are coming in Jan/Feb, then you NEED long johns, winter jackets, boots, head covering and gloves!! I can tell form the morning nip in the air that very soon the weather will snap in the beginning of a very long, bitter, and dreary winter. Our guide told us one day, when we were sitting outside eating pizza, with the sun shining warmly on my arm and face, that it was an “Indian Autumn”… you mean “Indian Summer”??? Yes, Indian Summer! So this warm weather is not exactly the norm, even for October.
Back to Anastasia! The ice skating is a great idea! It is 35 and 20 grivna (adult and child), for 45 minutes of ice skating time (about $4. adult, $2.50 child) They clear the ice at the “:45”, and then you go into the locker area, put on your skates, and go onto the ice when the organ music plays on the hour. I had only been on ice skates about1-2 times in the 20 years I’ve been with Jeff (doesn’t skate, nor does he want to try…), so I don’t know WHY I got elected to go on the ice with her!! I could barely keep myself up! So off we went, Momma and Anastasia, holding onto the railing, scooting around the edge of the rink like sloths. I got my legs a bit, and did not fall, but only because I cautiously went forward only enough to stay with her.
Anastasia laughed, and held onto the side for dear life!! She would get going a bit, but not let go, so she was actually pulling herself off balance, and down she’s go! After a few loops, she did find another Russian-speaking little girl that helped her. I was very happy to see that she would undertake an activity she did not excel at – at least try and flail a bit. It’s a good sign for learning! And since we’re an active family, she will be trying new things (activities, sports, foods, travels, etc..) a lot, so I am happy she will just go off and “DO IT”. Our translator told us the orphanage brings the kids here 1-2 times a year, so Anastasia had been ice skating before, just not often.
Both before and after our ice skating, we played in the children’s park nearby. Across from the ice skating dome, there is a small “village” set up, with little cottages, and a BBQ area. We were told that it is like a little café – you can eat lunch in the houses, and buy food when they cook it. Sure enough, when we came out form ice skating, there were guys cooking on the grill. Then, right past the 4-5 cottages, there is a small children’s playground area. The equipment looks like the kind I had in the 60s… wait, it IS the one I had in the 60s (okay, small joke…). The equipment is very, very old, with many layers of paint. It is the metal kind, with “go-rounds”, and climb-through tubes, and swings. So we got some cute photos of Anastasia being spun around on some of the equipment, and we laughed and tried to tickle her as she spun past us. Again, the day was warm and sunny, but the autumn colors are in full bloom, and are beautiful!
I’m going to let Jeff pick up from here… “Dos-vah-don_yah!” “Good-bye”!
Jeff:
It was really funny watching Nastiya skate – she made a best friend right there on the ice – she had another girl helping her skate almost as soon as Momma took a second to rest.
Once we left the ice rink, we asked Anastasia what she wanted for lunch. She had no real preference – I’m guessing she doesn’t make choices like that very well because she never has the opportunity to make that kind of choice. Well, what does every child love? Pizza! We headed back to the same pizza joint were we had lunch previously. Anastasia picked a seafood salad to go with her pizza. Didn’t surprise me at all – she loved seafood when she stayed with us. Her second favorite next to tomatoes!
After lunch – around 2PM – we still had two more hours to spend with Nastiya. Our driver took us back to a “Luna Park” that we had passed earlier. This was a small park with about 15 rides, mostly very simple rides – think the portable rides that show up at the small fairs in San Jose from time to time – maybe a little larger in some cases. Things like a fun house, ferris wheel, small roller coaster, plus a couple larger rides; what we used to call the hammerhead, and a pretty nice drop zone kind of ride. Nastiya really got into going on the rides. Danged if I hadn’t forgotten to charge my camera – I ran out of juice after the ice rink, so I didn’t get any of these pictures. I think Momma and Nastiya’s favorite was the bumper cars. These are NOT the bumper cars we have in the US – these were moving fast enough to give you whiplash in a head-on! I watched a couple people purposely hit head-on – the crunch was very audible. It was also interesting that the seatbelts were non-existent on most rides. Imagine – personal responsibility! (But the corollary is that we do not have seatbelts in the taxi, either – it’s been driving Sue crazy)
OK – here’s the funniest part: at one point, Nastiya grabbed Momma’s hand to take her over to the bumper cars again. They headed around a big bush one direction, and I headed around from the other direction. When I got to the other side, there was Sue – no Nastiya! I was amazed – how could Sue lose our daughter that fast?? But of course our little sweetie had found a friend. Turns out her teacher/caregiver from a previous school (boarding school?) was there with some other kids. Nastiya was over at the bench chatting her up. Very sweet – she made sure to get her number before we left the park, Jeez – it’s like a friend of mine in San Jose – wherever we go, he’s running in to somebody he knows. Looks like my daughter is going to have the same proclivity – she is absolutely a people-person.
Finally we had to take her back to the orphanage. When we got there, her friends were just coming down the main stairway near the front door. Anastasia got swept up in the tide and just disappeared – no good bye, no Paka – just gone! Sue and I both had a stunned expression on our faces, and we even joked with each other: “no goodbye?”
As soon as we walked out the door, our interpreter, who had noticed our expressions, made it a point to tell us what a good time Nastiya had and how overwhelmed she was with the day – it wasn’t that she doesn’t love us. Sue and I both laughed. We really appreciated the concern our interpreter showed, but having seen the way Anastasia is around other kids, we weren’t seriously surprised or upset. She is a ten year old child who wanted to share her prizes and adventures with her friends, so off she went!
We decided to go back to the apartment and unwind a little before dinner. A cup of tea, a little peeva (beer), and off we went for sushi in Mariupol, Ukraine! OK – so there’s no Japanese people within 500 miles of this city – so what? It turned out to be quite good. It was our first experience with a dinner in a restaurant, and we had the typical experience – kind of. I’ve had dinner in Europe many times, and it takes much longer than dinner in the US. In the US, the restaurant is interested in giving you a good experience, but they want the table for the next party! Not so much in Ukraine – we were there for about 2-/12 hours. The part that we could not understand was the drink service. One of the primary money-makers for a restaurant in the US is the drinks, alcoholic or not. Not here. We didn’t get the drinks we ordered until the meal came – about an hour after we arrived. I think we should have ordered vodka instead of sake – another table came in after us and had their bottle of vodka long before we got our sake. Anyway, good food – but be patient!
Back to the apartment. Our interpreter says she will play tour guide on Sunday, and we will see Nastiya later in the day.
Day 9 – Playtime with Anastasia!
Saturday we head out around 10 am. We’ve been taking Melatonin to sleep; otherwise you are up at 4:00am, wide awake. Melatonin tells your body it is sleep time for the next 8 hours. When we return to states, we can use it as well to get to sleep there.
We were allowed to go to the orphanage to take Anastasia out for the day. She first wanted a “radio”, which we did not bring for her, even though she asked for it over the phone some weeks ago, thinking we would let her pick one out. First stop – a toy store. The didn’t have any radios. We did look around a bit, and bought a large Disney puzzle of Snow White, to share with the other kids, and some coloring books for her.
Next stop, a “Best Buy” type of store – vacuums, washing machines, phones, all electronics. We looked in the glass cabinet, and we asked her which one… she actually picked out the cheapest of the three available. I had a set of earplugs from a previous airplane trip, which I gave to her to use with the radio. Most of the headsets they had there were more expensive than the radio itself! And, V.’s words echoed in my mind.. “…the other kids will break it or steal it…” So for about $15 US dollars, we made her very happy.
Then we drove a little way to the ice skating rink. It is a large dome structure, with the ice skating inside with ice…. It has been very warm here, when it’s not raining. Around 65-75 degrees, it feels like. But our translator wears a sweater, and a coat. I had been wearing either short-sleeved blouses, then a lightweight blazer, then a medium weight fall jacket, or a long-sleeved blouse, and same jackets, and I was way too hot! So since we would be ice skating and running around outside, I just wore a ¾ sleeve lightweight sweater, with the outside fall jacket. For anyone that is coming in November/December, they are saying that it “could” snow in Nov, but it WILL be colder, so WINTER apparel is in order. If you are coming in Jan/Feb, then you NEED long johns, winter jackets, boots, head covering and gloves!! I can tell form the morning nip in the air that very soon the weather will snap in the beginning of a very long, bitter, and dreary winter. Our guide told us one day, when we were sitting outside eating pizza, with the sun shining warmly on my arm and face, that it was an “Indian Autumn”… you mean “Indian Summer”??? Yes, Indian Summer! So this warm weather is not exactly the norm, even for October.
Back to Anastasia! The ice skating is a great idea! It is 35 and 20 grivna (adult and child), for 45 minutes of ice skating time (about $4. adult, $2.50 child) They clear the ice at the “:45”, and then you go into the locker area, put on your skates, and go onto the ice when the organ music plays on the hour. I had only been on ice skates about1-2 times in the 20 years I’ve been with Jeff (doesn’t skate, nor does he want to try…), so I don’t know WHY I got elected to go on the ice with her!! I could barely keep myself up! So off we went, Momma and Anastasia, holding onto the railing, scooting around the edge of the rink like sloths. I got my legs a bit, and did not fall, but only because I cautiously went forward only enough to stay with her.
Anastasia laughed, and held onto the side for dear life!! She would get going a bit, but not let go, so she was actually pulling herself off balance, and down she’s go! After a few loops, she did find another Russian-speaking little girl that helped her. I was very happy to see that she would undertake an activity she did not excel at – at least try and flail a bit. It’s a good sign for learning! And since we’re an active family, she will be trying new things (activities, sports, foods, travels, etc..) a lot, so I am happy she will just go off and “DO IT”. Our translator told us the orphanage brings the kids here 1-2 times a year, so Anastasia had been ice skating before, just not often.
Both before and after our ice skating, we played in the children’s park nearby. Across from the ice skating dome, there is a small “village” set up, with little cottages, and a BBQ area. We were told that it is like a little café – you can eat lunch in the houses, and buy food when they cook it. Sure enough, when we came out form ice skating, there were guys cooking on the grill. Then, right past the 4-5 cottages, there is a small children’s playground area. The equipment looks like the kind I had in the 60s… wait, it IS the one I had in the 60s (okay, small joke…). The equipment is very, very old, with many layers of paint. It is the metal kind, with “go-rounds”, and climb-through tubes, and swings. So we got some cute photos of Anastasia being spun around on some of the equipment, and we laughed and tried to tickle her as she spun past us. Again, the day was warm and sunny, but the autumn colors are in full bloom, and are beautiful!
I’m going to let Jeff pick up from here… “Dos-vah-don_yah!” “Good-bye”!
Jeff:
It was really funny watching Nastiya skate – she made a best friend right there on the ice – she had another girl helping her skate almost as soon as Momma took a second to rest.
Once we left the ice rink, we asked Anastasia what she wanted for lunch. She had no real preference – I’m guessing she doesn’t make choices like that very well because she never has the opportunity to make that kind of choice. Well, what does every child love? Pizza! We headed back to the same pizza joint were we had lunch previously. Anastasia picked a seafood salad to go with her pizza. Didn’t surprise me at all – she loved seafood when she stayed with us. Her second favorite next to tomatoes!
After lunch – around 2PM – we still had two more hours to spend with Nastiya. Our driver took us back to a “Luna Park” that we had passed earlier. This was a small park with about 15 rides, mostly very simple rides – think the portable rides that show up at the small fairs in San Jose from time to time – maybe a little larger in some cases. Things like a fun house, ferris wheel, small roller coaster, plus a couple larger rides; what we used to call the hammerhead, and a pretty nice drop zone kind of ride. Nastiya really got into going on the rides. Danged if I hadn’t forgotten to charge my camera – I ran out of juice after the ice rink, so I didn’t get any of these pictures. I think Momma and Nastiya’s favorite was the bumper cars. These are NOT the bumper cars we have in the US – these were moving fast enough to give you whiplash in a head-on! I watched a couple people purposely hit head-on – the crunch was very audible. It was also interesting that the seatbelts were non-existent on most rides. Imagine – personal responsibility! (But the corollary is that we do not have seatbelts in the taxi, either – it’s been driving Sue crazy)
OK – here’s the funniest part: at one point, Nastiya grabbed Momma’s hand to take her over to the bumper cars again. They headed around a big bush one direction, and I headed around from the other direction. When I got to the other side, there was Sue – no Nastiya! I was amazed – how could Sue lose our daughter that fast?? But of course our little sweetie had found a friend. Turns out her teacher/caregiver from a previous school (boarding school?) was there with some other kids. Nastiya was over at the bench chatting her up. Very sweet – she made sure to get her number before we left the park, Jeez – it’s like a friend of mine in San Jose – wherever we go, he’s running in to somebody he knows. Looks like my daughter is going to have the same proclivity – she is absolutely a people-person.
Finally we had to take her back to the orphanage. When we got there, her friends were just coming down the main stairway near the front door. Anastasia got swept up in the tide and just disappeared – no good bye, no Paka – just gone! Sue and I both had a stunned expression on our faces, and we even joked with each other: “no goodbye?”
As soon as we walked out the door, our interpreter, who had noticed our expressions, made it a point to tell us what a good time Nastiya had and how overwhelmed she was with the day – it wasn’t that she doesn’t love us. Sue and I both laughed. We really appreciated the concern our interpreter showed, but having seen the way Anastasia is around other kids, we weren’t seriously surprised or upset. She is a ten year old child who wanted to share her prizes and adventures with her friends, so off she went!
We decided to go back to the apartment and unwind a little before dinner. A cup of tea, a little peeva (beer), and off we went for sushi in Mariupol, Ukraine! OK – so there’s no Japanese people within 500 miles of this city – so what? It turned out to be quite good. It was our first experience with a dinner in a restaurant, and we had the typical experience – kind of. I’ve had dinner in Europe many times, and it takes much longer than dinner in the US. In the US, the restaurant is interested in giving you a good experience, but they want the table for the next party! Not so much in Ukraine – we were there for about 2-/12 hours. The part that we could not understand was the drink service. One of the primary money-makers for a restaurant in the US is the drinks, alcoholic or not. Not here. We didn’t get the drinks we ordered until the meal came – about an hour after we arrived. I think we should have ordered vodka instead of sake – another table came in after us and had their bottle of vodka long before we got our sake. Anyway, good food – but be patient!
Back to the apartment. Our interpreter says she will play tour guide on Sunday, and we will see Nastiya later in the day.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Jeff and Sue: Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
Jeff – Friday, October 23, 2009
Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
The pace was a bit slower today, but we needed to finish the final document package…
Our first task of the day was acquiring a gift. Nastiya’s brother does not have a phone. We have decided to provide him with one so that he can keep in touch with Nastiya. The cell phones work differently in Ukraine: you do not buy a monthly plan. It’s a pay as you go plan. You buy a phone, and then you buy a card with a certain value of grivna to apply to the phone. For instance, I bought a 50 grivna card a few days ago. The process consists of exposing the code on the back of the card – kind of like a lottery card. Then you type *100*code number# and hit send. The phone says “please wait”, and a few seconds later you get a message that shows what your new balance is. However, you don’t pay at all for incoming calls. It turned out to be extremely inexpensive to supply him a phone and just enough credit so that he will be able to receive calls from Nastiya. Very cool.
I tried to buy the internet modem at the same store, but they only had PCMCIA cards. This would work for my laptop, but I figured I should get a USB card instead – the odds are better that future families will be able to use the card. So off we went to another store. Sure enough, they had this nifty USB card – MTC KOHHEKT (MTC CONNECT). Once I purchased the card, I plugged it into the USB port. The first thing I saw was the installation message about a mass storage device and then a message about a new modem. The next thing that happened was the setup program started automatically. How about that – the device came with a disk partition that launched the driver installer. Very slick. I chose the English language option – the girl who sold it to me, who so far had only spoken Russian through the interpreter, said, “You don’t want to use the Ukrainian option?” We had a laugh about that, and then we had a nice conversation in English about how long I was here, etc. Very funny – everybody speaks English.
The one other detail about the card: you don’t buy unlimited access like you do in the US: the unit of measure is actually the amount of data transferred. The card came with a plan that provides 4GB of data, but only 1GB before 10/31. So I measured: looks like we can be fairly judicious with our web browsing and use about 25MB per hour. This will give us ~40 hours of connect time before we leave Ukraine. With care, this should work. If it doesn’t, the card can be re-charged the same way as I described with the phone. The cool part is that the cost for 10GB is 250 grivna – about $30. That’s ball-park 40 hours of connect time. Obviously not as easy as just staying connected like I do in the US with my Verizon card, but hey – lots cooler than hanging at the internet café and trying to do the transfer etc. Plus the travel time to and from the café – so far we’re wondering when we’re going to get to the slow part of this trip that we’ve heard about. We will get to that – but more about that tomorrow.
Finally, around 10:45, we headed over to the orphanage to meet with Nastiya and her brother. It was really great to meet him – he’s a really nice young man, and it’s obvious how much he cares for his sister. He is a very shy person, so the majority of the time was spent explaining how they could keep in touch using this phone and how we can use mail. We took plenty of pictures, got his address, asked if he had any questions, etc. I think he was quite overwhelmed with the entire meeting, as well as the fact that his sister will be living practically on the other side of the planet.
After the orphanage, we headed off for lunch – pizza! It was really good. Quite different, but we really enjoyed it. After that we needed to finish the applications at – you guessed it – the notary bureau! Back to the notary bureau. We got there around 3 PM when we were supposed to have our appointment, but the papers weren’t ready. Our interpreter said she needed to get some other papers taken care of that the orphanage, so we headed back over there. We got there, and our interpreter told us to wait. Of course we asked if we could hang with Nastiya while we waited, and she went to check. On the way in, her phone rang – the papers were ready at the notary bureau! “Everything changed – get back in the car!” Back we went to the bureau, and sat quietly while the girl in the office (secretary? Assistant?) finished typing the documents, and then our interpreter went over them in great detail. Half an hour later, six copies of the application were placed in front of us for signature and printed names. By number six, I couldn’t remember how to spell my own name
As soon as we finished signing, the guy at the notary took off like a shot. Our interpreter said that we’re done! Paper chase done! Now we wait for the court date. Our interpreter says that everything is done in a timely manner, so can ask for the court date next Thursday. This is exactly the time frame that we have been shooting for: if we can have the appointment in the morning, then we have the party at the orphanage right after lunch and then jump in the car and drive 2 hours back to Donets’k. From there we fly to Mariupol, and on Friday we make a stop at the Embassy – maybe. We still have not figured out exactly how to do the second trip – whether we both come or just Susie comes on her own. If we both come, then I don’t need to go to the embassy. I think we’re leaning this way right now. But if just Susie comes back, then we have to fill out a form at the Embassy while I’m here on this trip. So currently, we plan to do that Friday if required, then catch our currently scheduled flights on Saturday with an overnight in London.
Anyway, we headed back to the orphanage, hung with Nastiya in the hallway for about 10-15 minutes while our interpreter read a letter to one of the other kids who had come to San Jose, then we headed home for a quiet dinner in the apartment.
To bed!
Sue – Friday, October 23
Day 8 – Mariupol – End of Papers (for Now)
Sue here… I think Jeff blogs beautifully! Just adding my own impressions here…
Meeting Nastiya’s brother was emotional for me. I liked him very, very much! I could see he was not only overwhelmed, but also very heartbroken. He regularly visits his sister in the orphanage. At 15 years old, he is almost “adult”. When children hit 16, they can work 35 hours a week (7 hours a day instead of the real “adult” 8 hours a day). In the states, they are still “children” until 18 (or graduate high school…), but here, they are working and supporting the sick or elderly adults at 16, with no stipend or other help from the government. It is a little unnerving for me, since Connor just turned 16 in July, and thinking of him working full-time to support me or Jeff, at home sick with TB or cancer. The brother’s dad has TB. A good percentage of the people have tested positive for TB, it is common here. He is living at a boarding school (right now) five days a week, and then living mostly with his aunt on the weekend (they call the 2-day weekend “holiday” – it’s a translation thing).
This brings to mind a story I wanted to share. The first day we saw Nastiya, Wednesday, one of the many questions I asked her was, “Do you still have the two albums we made for you”? “Nyet.” “Did you lose them?” “Nyet.” “Did the other kids grab them and ruin them?” “Nyet.”…. she became increasingly frustrated… the interpreter/translator was out of the room doing official business at the moment, so we were left with usual communication techniques… Russian/English book and hand gestures and limited words…. Then I thought (with her kind, caring nature….) “Did you GIVE it away?!?” “Da…” and she shook her head “yes”. Ahhhh!! I laughed… “Did you give it away to a boy or a girl?” Pause… “A boy!” “A boy you like?” “Da.”
Jeff and I laughed, thinking she gave her Disney album to some boy she liked. Pretty generous (and I couldn’t help thinking about the 3-4 hours I labored over it, picking all the right pictures out of the hundreds of pictures of our Disney trip to put into it!) I was a little disappointed. I thought she would NEVER let go of the Disneyland album! The hundred best pictures of our very busy two days in Disneyland and California Resort?!? Gone?!? Sigh…
Then on Wednesday, when the translator came back in, we asked her to translate – WHO did Nastiya give the albums to??!!?? And we found out WHO – her brother! She gave not just the Disney album, but the other, larger album, with the ENTIRE visit to America in it, to her brother, so he could have a connection to her and to the family where she will be living. He could see pictures of her house, her dog , her cat, her new Momma, her new Papa, her new “Brat” (brother), the park near the house with the fountain – all the memories I so lovingly labored to put into photo albums for HER to remember us, she selflessly gave to her brother, so he could remember. That’s love. Okay, it brought tears to my eyes, again. I love that girl!
The other story from the other day was how Nastiya called over the other caregivers whenever they went by to show them the photos on Jeff’s computer of her “Novi Brat”… her “new brother”… the translator explained how she’d been very excited about having Connor as her new brother! Apparently, while we were in California thinking about her, she was driving everyone crazy here talking about us to them!!
So, on Friday, we loved the time with her brother, exchanged addresses, gave him a phone, talked, and then went outside to take more pictures… he wanted a lot of pictures of her. We took pictures of all of us, and of her and her brother, and of her alone. He is too big to cry, but throughout the entire meeting, there were times I thought he was going to… and the obvious 500 hundred pound gorilla in the room was… he was here, working full time in the next few months to support his sick dad and his aunt, perhaps, when Nastiya will be with us, finishing high school, going to college, having opportunities he could never even dream of…
It was sad, but ultimately, his love for her, and recognizing the “better life” for her with us is the right choice. So he signed the agreement to let her go (earlier in the week). In Ukraine, the extended family must agree to let them be adopted, so other families will go through this process.
The other thing about our very limited meeting with Nastiya in the hallway later in the afternoon was this: I shared a chair with Nastiya, and we let her listen to the mini-ipod that Connor gave to her, and that Jeff had loaded all her Russian CDs onto.
Dark-haired V. came down to visit with the translator, who the children know from visits with families…
J. from mid-west will know who I’m talking about… So, V. was very, very excited to have the letter interpreted for him. (The other day, Wed, I think, when we briefly saw the other children, and gave them the gifts the families sent, we had not had time to speak with each one individually with the interpreter… Someone came in and hurried the children out… so we never got a chance to speak with each child individually…)
So here V. was, having the letter from his new family read to him by the interpreter. He was very excited, and really, really enjoyed having the letter interpreted!! Joy, excitement, and a very focused interest was placed on that letter! He was animated and also counseled Nastiya in NOT taking the ipod back to her dorm, saying to her – “it will get broken or stolen by other children… so let your Momma and Papa take it!” There was a very animated discussion between him and Nastiya about whether or not she should take the ipod back to her dorm. We wanted to keep it for her to have on the 30 hour-two days of travel to get home in November… so we were happy to have V. as an advocate on our side. Shows wisdom.
On Friday night, I made some smoked mackerel – boiled – and home fries and onions. YUM! I cannot find the salted mackerel in California, so when I saw it in the package at the store, I pounced on it! Yup. It did taste a lot like the salted mackerel and home fries we used to have for Sunday brunch at Aunt Helen’s house, when I was about six years old. Our interpreter was polite – Jeff ate leftovers….
And the saga continues…..
Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
The pace was a bit slower today, but we needed to finish the final document package…
Our first task of the day was acquiring a gift. Nastiya’s brother does not have a phone. We have decided to provide him with one so that he can keep in touch with Nastiya. The cell phones work differently in Ukraine: you do not buy a monthly plan. It’s a pay as you go plan. You buy a phone, and then you buy a card with a certain value of grivna to apply to the phone. For instance, I bought a 50 grivna card a few days ago. The process consists of exposing the code on the back of the card – kind of like a lottery card. Then you type *100*code number# and hit send. The phone says “please wait”, and a few seconds later you get a message that shows what your new balance is. However, you don’t pay at all for incoming calls. It turned out to be extremely inexpensive to supply him a phone and just enough credit so that he will be able to receive calls from Nastiya. Very cool.
I tried to buy the internet modem at the same store, but they only had PCMCIA cards. This would work for my laptop, but I figured I should get a USB card instead – the odds are better that future families will be able to use the card. So off we went to another store. Sure enough, they had this nifty USB card – MTC KOHHEKT (MTC CONNECT). Once I purchased the card, I plugged it into the USB port. The first thing I saw was the installation message about a mass storage device and then a message about a new modem. The next thing that happened was the setup program started automatically. How about that – the device came with a disk partition that launched the driver installer. Very slick. I chose the English language option – the girl who sold it to me, who so far had only spoken Russian through the interpreter, said, “You don’t want to use the Ukrainian option?” We had a laugh about that, and then we had a nice conversation in English about how long I was here, etc. Very funny – everybody speaks English.
The one other detail about the card: you don’t buy unlimited access like you do in the US: the unit of measure is actually the amount of data transferred. The card came with a plan that provides 4GB of data, but only 1GB before 10/31. So I measured: looks like we can be fairly judicious with our web browsing and use about 25MB per hour. This will give us ~40 hours of connect time before we leave Ukraine. With care, this should work. If it doesn’t, the card can be re-charged the same way as I described with the phone. The cool part is that the cost for 10GB is 250 grivna – about $30. That’s ball-park 40 hours of connect time. Obviously not as easy as just staying connected like I do in the US with my Verizon card, but hey – lots cooler than hanging at the internet café and trying to do the transfer etc. Plus the travel time to and from the café – so far we’re wondering when we’re going to get to the slow part of this trip that we’ve heard about. We will get to that – but more about that tomorrow.
Finally, around 10:45, we headed over to the orphanage to meet with Nastiya and her brother. It was really great to meet him – he’s a really nice young man, and it’s obvious how much he cares for his sister. He is a very shy person, so the majority of the time was spent explaining how they could keep in touch using this phone and how we can use mail. We took plenty of pictures, got his address, asked if he had any questions, etc. I think he was quite overwhelmed with the entire meeting, as well as the fact that his sister will be living practically on the other side of the planet.
After the orphanage, we headed off for lunch – pizza! It was really good. Quite different, but we really enjoyed it. After that we needed to finish the applications at – you guessed it – the notary bureau! Back to the notary bureau. We got there around 3 PM when we were supposed to have our appointment, but the papers weren’t ready. Our interpreter said she needed to get some other papers taken care of that the orphanage, so we headed back over there. We got there, and our interpreter told us to wait. Of course we asked if we could hang with Nastiya while we waited, and she went to check. On the way in, her phone rang – the papers were ready at the notary bureau! “Everything changed – get back in the car!” Back we went to the bureau, and sat quietly while the girl in the office (secretary? Assistant?) finished typing the documents, and then our interpreter went over them in great detail. Half an hour later, six copies of the application were placed in front of us for signature and printed names. By number six, I couldn’t remember how to spell my own name
As soon as we finished signing, the guy at the notary took off like a shot. Our interpreter said that we’re done! Paper chase done! Now we wait for the court date. Our interpreter says that everything is done in a timely manner, so can ask for the court date next Thursday. This is exactly the time frame that we have been shooting for: if we can have the appointment in the morning, then we have the party at the orphanage right after lunch and then jump in the car and drive 2 hours back to Donets’k. From there we fly to Mariupol, and on Friday we make a stop at the Embassy – maybe. We still have not figured out exactly how to do the second trip – whether we both come or just Susie comes on her own. If we both come, then I don’t need to go to the embassy. I think we’re leaning this way right now. But if just Susie comes back, then we have to fill out a form at the Embassy while I’m here on this trip. So currently, we plan to do that Friday if required, then catch our currently scheduled flights on Saturday with an overnight in London.
Anyway, we headed back to the orphanage, hung with Nastiya in the hallway for about 10-15 minutes while our interpreter read a letter to one of the other kids who had come to San Jose, then we headed home for a quiet dinner in the apartment.
To bed!
Sue – Friday, October 23
Day 8 – Mariupol – End of Papers (for Now)
Sue here… I think Jeff blogs beautifully! Just adding my own impressions here…
Meeting Nastiya’s brother was emotional for me. I liked him very, very much! I could see he was not only overwhelmed, but also very heartbroken. He regularly visits his sister in the orphanage. At 15 years old, he is almost “adult”. When children hit 16, they can work 35 hours a week (7 hours a day instead of the real “adult” 8 hours a day). In the states, they are still “children” until 18 (or graduate high school…), but here, they are working and supporting the sick or elderly adults at 16, with no stipend or other help from the government. It is a little unnerving for me, since Connor just turned 16 in July, and thinking of him working full-time to support me or Jeff, at home sick with TB or cancer. The brother’s dad has TB. A good percentage of the people have tested positive for TB, it is common here. He is living at a boarding school (right now) five days a week, and then living mostly with his aunt on the weekend (they call the 2-day weekend “holiday” – it’s a translation thing).
This brings to mind a story I wanted to share. The first day we saw Nastiya, Wednesday, one of the many questions I asked her was, “Do you still have the two albums we made for you”? “Nyet.” “Did you lose them?” “Nyet.” “Did the other kids grab them and ruin them?” “Nyet.”…. she became increasingly frustrated… the interpreter/translator was out of the room doing official business at the moment, so we were left with usual communication techniques… Russian/English book and hand gestures and limited words…. Then I thought (with her kind, caring nature….) “Did you GIVE it away?!?” “Da…” and she shook her head “yes”. Ahhhh!! I laughed… “Did you give it away to a boy or a girl?” Pause… “A boy!” “A boy you like?” “Da.”
Jeff and I laughed, thinking she gave her Disney album to some boy she liked. Pretty generous (and I couldn’t help thinking about the 3-4 hours I labored over it, picking all the right pictures out of the hundreds of pictures of our Disney trip to put into it!) I was a little disappointed. I thought she would NEVER let go of the Disneyland album! The hundred best pictures of our very busy two days in Disneyland and California Resort?!? Gone?!? Sigh…
Then on Wednesday, when the translator came back in, we asked her to translate – WHO did Nastiya give the albums to??!!?? And we found out WHO – her brother! She gave not just the Disney album, but the other, larger album, with the ENTIRE visit to America in it, to her brother, so he could have a connection to her and to the family where she will be living. He could see pictures of her house, her dog , her cat, her new Momma, her new Papa, her new “Brat” (brother), the park near the house with the fountain – all the memories I so lovingly labored to put into photo albums for HER to remember us, she selflessly gave to her brother, so he could remember. That’s love. Okay, it brought tears to my eyes, again. I love that girl!
The other story from the other day was how Nastiya called over the other caregivers whenever they went by to show them the photos on Jeff’s computer of her “Novi Brat”… her “new brother”… the translator explained how she’d been very excited about having Connor as her new brother! Apparently, while we were in California thinking about her, she was driving everyone crazy here talking about us to them!!
So, on Friday, we loved the time with her brother, exchanged addresses, gave him a phone, talked, and then went outside to take more pictures… he wanted a lot of pictures of her. We took pictures of all of us, and of her and her brother, and of her alone. He is too big to cry, but throughout the entire meeting, there were times I thought he was going to… and the obvious 500 hundred pound gorilla in the room was… he was here, working full time in the next few months to support his sick dad and his aunt, perhaps, when Nastiya will be with us, finishing high school, going to college, having opportunities he could never even dream of…
It was sad, but ultimately, his love for her, and recognizing the “better life” for her with us is the right choice. So he signed the agreement to let her go (earlier in the week). In Ukraine, the extended family must agree to let them be adopted, so other families will go through this process.
The other thing about our very limited meeting with Nastiya in the hallway later in the afternoon was this: I shared a chair with Nastiya, and we let her listen to the mini-ipod that Connor gave to her, and that Jeff had loaded all her Russian CDs onto.
Dark-haired V. came down to visit with the translator, who the children know from visits with families…
J. from mid-west will know who I’m talking about… So, V. was very, very excited to have the letter interpreted for him. (The other day, Wed, I think, when we briefly saw the other children, and gave them the gifts the families sent, we had not had time to speak with each one individually with the interpreter… Someone came in and hurried the children out… so we never got a chance to speak with each child individually…)
So here V. was, having the letter from his new family read to him by the interpreter. He was very excited, and really, really enjoyed having the letter interpreted!! Joy, excitement, and a very focused interest was placed on that letter! He was animated and also counseled Nastiya in NOT taking the ipod back to her dorm, saying to her – “it will get broken or stolen by other children… so let your Momma and Papa take it!” There was a very animated discussion between him and Nastiya about whether or not she should take the ipod back to her dorm. We wanted to keep it for her to have on the 30 hour-two days of travel to get home in November… so we were happy to have V. as an advocate on our side. Shows wisdom.
On Friday night, I made some smoked mackerel – boiled – and home fries and onions. YUM! I cannot find the salted mackerel in California, so when I saw it in the package at the store, I pounced on it! Yup. It did taste a lot like the salted mackerel and home fries we used to have for Sunday brunch at Aunt Helen’s house, when I was about six years old. Our interpreter was polite – Jeff ate leftovers….
And the saga continues…..
Friday, October 23, 2009
Jeff & Sue - Day 7 - The Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
Jeff – Thursday, October 22, 2009
Day 7 – The Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
I’m writing this on Friday evening at about 6PM local time. I didn’t take really great notes for yesterday, so I’m sitting here trying to remember what we did. It was another crazy busy day – but more for our interpreter than for us!
Our interpreter headed out at about 8:30 to get some paperwork done. It’s all running together for me now. She keeps describing a local resolution, an SDA resolution, and a court resolution – also referred to as an application. I think all of these are being run through the notary bureau now – we seem to drop her off or wait for her outside that office quite a bit.
We were picked up around 10:30 and headed over to the orphanage. We did get to spend quite a bit of time with Nastiya, but we also got a chance to talk to the social worker and the director. The social worker was amazing – she had Nastiya pegged from what we could tell. The character traits and behaviors that we noticed while Nastiya was staying with us were all described in detail by this woman. One of the things that we continue to see is a real caring sentiment and a deep understanding of these children by the workers at the orphanage. It may not be the best situation for any child, but these people are doing an amazing job to make it the best it can be under the circumstances. So we heard about how Nastiya interacts with other children, her teachers and her caregivers. We learned about her learning style and her favorite topics. We were told about strengths and weaknesses. Overall, a very detailed review of a delightful young lady.
Our time with the director was quite inspiring, actually. It was obvious that she knew Nastiya and cared very much about what Nastiya wants and what will make her happy. I can only assume she has this level of interest and detail about all of “her kids”, but it really felt good to know that she had spent time understanding Nastiya’s wishes and was interested in making those wishes come true.
One of the things that we confirmed during the conversations over these two days was that Nastiya has an older brother and a younger sister. The sister has been out of contact for quite some time – no one is quite sure when they last lived together or spoke. But her 15 year old brother has kept contact and regularly visits Nastiya in the orphanage. The director reiterated the fact that the brother has agreed that this is the best thing for Nastiya, but that he wants to maintain communication with his sister. We were extremely pleased to hear this. First because we also learned that Nastiya wants to stay in contact with her brother. Second, for an ulterior motive: we believe that it will be good for Nastiya to keep her native language: well, now she’ll have to. Sneaky, but what a great situation – she gets the benefit of keeping a language and also of keeping in touch with her “brat”.
The other thing that we learned is that we need the approval of the brother, the sister, the director (of the orphanage), the inspector, the SDA, and the local court. Holy smokes! Well, more on that on Friday, but the short answer is the brother, who had kept touch with her and obviously loves her (we meet him on Friday) has given his approval. The rest is easy, right?
When we finished at the orphanage around 1:45, we headed for… wait for it… the notary bureau! Our interpreter ran in, and when she came out, as I wrote yesterday, we asked the interpreter to help us find an internet modem. She went into two stores to look for one, and at the second one she handed me a price list, said we should think about it, but we would have to do it tomorrow if we wanted it. She told us in a very distracted voice that they would drop us at a restaurant. Since we had not been online for days, we asked instead if we could just go to the internet café. Our driver dropped us at the café and we got two terminals for an hour – 5 grivna each – 10 total (about $1.25). We caught up on email, I copied the blog that you read from yesterday onto a stick, which I connected to my internet computer via a USB port mounted on the desktop (no computer was visible), and then I uploaded the text. Truly a pain as the chairs were all of 6 inches apart – so I had to juggle getting my laptop out of my bag, get the stick loaded, the guy next to me needs to squeeze out… It was a fun juggling act.
When our driver and interpreter picked us up about an hour and a half later, our interpreter was still very distracted. She had the driver drop us at the apartment and they took off. We had a snack, chatted, puttered around for a while, and finally made dinner – still no interpreter. Finally, about three hours after she had dropped us off, she came breezing in. We got the whole story – the papers she needed to finish had to be done that night or else we would add three days to the process. Bless her heart, she kept at it until the documents were done. But these documents needed to be sent back to SDA in Kiev, and they were finished too late to catch the bus to Kiev. So she had to have our Mariupol driver meet our Donets’k driver half-way, then do the pony express thing to get the papers to the Donets’k stop on time, then have them sent overnight to Kiev. But she made it! Our papers would be in Donets’k on Friday. No delay!
So we gave her dinner
I spoke to David, and we chatted about the internet card for a while. I’ve decided to buy the card, and we’ll use it the second trip, if I come back with Sue, if not, figure out a way to pass it on.
Sue – Thursday, October 22
Day 7 – Mariupol – Hurry Up & Wait!
Jeff did a great blog! It was one of those days. First, we could sleep in until 8:30, because we weren’t leaving the apartment until 10:00am. So it was leisurely coffee, get ready, then, hurry, hurry, hurry! Then wait in the car for 20 minutes, then hurry, hurry, hurry, then wait in the car, or go in the office, then back in the car, then wait… it was pretty frantic, as other families have aptly called HURRY UP & WAIT.
The description Jeff wrote about the social worker (school psychologist in the USA) was perfect! She cares deeply for her children… she was the one who stopped by several times while Nastiya, Jeff and I were in the outer room, playing Uno, while another family was in the green room with a child. I thought she was just another caregiver, because she was kind and loving, and Nastiya quickly started jabbering to her about me, Jeff, the card game, etc… So I was surprised when she showed up as the “social worker”.
The one thing I have noticed about the caregivers, from the cooks to the Doctor, to the assistant directors, is that everyone has a CONNECTION to the kids – the kids run up and start telling them things about the visit. There is a kindness I didn’t anticipate, but sort of guessed at due to the love and caring I saw when they were out here with a caregiver. It is NOT an “Oliver Twist” type of orphanage!!
We keep seeing children, dressed warmly in coats and leggings, going outside to play. When one of them (that knows us) strays from the pack, to give us a smile or big hug (like O. did every time she saw us… R. L-C, you know who I’m talking about…), the caregivers gently motion to them, never screaming or yelling. These kids DO have rules, and take them seriously. Of course, they have to have rules, there are over 100 children here. They put the children into “pods”, which have around 10-12 kids, best as I can tell… some older, and some younger. This is only for hanging around, not for school. For school, they of course go to their own grade, and we are pleased to know that Nastiya is in 5th grade, which is exactly the grade she will be in San Jose. The translator pointed out the school they attend is only a block away, but we haven’t gone close to it yet to get a photo.
We didn’t spend much time with Nastiya at all – some Uno, some pictures, some candy and gifts, then the Social Worker’s meeting with us took a lot of time (without Nastiya), then we had to leave for the next document chase!
It is still a surreal experience. I am picking up more Russian words. When Jeff and the translator went off to look for, then eventually buy the modem card, it was a lot of time in the car alone with our driver. Well, far be it from me NOT to talk, just because we don’t speak each other’s language… NYET! I dug out the Russian/English small handbook, and we gesticulated, and “flip-flip-flip”, and then find a word or phrase, then she corrects my pronunciation, then we figure out what the heck the other is trying to say… we “spoke” about husband, marriage, children, school, professions, schooling, and families.
She wanted to know if I worked, what I did, how many children, where I live. We talked about her past schooling, her daughter, her grand-daughter, her daughter’s schooling. I spoke about quitting my job to raise my son… about the type of city, with how many people, and she spoke of the population of Mariupol, and yes, she lived here her whole life; her husband was not from here, but a small town not far away. We talked about places we visited, what type of car we had back in USA. This is all with her knowing a very little amount of English, and me knowing even less Russian. We laughed very hard at times, but managed to get 80 percent of what the other was speaking about. Not bad… not bad at all. A rainy but successful day.
Day 7 – The Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol
I’m writing this on Friday evening at about 6PM local time. I didn’t take really great notes for yesterday, so I’m sitting here trying to remember what we did. It was another crazy busy day – but more for our interpreter than for us!
Our interpreter headed out at about 8:30 to get some paperwork done. It’s all running together for me now. She keeps describing a local resolution, an SDA resolution, and a court resolution – also referred to as an application. I think all of these are being run through the notary bureau now – we seem to drop her off or wait for her outside that office quite a bit.
We were picked up around 10:30 and headed over to the orphanage. We did get to spend quite a bit of time with Nastiya, but we also got a chance to talk to the social worker and the director. The social worker was amazing – she had Nastiya pegged from what we could tell. The character traits and behaviors that we noticed while Nastiya was staying with us were all described in detail by this woman. One of the things that we continue to see is a real caring sentiment and a deep understanding of these children by the workers at the orphanage. It may not be the best situation for any child, but these people are doing an amazing job to make it the best it can be under the circumstances. So we heard about how Nastiya interacts with other children, her teachers and her caregivers. We learned about her learning style and her favorite topics. We were told about strengths and weaknesses. Overall, a very detailed review of a delightful young lady.
Our time with the director was quite inspiring, actually. It was obvious that she knew Nastiya and cared very much about what Nastiya wants and what will make her happy. I can only assume she has this level of interest and detail about all of “her kids”, but it really felt good to know that she had spent time understanding Nastiya’s wishes and was interested in making those wishes come true.
One of the things that we confirmed during the conversations over these two days was that Nastiya has an older brother and a younger sister. The sister has been out of contact for quite some time – no one is quite sure when they last lived together or spoke. But her 15 year old brother has kept contact and regularly visits Nastiya in the orphanage. The director reiterated the fact that the brother has agreed that this is the best thing for Nastiya, but that he wants to maintain communication with his sister. We were extremely pleased to hear this. First because we also learned that Nastiya wants to stay in contact with her brother. Second, for an ulterior motive: we believe that it will be good for Nastiya to keep her native language: well, now she’ll have to. Sneaky, but what a great situation – she gets the benefit of keeping a language and also of keeping in touch with her “brat”.
The other thing that we learned is that we need the approval of the brother, the sister, the director (of the orphanage), the inspector, the SDA, and the local court. Holy smokes! Well, more on that on Friday, but the short answer is the brother, who had kept touch with her and obviously loves her (we meet him on Friday) has given his approval. The rest is easy, right?
When we finished at the orphanage around 1:45, we headed for… wait for it… the notary bureau! Our interpreter ran in, and when she came out, as I wrote yesterday, we asked the interpreter to help us find an internet modem. She went into two stores to look for one, and at the second one she handed me a price list, said we should think about it, but we would have to do it tomorrow if we wanted it. She told us in a very distracted voice that they would drop us at a restaurant. Since we had not been online for days, we asked instead if we could just go to the internet café. Our driver dropped us at the café and we got two terminals for an hour – 5 grivna each – 10 total (about $1.25). We caught up on email, I copied the blog that you read from yesterday onto a stick, which I connected to my internet computer via a USB port mounted on the desktop (no computer was visible), and then I uploaded the text. Truly a pain as the chairs were all of 6 inches apart – so I had to juggle getting my laptop out of my bag, get the stick loaded, the guy next to me needs to squeeze out… It was a fun juggling act.
When our driver and interpreter picked us up about an hour and a half later, our interpreter was still very distracted. She had the driver drop us at the apartment and they took off. We had a snack, chatted, puttered around for a while, and finally made dinner – still no interpreter. Finally, about three hours after she had dropped us off, she came breezing in. We got the whole story – the papers she needed to finish had to be done that night or else we would add three days to the process. Bless her heart, she kept at it until the documents were done. But these documents needed to be sent back to SDA in Kiev, and they were finished too late to catch the bus to Kiev. So she had to have our Mariupol driver meet our Donets’k driver half-way, then do the pony express thing to get the papers to the Donets’k stop on time, then have them sent overnight to Kiev. But she made it! Our papers would be in Donets’k on Friday. No delay!
So we gave her dinner
I spoke to David, and we chatted about the internet card for a while. I’ve decided to buy the card, and we’ll use it the second trip, if I come back with Sue, if not, figure out a way to pass it on.
Sue – Thursday, October 22
Day 7 – Mariupol – Hurry Up & Wait!
Jeff did a great blog! It was one of those days. First, we could sleep in until 8:30, because we weren’t leaving the apartment until 10:00am. So it was leisurely coffee, get ready, then, hurry, hurry, hurry! Then wait in the car for 20 minutes, then hurry, hurry, hurry, then wait in the car, or go in the office, then back in the car, then wait… it was pretty frantic, as other families have aptly called HURRY UP & WAIT.
The description Jeff wrote about the social worker (school psychologist in the USA) was perfect! She cares deeply for her children… she was the one who stopped by several times while Nastiya, Jeff and I were in the outer room, playing Uno, while another family was in the green room with a child. I thought she was just another caregiver, because she was kind and loving, and Nastiya quickly started jabbering to her about me, Jeff, the card game, etc… So I was surprised when she showed up as the “social worker”.
The one thing I have noticed about the caregivers, from the cooks to the Doctor, to the assistant directors, is that everyone has a CONNECTION to the kids – the kids run up and start telling them things about the visit. There is a kindness I didn’t anticipate, but sort of guessed at due to the love and caring I saw when they were out here with a caregiver. It is NOT an “Oliver Twist” type of orphanage!!
We keep seeing children, dressed warmly in coats and leggings, going outside to play. When one of them (that knows us) strays from the pack, to give us a smile or big hug (like O. did every time she saw us… R. L-C, you know who I’m talking about…), the caregivers gently motion to them, never screaming or yelling. These kids DO have rules, and take them seriously. Of course, they have to have rules, there are over 100 children here. They put the children into “pods”, which have around 10-12 kids, best as I can tell… some older, and some younger. This is only for hanging around, not for school. For school, they of course go to their own grade, and we are pleased to know that Nastiya is in 5th grade, which is exactly the grade she will be in San Jose. The translator pointed out the school they attend is only a block away, but we haven’t gone close to it yet to get a photo.
We didn’t spend much time with Nastiya at all – some Uno, some pictures, some candy and gifts, then the Social Worker’s meeting with us took a lot of time (without Nastiya), then we had to leave for the next document chase!
It is still a surreal experience. I am picking up more Russian words. When Jeff and the translator went off to look for, then eventually buy the modem card, it was a lot of time in the car alone with our driver. Well, far be it from me NOT to talk, just because we don’t speak each other’s language… NYET! I dug out the Russian/English small handbook, and we gesticulated, and “flip-flip-flip”, and then find a word or phrase, then she corrects my pronunciation, then we figure out what the heck the other is trying to say… we “spoke” about husband, marriage, children, school, professions, schooling, and families.
She wanted to know if I worked, what I did, how many children, where I live. We talked about her past schooling, her daughter, her grand-daughter, her daughter’s schooling. I spoke about quitting my job to raise my son… about the type of city, with how many people, and she spoke of the population of Mariupol, and yes, she lived here her whole life; her husband was not from here, but a small town not far away. We talked about places we visited, what type of car we had back in USA. This is all with her knowing a very little amount of English, and me knowing even less Russian. We laughed very hard at times, but managed to get 80 percent of what the other was speaking about. Not bad… not bad at all. A rainy but successful day.
Jeff & Sue - Day 6 - Meet with Anastasiya
Sue – Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Day 6 – Meet with Anastasiya - Mariupol
Here we are, at the orphanage. I’m sitting in the green room, waiting to see “what’s next”, when the door opens, and the Assistant Director is standing there with Anastasiya. The last time I saw her, she was turning and waving good-bye at the SFO airport, going through security. I waved, smiled, got up and ran over to her at the same time she ran toward me. I threw my arms around her, and, not letting go, spun her around. I didn’t ever want to let her go again! I kissed her head, I patted her hair; I wanted to drink her in. It is a surreal moment. I hadn’t seen her since July 25th. I kept looking at her, she kept looking at me. The same dancing eyes, the same cute grin, but she looked so pale, so fragile.
It’s all a blur now, but we talked, using our translator. We showed pictures on Jeff’s computer. We asked her about school. They are on holiday this week, but I cannot tell which holiday, because in Kiev it is the following week and here it is this week. She was a little hesitant at first, but opened up, and spoke a lot more, realizing she had an interpreter at her disposal.
We had “the talk” about names. First, we asked her about her last name. She wanted “Stilwell”, of course.
Then we asked her about her first name. “Keep Anastasiya”? Yes, she wanted to keep Anastasiya as her first name. Then we showed her the two “Americanized” spellings of the name:
ANASTASIYA versus ANASTASIA
We told her you can still pronounce it “ah-nah-sta-CEE-yah”, regardless of which way she spelled it. We pronounced the Anglicized Anastasia, and said this was a Russian princess, and many people know the name “Anastasia”, but said of course she could keep the other spelling, Anastasiya. To our very great surprise, she chose ANASTASIA, and stated that she wanted it pronounced “ah-na-STAY-jah”. I’m not sure about my phonetic thing here, but it’s the way you normally pronounce Anastasia, but instead of “Anna-“, it starts with the Russian-sounding “Ana-“.
What about the middle name? In Ukraine, they say it bad luck for a girl to have a female middle name – it is usually the father’s name, with an “-ova” at the end. We told her about Connor’s middle name, being my maiden name. We told her about my grandmother, Helen, so she could use “Olena”, or “Lena”, the Ukrainian version of Helen, “Neva”, from Jeff’s mother’s name, or “Michelle”(male version Michael), which Jeff and all his siblings have as their middle names (so that would be naming her after Jeff, which Ukrainian custom…). She said she had talked with her brother (15 years old and living with HIS father), about it, and they had talked about using her younger sister’s name as her middle name. She has not seen her in awhile, but has regular visits from her brother. She is thinking about it this. We are pleased to keep whatever part of her past she wants, and it would be a lovely tribute to her little sister.
The brother is sorry to see her go, but realizes that her opportunities are very limited if she stays here, as there isn’t any family for her to take her in. She has a half-brother and a half-sister, but the means are not available to provide for her. So, he is approving of her to be our daughter, as long as we promise to stay in touch with him. We are delighted that she has connection with family here! It is healthier for her, and will be a great reason for her to keep her Russian language skills. In Kiev, everyone speaks Ukrainian, but understands Russian; they are similar. Here in Mariupol, almost everyone reads, writes, and is educated in Russian, but perhaps speaks Ukrainian at home.
Of course, there are a bunch of details that Jeff will blog about, but there is one other critical, emotional impacting, insightful, powerful event I wanted to write about. All along, since we first met Anastasia, I felt that “THIS IS MY DAUGHTER”… “What is my daughter doing in Ukraine?” We have felt a powerful connection to her. She seemed to like us, too!
At the end of the day, Anastasia had to go, so off she went, with hugs, and kisses, and good-byes, and more hugs, and smiles, and waves… she finally walked out the door, then waved one more time.
We were in the green room, packing up our belongings. Our translator told us about an incident the happened during the four months since we saw her last:
A Ukrainian couple had come to adopt Anastasia. She was still on the SDA registry. Until ALL your home study, paperwork, your entire dossier is done, translated, sent in to the SDA, and approved (i.e.: you get an appointment date with SDA - which happened the latter half of September for us), the child is still available. It is a first come, first served system. She was on the local registry for a couple months, then on the Ukrainian national registry for a year; she just became available around the end of August/beginning September for International adoption.
Sometime during August/early September, a couple came to spend their time with Nastiya. They wanted to adopt her….. SHE SAID “NO”!
Oh, boy, here I go again… tears welled up in my eyes. What? This child could have stayed in Ukraine, with her native language & culture, and still see her brother… and…. She said “NO”??!!??
Yes, the translator told us, Anastasia talks about us all the time, about what we did together, about us coming to get her, about us getting approval to adopt her. The translator said Anastasia is very excited about us. We were pleasantly surprised that she, too, feels the connection to us, as we do to her. I was shocked, to say the least. I felt honored. I felt a great wave of relief! We were that close to losing her, but she had faith in us, that we would do what we said we’d do, that we were indeed the right family for her, that she would be our daughter! What a brave little girl! At 10 years old, to have an opportunity to leave the orphanage with a Ukrainian family, but to stay put and have faith that we would come for her.
A very big decision for a very little girl! Okay, now I’m crying.
I’m so proud of her – it seems that she loves us too!!
Jeff – Wednesday, October 21
I love our translator – she is absolutely fabulous. A few more details before we head out the door would be useful
We headed out in the car with the husband of the usual driver in Mariupol. I guess the car that was normally used needed some repairs, so the usual driver was taking care of that. So off we go to get copies of the documents and then a quick stop at the inspector to get the local approval to visit the orphanage. Step two of the process complete! The inspector was so busy, she did not have the time to interview us, and so off we went to the orphanage.
Around 10-10:15, we turned down a tiny street and into a parking lot, and there was the familiar front door with the bright yellow entryway around it. We’ve seen so many pictures that I felt like we had been there before! So what’s the first thing we did? Of course – we took our OWN picture of the doorway. We then went inside; there were stairs just in front of us and a long hallway next to the stairs. To the left is a hallway with the offices; director, assistant director, etc., and to the right are two rooms where we would spend the majority of our time in the orphanage. The first room was fairly large with a couch, a piano, some plants, and an African grey parrot. Continue through that room, and you get to The Green Room. I feel like it needs capital letters after all the different journeys we have read describing the orphanage. But they were both quite comfortable – we spent part of our visit on the couch in the first room, and then quite a bit of time in The Green Room with Nastiya. Oh yeah – you read Sue’s description above, right? So here we were – almost exactly three months to the day since Nastiya had left the US. Of course the first month or so of that time had been crammed full with the paperwork chase, and of course the doctor’s appointments, court record visits (divorce papers for Jeff, etc. marriage certificate for Jeff and Sue!), home study appointments, notary visits, lawyer discussions, and all the rest. The next chunk of time was spent sending the documents to Ukraine, waiting for the date…getting the date…waiting to travel…traveling…
After all that process, after 23+ hours of travel to get to Kiev, after four days in Kiev to get the right papers, after a plane ride and two hour car ride to Mariupol: finally the reason for all of this effort walks in the door and immediately lights up and runs for a hug from her “mama”. A huge weight came off my shoulders: we had made it through all of the process, we had made it through all of the waiting, we had come for the girl, and it all came together in that one instant: this girl will be coming home with us as our daughter.
Just before Nastiya came in, we spent some time with the assistant director and the doctor. They read through all of the files with us: medical history, family history, brothers and sisters and current status of each, living conditions prior to and since she has come to the orphanage. There were lots of valuable details provided during this session. We did bring a small digital recorder so that we captured everything they said. Our interpreter was there, of course, so we got the greater majority of the information, but this way we can go back and listen to it. (Thanks to the notes and blogs that suggested we bring the recorder)
The time with Nastiya was just a blur. We talked about her name (I was truly surprised that she chose the Anglican pronunciation and spelling), we gave her some gifts we had brought with us, we played Uno (she made sure to stick me with all of the “bad” cards” – still loves to tease me – same girl!), we showed her pictures, and when the inspector arrived and asked her if she wanted to spend time with us, she very emphatically said yes and said that she wanted to be our daughter. She also showed some of the pictures to the interpreter and one of her caregivers and referred to Connor as her brother.
We did also get to see some of the other children that had come to visit families in the US, and we were able to give them the gifts and messages that their respective parents had given us to pass along to the kids. It was kind of amusing: the inspector supposedly doesn’t know that these kids have been to the US. When we filed the paperwork with the Ukrainian government, of course we filed a “known child” application, meaning we knew who we were coming for. So of course they asked how we knew here, and we openly discussed the visit to our home. But now in Mariupol, the inspector doesn’t know that we had Nastiya as a guest, and she’s not supposed to know. So all the sudden the assistant director came flying in the room while all these kids were looking at and showing their gifts to each other, and she started talking very excitedly. The kids got very animated, collected their stuff, and disappeared in a heartbeat. We thought we’d done something wrong. Turns out the inspector was on her way in!
The time was over in a blink – as Susie describes. Lots of hugs and smiles, “zoftra”, “paka” (tomorrow, see you later). Off went Nastiya and away we went to the supermarket. We picked up a bottle of champagne (our interpreter’s favorite) to celebrate!
One other quick note on the day: lunch was fantastic! Our interpreter took us to a Ukrainian restaurant named after a folk tale. She told us the story – I’ll have to find it and add a link to this blog. The gist of the story was about a boy who made a deal with the devil to win the heart of his girl, who had told him she would love him if he brought her a pair of the queen’s shoes. (I may have a detail or two wrong – but the queen’s shoes, the girlfriend and the devil were all in there somewhere – language barrier). Anyway, we had borscht (wonderful), some sort of pork with mustard (spicy & very tasty), and a sort of ravioli-type pasta. Ours were filled with meat, and our interpreter got them filled with cherries. The meal came with lots of sour cream and brown bread. Fantastic.
Day 6 – Meet with Anastasiya - Mariupol
Here we are, at the orphanage. I’m sitting in the green room, waiting to see “what’s next”, when the door opens, and the Assistant Director is standing there with Anastasiya. The last time I saw her, she was turning and waving good-bye at the SFO airport, going through security. I waved, smiled, got up and ran over to her at the same time she ran toward me. I threw my arms around her, and, not letting go, spun her around. I didn’t ever want to let her go again! I kissed her head, I patted her hair; I wanted to drink her in. It is a surreal moment. I hadn’t seen her since July 25th. I kept looking at her, she kept looking at me. The same dancing eyes, the same cute grin, but she looked so pale, so fragile.
It’s all a blur now, but we talked, using our translator. We showed pictures on Jeff’s computer. We asked her about school. They are on holiday this week, but I cannot tell which holiday, because in Kiev it is the following week and here it is this week. She was a little hesitant at first, but opened up, and spoke a lot more, realizing she had an interpreter at her disposal.
We had “the talk” about names. First, we asked her about her last name. She wanted “Stilwell”, of course.
Then we asked her about her first name. “Keep Anastasiya”? Yes, she wanted to keep Anastasiya as her first name. Then we showed her the two “Americanized” spellings of the name:
ANASTASIYA versus ANASTASIA
We told her you can still pronounce it “ah-nah-sta-CEE-yah”, regardless of which way she spelled it. We pronounced the Anglicized Anastasia, and said this was a Russian princess, and many people know the name “Anastasia”, but said of course she could keep the other spelling, Anastasiya. To our very great surprise, she chose ANASTASIA, and stated that she wanted it pronounced “ah-na-STAY-jah”. I’m not sure about my phonetic thing here, but it’s the way you normally pronounce Anastasia, but instead of “Anna-“, it starts with the Russian-sounding “Ana-“.
What about the middle name? In Ukraine, they say it bad luck for a girl to have a female middle name – it is usually the father’s name, with an “-ova” at the end. We told her about Connor’s middle name, being my maiden name. We told her about my grandmother, Helen, so she could use “Olena”, or “Lena”, the Ukrainian version of Helen, “Neva”, from Jeff’s mother’s name, or “Michelle”(male version Michael), which Jeff and all his siblings have as their middle names (so that would be naming her after Jeff, which Ukrainian custom…). She said she had talked with her brother (15 years old and living with HIS father), about it, and they had talked about using her younger sister’s name as her middle name. She has not seen her in awhile, but has regular visits from her brother. She is thinking about it this. We are pleased to keep whatever part of her past she wants, and it would be a lovely tribute to her little sister.
The brother is sorry to see her go, but realizes that her opportunities are very limited if she stays here, as there isn’t any family for her to take her in. She has a half-brother and a half-sister, but the means are not available to provide for her. So, he is approving of her to be our daughter, as long as we promise to stay in touch with him. We are delighted that she has connection with family here! It is healthier for her, and will be a great reason for her to keep her Russian language skills. In Kiev, everyone speaks Ukrainian, but understands Russian; they are similar. Here in Mariupol, almost everyone reads, writes, and is educated in Russian, but perhaps speaks Ukrainian at home.
Of course, there are a bunch of details that Jeff will blog about, but there is one other critical, emotional impacting, insightful, powerful event I wanted to write about. All along, since we first met Anastasia, I felt that “THIS IS MY DAUGHTER”… “What is my daughter doing in Ukraine?” We have felt a powerful connection to her. She seemed to like us, too!
At the end of the day, Anastasia had to go, so off she went, with hugs, and kisses, and good-byes, and more hugs, and smiles, and waves… she finally walked out the door, then waved one more time.
We were in the green room, packing up our belongings. Our translator told us about an incident the happened during the four months since we saw her last:
A Ukrainian couple had come to adopt Anastasia. She was still on the SDA registry. Until ALL your home study, paperwork, your entire dossier is done, translated, sent in to the SDA, and approved (i.e.: you get an appointment date with SDA - which happened the latter half of September for us), the child is still available. It is a first come, first served system. She was on the local registry for a couple months, then on the Ukrainian national registry for a year; she just became available around the end of August/beginning September for International adoption.
Sometime during August/early September, a couple came to spend their time with Nastiya. They wanted to adopt her….. SHE SAID “NO”!
Oh, boy, here I go again… tears welled up in my eyes. What? This child could have stayed in Ukraine, with her native language & culture, and still see her brother… and…. She said “NO”??!!??
Yes, the translator told us, Anastasia talks about us all the time, about what we did together, about us coming to get her, about us getting approval to adopt her. The translator said Anastasia is very excited about us. We were pleasantly surprised that she, too, feels the connection to us, as we do to her. I was shocked, to say the least. I felt honored. I felt a great wave of relief! We were that close to losing her, but she had faith in us, that we would do what we said we’d do, that we were indeed the right family for her, that she would be our daughter! What a brave little girl! At 10 years old, to have an opportunity to leave the orphanage with a Ukrainian family, but to stay put and have faith that we would come for her.
A very big decision for a very little girl! Okay, now I’m crying.
I’m so proud of her – it seems that she loves us too!!
Jeff – Wednesday, October 21
I love our translator – she is absolutely fabulous. A few more details before we head out the door would be useful
We headed out in the car with the husband of the usual driver in Mariupol. I guess the car that was normally used needed some repairs, so the usual driver was taking care of that. So off we go to get copies of the documents and then a quick stop at the inspector to get the local approval to visit the orphanage. Step two of the process complete! The inspector was so busy, she did not have the time to interview us, and so off we went to the orphanage.
Around 10-10:15, we turned down a tiny street and into a parking lot, and there was the familiar front door with the bright yellow entryway around it. We’ve seen so many pictures that I felt like we had been there before! So what’s the first thing we did? Of course – we took our OWN picture of the doorway. We then went inside; there were stairs just in front of us and a long hallway next to the stairs. To the left is a hallway with the offices; director, assistant director, etc., and to the right are two rooms where we would spend the majority of our time in the orphanage. The first room was fairly large with a couch, a piano, some plants, and an African grey parrot. Continue through that room, and you get to The Green Room. I feel like it needs capital letters after all the different journeys we have read describing the orphanage. But they were both quite comfortable – we spent part of our visit on the couch in the first room, and then quite a bit of time in The Green Room with Nastiya. Oh yeah – you read Sue’s description above, right? So here we were – almost exactly three months to the day since Nastiya had left the US. Of course the first month or so of that time had been crammed full with the paperwork chase, and of course the doctor’s appointments, court record visits (divorce papers for Jeff, etc. marriage certificate for Jeff and Sue!), home study appointments, notary visits, lawyer discussions, and all the rest. The next chunk of time was spent sending the documents to Ukraine, waiting for the date…getting the date…waiting to travel…traveling…
After all that process, after 23+ hours of travel to get to Kiev, after four days in Kiev to get the right papers, after a plane ride and two hour car ride to Mariupol: finally the reason for all of this effort walks in the door and immediately lights up and runs for a hug from her “mama”. A huge weight came off my shoulders: we had made it through all of the process, we had made it through all of the waiting, we had come for the girl, and it all came together in that one instant: this girl will be coming home with us as our daughter.
Just before Nastiya came in, we spent some time with the assistant director and the doctor. They read through all of the files with us: medical history, family history, brothers and sisters and current status of each, living conditions prior to and since she has come to the orphanage. There were lots of valuable details provided during this session. We did bring a small digital recorder so that we captured everything they said. Our interpreter was there, of course, so we got the greater majority of the information, but this way we can go back and listen to it. (Thanks to the notes and blogs that suggested we bring the recorder)
The time with Nastiya was just a blur. We talked about her name (I was truly surprised that she chose the Anglican pronunciation and spelling), we gave her some gifts we had brought with us, we played Uno (she made sure to stick me with all of the “bad” cards” – still loves to tease me – same girl!), we showed her pictures, and when the inspector arrived and asked her if she wanted to spend time with us, she very emphatically said yes and said that she wanted to be our daughter. She also showed some of the pictures to the interpreter and one of her caregivers and referred to Connor as her brother.
We did also get to see some of the other children that had come to visit families in the US, and we were able to give them the gifts and messages that their respective parents had given us to pass along to the kids. It was kind of amusing: the inspector supposedly doesn’t know that these kids have been to the US. When we filed the paperwork with the Ukrainian government, of course we filed a “known child” application, meaning we knew who we were coming for. So of course they asked how we knew here, and we openly discussed the visit to our home. But now in Mariupol, the inspector doesn’t know that we had Nastiya as a guest, and she’s not supposed to know. So all the sudden the assistant director came flying in the room while all these kids were looking at and showing their gifts to each other, and she started talking very excitedly. The kids got very animated, collected their stuff, and disappeared in a heartbeat. We thought we’d done something wrong. Turns out the inspector was on her way in!
The time was over in a blink – as Susie describes. Lots of hugs and smiles, “zoftra”, “paka” (tomorrow, see you later). Off went Nastiya and away we went to the supermarket. We picked up a bottle of champagne (our interpreter’s favorite) to celebrate!
One other quick note on the day: lunch was fantastic! Our interpreter took us to a Ukrainian restaurant named after a folk tale. She told us the story – I’ll have to find it and add a link to this blog. The gist of the story was about a boy who made a deal with the devil to win the heart of his girl, who had told him she would love him if he brought her a pair of the queen’s shoes. (I may have a detail or two wrong – but the queen’s shoes, the girlfriend and the devil were all in there somewhere – language barrier). Anyway, we had borscht (wonderful), some sort of pork with mustard (spicy & very tasty), and a sort of ravioli-type pasta. Ours were filled with meat, and our interpreter got them filled with cherries. The meal came with lots of sour cream and brown bread. Fantastic.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sue - Day 5 - Travel from Kiev to Mariupol
Sue – Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Day 5 – Kiev to Donetsk to Mariupol
We slept in today, since the driver was not picking us up until 3:00pm to go to SDA to pick up the approval documents. The docs are not ready until after 4:00 or 5:00pm, so you just have to wait. You cannot take the train to Mariupol, because it leaves at 4:30, and there would be no way to get the docs and then drive to the train station and get the 4:30 train. I was looking forward to a private sleeping car for 16 hours (romantic), but it was kind of silly to take a 12 hour train to Donetsk (leaving later, around 8-9pm), arrive at 9-10 in the morning, get your bags, and THEN drive 2 hours to Mariupol, and not start the official business until after noon. So we fly.
The day started out slowly – no alarm clocks – and we had a “clean up” day for eating… eggs, great – toast, leftover steak, rice, banana, and whatever else we could use up over breakfast and lunch. It was a drizzly day, and we had to pack EVERYTHING back in those suitcases… did all this stuff really fit into those 5 suitcases? Hard to believe! I shuffled and juggled all the items; clothes, toys, candies, toiletries, emergency supplies, vitamins, etc, etc, etc… until no bag weighed more than 50 pounds… for check in. It took awhile, but we managed to do it before 3:00pm.
Our driver took us back downtown to the SDA office. We waited in line with about 6-7 other families. It was rainy and a little chilly, which made the cobblestone streets slippery and the pathways a little muddy. Unless you are a professional high-heel die-hard, then I would recommend NOT wearing high heels. I wear flats, so it didn’t bother me, but I walked gingerly across the muddy areas and wet cobblestone anyway… no sense coming this far and breaking your arm and not making your appointment! Okay, I worry. The actual appointment was only about 10 minutes or less. Maria, the lovely clerk from the day before, was now downstairs in a little windowed office right by the entrance door. She was still kind and gentle, and had a big “Zdrahst-wicha” and smile for every family. She makes you feel like YOU are very special and she is happy to be helping JUST YOU. She was wonderful!
So after a 30 minute wait, and 5-10 minutes of signatures and passport-checking, off we go with the paperwork; pick up our translator, and long drive to the airport (an hour or so in rush hour with rain…). It was nice to see Kiev again; each time you notice something different. For me, it is always a shock to see the dichotomy of absolute poverty and relative wealth all in one city block. Here, a new high-rise going up, or shiny lighted store with neon lights, and the next is a run-down 50 year old high-rise apartment building badly in need of TLC, with clothes hanging out the window on a makeshift clothesline. The other thing htat fascinated me is the highway/freeway going to the airport has these large, neon lights for the route number, speed limit, exit number (?)… They are right across the highway (like the large green signs with white lettering in USA), with brilliant blue and red lights across a bland background; very pretty.
The airport for local Ukrainian traffic is small, with only 4 Gates, but very, very busy! We waited in the small café (they had sushi but we were not that brave) for about an hour, then checked in our 5 bags. The two bags that Jeff and I normally carry on were too big for the smaller airlines. BE AWARE… it is VERY SMALL for carry on! So have your valuables in a backpack or briefcase or small travel case (you know, the kind grandma used to visit with), because that 19”x9”x14” that US airlines call “Carry On” will NOT be here!! The flights do not go to Mariupol; you fly to Donetsk (9:00pm) and then drive about 2 hours to Mariupol (1:00AM).
The funny thing about the airport is you walk down the stairway from the plain to the tarmac, walk to a bus, and the bus drives a short distance to the terminal. You are packed in like sardines, and you wish more people showered daily, like you do, or stressed about things less… if you get my “drift”. Then when the bus stops at the terminal, you wait for your bags, which arrive in the large baggage cart. We had an EXCELLENT driver who knew when to go around potholes or slow down for police radar traps, and although the roads weren’t “smooth” they certainly were no worse than many in and around San Jose.
We stopped at grocery store for water and milk, and then to the apartment – short wait for our “host” to bring the keys. The apartment is lovely by any country standards. It has beautiful wood trim, tall ceilings, modern kitchen, tiled bath, and is decorated very lavishly. There was no toilet paper anywhere we oculd find when we arrived, so my two rolls of “emergency toilet paper” I had been keeping (one in my purse, one in my checked bag) sure came in handy.
NOTE: Have toilet paper handy with you, in your carry-on bag… some places have it, and others do NOT. I used the one from my purse on at least two occasions so far, and we are only day 5 ( only 12 more days to go…). Speaking of toilets; the apartments have real toilets; public toilets are a lot like Cambodia (but without the mud and chickens), where there is a tiled bathroom, with a trench-like opening ON THE FLOOR. Think deep-knee squats. (Ladies, if you wear pantyhose, you are on your own…). Most places, the paper goes in a waste can, not the flush toilet. Okay, I’m done. Gross part over.
We were VERY tired at 1:30 in the morning when we checked in. We were so disoriented, that neither Jeff nor I could find our toothpaste…. (Didn’t we just pack it 6 hours ago??) I felt grungy form being jammed into a small plane and crowded bus, and sweaty, long, rainy rides, so I showered (nice, consistent-temperature, wonderful shower!) and crashed hard!
Tomorrow we see Anastasiya for the first time since July…
“Jeff…. I’m so excited!”
“Ya toe-sha (Me, too!)”
TOMORROW!!
Notes from Jeff:
I'm adding these notes on a computer at the internet cafe. I have a lot more respect for those who have gone before and have not had the luxury of surfing on a bottlegged connection in the apartment. We haven't found a network in Mariupol that is available from the apartment here like we did in Kiev. Sue had typed everything above on word before we left for the orphanage this morning. It will be much harder to stay on target with timely posts this way. We may go ahead and purchase an internet wireless access card - it's pricey, but we're both suffering from email withdrawal. Aside from the personal stuff that we both need to keep up with (carpool changes, Connor communication), there are also business issues and other communications that just need to occur. Our interpreter just checked this out - it looks like somewhere around 1500 grivna ($190 US), we could have unlimited internet for the rest of the trip. If it's really a purchase of the card, we may be able to give it to our facilitator for use by future families. Heck - that's how we got our phone for use here!
OK - about Tuesday:
Not much to add. I would emphasize what Susie said above about getting to work. We just casually asked our translator if she was glad that we flew instead of taking the train. Her comment was that yes, she was very glad, because that meant she could get to work on our documents first thing in the morning. Now, I'm not sure if doing this in the afternoon would have just been an inconvenience, or if it could have concievably extended the process, but of course we want every opportunity to make sure everything goes smoothly! So overall I think the flight was an easy choice - for us.
We have decided to work on the next post from home as well - haven't decided about the card yet, but Susie really wants to work from home. Lots to add Wednesday was an action-packed day!
Day 5 – Kiev to Donetsk to Mariupol
We slept in today, since the driver was not picking us up until 3:00pm to go to SDA to pick up the approval documents. The docs are not ready until after 4:00 or 5:00pm, so you just have to wait. You cannot take the train to Mariupol, because it leaves at 4:30, and there would be no way to get the docs and then drive to the train station and get the 4:30 train. I was looking forward to a private sleeping car for 16 hours (romantic), but it was kind of silly to take a 12 hour train to Donetsk (leaving later, around 8-9pm), arrive at 9-10 in the morning, get your bags, and THEN drive 2 hours to Mariupol, and not start the official business until after noon. So we fly.
The day started out slowly – no alarm clocks – and we had a “clean up” day for eating… eggs, great – toast, leftover steak, rice, banana, and whatever else we could use up over breakfast and lunch. It was a drizzly day, and we had to pack EVERYTHING back in those suitcases… did all this stuff really fit into those 5 suitcases? Hard to believe! I shuffled and juggled all the items; clothes, toys, candies, toiletries, emergency supplies, vitamins, etc, etc, etc… until no bag weighed more than 50 pounds… for check in. It took awhile, but we managed to do it before 3:00pm.
Our driver took us back downtown to the SDA office. We waited in line with about 6-7 other families. It was rainy and a little chilly, which made the cobblestone streets slippery and the pathways a little muddy. Unless you are a professional high-heel die-hard, then I would recommend NOT wearing high heels. I wear flats, so it didn’t bother me, but I walked gingerly across the muddy areas and wet cobblestone anyway… no sense coming this far and breaking your arm and not making your appointment! Okay, I worry. The actual appointment was only about 10 minutes or less. Maria, the lovely clerk from the day before, was now downstairs in a little windowed office right by the entrance door. She was still kind and gentle, and had a big “Zdrahst-wicha” and smile for every family. She makes you feel like YOU are very special and she is happy to be helping JUST YOU. She was wonderful!
So after a 30 minute wait, and 5-10 minutes of signatures and passport-checking, off we go with the paperwork; pick up our translator, and long drive to the airport (an hour or so in rush hour with rain…). It was nice to see Kiev again; each time you notice something different. For me, it is always a shock to see the dichotomy of absolute poverty and relative wealth all in one city block. Here, a new high-rise going up, or shiny lighted store with neon lights, and the next is a run-down 50 year old high-rise apartment building badly in need of TLC, with clothes hanging out the window on a makeshift clothesline. The other thing htat fascinated me is the highway/freeway going to the airport has these large, neon lights for the route number, speed limit, exit number (?)… They are right across the highway (like the large green signs with white lettering in USA), with brilliant blue and red lights across a bland background; very pretty.
The airport for local Ukrainian traffic is small, with only 4 Gates, but very, very busy! We waited in the small café (they had sushi but we were not that brave) for about an hour, then checked in our 5 bags. The two bags that Jeff and I normally carry on were too big for the smaller airlines. BE AWARE… it is VERY SMALL for carry on! So have your valuables in a backpack or briefcase or small travel case (you know, the kind grandma used to visit with), because that 19”x9”x14” that US airlines call “Carry On” will NOT be here!! The flights do not go to Mariupol; you fly to Donetsk (9:00pm) and then drive about 2 hours to Mariupol (1:00AM).
The funny thing about the airport is you walk down the stairway from the plain to the tarmac, walk to a bus, and the bus drives a short distance to the terminal. You are packed in like sardines, and you wish more people showered daily, like you do, or stressed about things less… if you get my “drift”. Then when the bus stops at the terminal, you wait for your bags, which arrive in the large baggage cart. We had an EXCELLENT driver who knew when to go around potholes or slow down for police radar traps, and although the roads weren’t “smooth” they certainly were no worse than many in and around San Jose.
We stopped at grocery store for water and milk, and then to the apartment – short wait for our “host” to bring the keys. The apartment is lovely by any country standards. It has beautiful wood trim, tall ceilings, modern kitchen, tiled bath, and is decorated very lavishly. There was no toilet paper anywhere we oculd find when we arrived, so my two rolls of “emergency toilet paper” I had been keeping (one in my purse, one in my checked bag) sure came in handy.
NOTE: Have toilet paper handy with you, in your carry-on bag… some places have it, and others do NOT. I used the one from my purse on at least two occasions so far, and we are only day 5 ( only 12 more days to go…). Speaking of toilets; the apartments have real toilets; public toilets are a lot like Cambodia (but without the mud and chickens), where there is a tiled bathroom, with a trench-like opening ON THE FLOOR. Think deep-knee squats. (Ladies, if you wear pantyhose, you are on your own…). Most places, the paper goes in a waste can, not the flush toilet. Okay, I’m done. Gross part over.
We were VERY tired at 1:30 in the morning when we checked in. We were so disoriented, that neither Jeff nor I could find our toothpaste…. (Didn’t we just pack it 6 hours ago??) I felt grungy form being jammed into a small plane and crowded bus, and sweaty, long, rainy rides, so I showered (nice, consistent-temperature, wonderful shower!) and crashed hard!
Tomorrow we see Anastasiya for the first time since July…
“Jeff…. I’m so excited!”
“Ya toe-sha (Me, too!)”
TOMORROW!!
Notes from Jeff:
I'm adding these notes on a computer at the internet cafe. I have a lot more respect for those who have gone before and have not had the luxury of surfing on a bottlegged connection in the apartment. We haven't found a network in Mariupol that is available from the apartment here like we did in Kiev. Sue had typed everything above on word before we left for the orphanage this morning. It will be much harder to stay on target with timely posts this way. We may go ahead and purchase an internet wireless access card - it's pricey, but we're both suffering from email withdrawal. Aside from the personal stuff that we both need to keep up with (carpool changes, Connor communication), there are also business issues and other communications that just need to occur. Our interpreter just checked this out - it looks like somewhere around 1500 grivna ($190 US), we could have unlimited internet for the rest of the trip. If it's really a purchase of the card, we may be able to give it to our facilitator for use by future families. Heck - that's how we got our phone for use here!
OK - about Tuesday:
Not much to add. I would emphasize what Susie said above about getting to work. We just casually asked our translator if she was glad that we flew instead of taking the train. Her comment was that yes, she was very glad, because that meant she could get to work on our documents first thing in the morning. Now, I'm not sure if doing this in the afternoon would have just been an inconvenience, or if it could have concievably extended the process, but of course we want every opportunity to make sure everything goes smoothly! So overall I think the flight was an easy choice - for us.
We have decided to work on the next post from home as well - haven't decided about the card yet, but Susie really wants to work from home. Lots to add Wednesday was an action-packed day!
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