Jeff: Learning English

I "borrowed" this from the Garrett's blog - thanks Matt! (Thanks for the Offender and Offendee post as well - I was in tears after remembering some Edits from my own loving wife. Can I help it if my version didn't always jive with the real events as seen by Sue?)


http://garrettadoption.blogspot.com/2008/10/god-bless-america.html


Last night we had to have a Russian speaking IT specialist come set-up the Internet in our flat. It was during this time that we discovered that, indeed, our precious 15 year old "daughter" DOES speak and understand English much better than we thought. She became frustrated with my inability to communicate with this guy so she, unwittingly, chimed in with her own translating services; interpreting all to well. It occurred to her what was happening and she went bonkers, laughing, running around yelling(of course, all in Russian with a lot of, "...nyet, no English..." and I'm sure some other choice Russian words as well)-too late!! Exposed. What a "twerp"!!!! I now call her,"..little intwerperter...". 


I've been pretty amused by our little sweetie since she's been here.She goes to great lengths to make sure she doesn't understand English - until she forgets:-) This is actually fading fairly quickly - Anastasia had really come a LONG way in comprehension in two weeks, but it was one of the more interesting things I noticed as part of the adjustment. It seemed like controlling how much understanding was in evidence was one of the coping techniques - maintaining some control!


The language and communication aspect is actually going much smoother than I expected. Nastiya showed very little interest in learning English the first time she stayed with us. I was a bit worried that this would continue once we had her here permanently. It hasn't - she continues to learn new words quickly and she's willing to use more of the words daily. For the first week she was a bit shy about speaking English words. That seems to be fading quickly. I have also continued to listen to some Russian language tapes, and I try to use some of the stuff I'm learning - pick a word or two to interject. I think Nastiya appreciates this - she also seems to have fun correcting my pronunciation. She's given up on Sue - unless she wants to have a laugh. Sue has fun with it. Last night we learned that "e-shoe-a" is "more". (Pardon my spelling, but that's as close as I can come to what Nastiya actually said). Sue looked at Nastiya with a smile and said "new shoes?" OK - so I made that part up, but that's about the way it goes with those two - then Nastiya collapses in a fit of giggles. Very cool.

While we were at Connor's band competition last weekend, Nastiya asked me for the electronic translator. I changed it to Russian to English translation, and she typed in a word, which she then showed me - "utensil". I looked at her quizzically, and she started over. This time, when she showed it to me, it said "depillatory". I of course completely lost it. I could not figure out how those two words would fit in a conversation or a request that she could possibly have. Pretty soon we were both laughing so hard we couldn't talk. When Sue asked me what we were laughing at, it just made it worse!


 One of the traditions in our house is watching the Macy's parade. Sue explained some of this to Nastiya using a web translator yesterday morning. The subject came up again at dinner, and I pulled out the R/E dictionary to look up parade. When I showed that word to Nastiya, I have enough Russian to understand that she gave my the typical "dad, you're silly" look as she told me quite clearly (in Russian), "Yeah, I get it - we're going to watch the parade on TV in the morning!" My son looked at her, looked at me, and said "she's diabolical". I guess the thing that pleases me as much as her speed in learning English is the fact that she's willing to speak to us in Russian in the mean time. For the first several days, we got a lot of pointing and grunts. We made it clear that we would speak together - in one language or the other, and now she does.


I must say that overall, the process is going quite smoothly for us. It has been extremely helpful to read some of the blogs of those ahead of us in the process, as well as talking to others who have been through this for a longer period of time. Thank you all for your kind words and your wisdom and your sharing of experiences. This has certainly helped set my expectations and my understanding of where we are and what would work at this stage.


This is not to say that we don't have a world-class pouter on our hands. Not having had a girl to raise, it's very interesting to watch the behavior when the princess doesn't get her way. I was made to pay last night - Nastiya wanted to break one of the minor rules in our house. I held my ground, even though it was minor for both of us, it was something that I had to pay for. I received the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Not as bad as some others, but clearly Dad had mis-behaved.

They're home!

Jeff: On the same Continent!

"a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k..."

This was my greeting on the phone tonight from my daughter. They made it - Sue and Nastiya are on the same continent - finally! I could finally speak to Sue for some time - her cell phone works again:-) They are staying overnight near La Guardia, and I will pick them up around noon tomorrow. Dishes are done, floors are vacuumed, cat box is clean, pillows are fluffed on the couches...

So the best part of the conversation? Nastiya's first request after she recited the part of the alphabet that coincides with her progress in the sticker book was to speak to Connor. I love those kids!

Jeff: It's DONE!

I just got off the phone with Sue - we are done! She picked up the visa at 3PM Thursday afternoon (5 AM Pacific time!) and they are free to come home! Sue sounds relaxed for the first time this week! Sue said the Embassy was a snap - even without me there. One quick question about whether it would just be in Sue's name - quickly resolved.

Just a quick aside for other future travelers: Sue had purchased a pre-school alphabet book - with stickers - to take along as an activity. Her doubting husband had said that it was too young for Nastiya. He was wrong again. Nastiya is really enjoying the stickers - she won't put the book down. I also got a quick review of the alphabet from nastiya while I was on the phone with Sue. Lesson to Jeff: moms are much better at guessing what their kids will like. (Except for Connor and motorcycles. OK - she knew that, too - just didn't want to acknowledge it)

Flight time 2:15 Friday, home by 12:30 on Saturday!

Jeff: Phone calls from Kiev

(picture "borrowed" - not from Susie)

Things you don't want to hear from your wife when she is talking to you from an apartment in Kiev: "uh-oh - stay right there!" just before she drops the phone on the floor.

It's ok - she didn't burn the place to the ground after all - the pot she forgot about on the stove was fine.

Susie got her wish: after running around all day yesterday like maniacs to get the paperwork done in Donets'k, the flight from Donets'k didn't leave until 9:30. So they took the overnight train from Donets'k to Kiev. Obviously it's better to spend 12 hours on a train rather than wait three hours at an airport - well, at least if you're Susie, it is. I'll leave the details to Sue again, but of course she loved it. The interpreter - not so much. Sorry Sue - I'm not overly disappointed to have missed it. But I am happy that you got your wish! (apparently the attendant was very intrigued with Nastiya's story - they talked for some time. She's quite the charmer.

This morning was all things medical - Sue said it took over three hours to get that part taken care of - after arriving at 7:30 and having to wait until the place opened. Sue and Nastiya are back in the Kiev apartment this evening, enjoying a little peace and quiet after the very busy last 36 hours.

Sue did mention that they were able to fax the paperwork they needed to Kiev yesterday since the Embassy was closed today, so hopefully we're still on schedule. Sue will meet with the facilitator in a couple hours to discuss plans for tomorrow. Keep them in your prayers!

Jeff: T plus 10 hours

We got the girl!

Susie picked up Nastiya, her birth certificate, the court papers, and her passport. On her way to Kiev!

Thank you, God!

Jeff: T minus 10 hours

So here I am sitting comfortably in my home office in San Jose, while my sweetie is 6,417 miles away (oh yeah - "sweeties" - plural!). Just a quick update, and I hope Susie will be able to supply "woman on the scene" updates as she travels. I know it will be tougher for her - she is not carrying a laptop like I did on our first trip.

Anyway, Sue made it to Donets'k on schedule, after taking four segments and being in 5 countries (US, Canada, Germany, Austria, Ukraine) in under 24 hours. Very tired, very sick (Bring back memories, Tracy?), and very annoyed with the way the trip went. Some guy dumped a drink on her while she was sleeping on the plane - end of nap!

Our facilitator called me at about 7:30 this morning to let me know that Sue could not get the SIM chip working in her phone, so I can call the interpreter that is traveling with her. They hope to get her a new phone when she gets to Kiev - we'll see. I asked the facilitator about the rest of the week - he says it's all lined up and on schedule - we should be in good shape.

Brief conversation with Sue - she just relayed what I said above. I'm trying to decide if I should call her around midnight our time - she should be on her way back from Mariupol to Donets'k with our daughter by then:-)

Sue: Day 1 of Second Trip

Sue – Sun Morning 1:00 am November 8th, 2009

Day 1 of Second Trip

Well, I can finally say it: I’m all packed!!

Sorry I haven’t blogged this week, but I was totally wiped out with that nasty lung infection thing. I kept thinking “It hasn’t been over 12 days yet, I don’t need to see the Doctor…”, then when I needed to use an inhaler to breath, I called and made an appointment. Unfortunately, they couldn’t see me Friday, so I went in this morning, and started on a 14 day Avelox (sp??). She was going to only give me 10, and I requested the 14 day (which will wipe out even Pneumonia, if that is what hit me – no time for an x-ray!). It hit me in the chest heavy and hard, which makes you tired, and then sort of spread out to the sinuses, but not sinus pain (pain is all in the chest). She also wants me to use an asthma Albuterol inhaler. It’s for asthma. I take weekly shots for asthma, and I think the air in Mariupol (plus the swing from 70’s and sunny to rainy and 40’s) triggered my allergies, which in turn triggered asthma (which I don’t treat for unless I’m sick…), and then was irritated enough to let in a cold bug.

So Monday, Jeff and I were both wiped! He slowly started catching up with work: I did 5 loads of laundry, did NOT have to drive the carpool, and was grateful I could stay home most of the day. Between the lung infection and the jetlag, I simply have no energy.

Tuesday-Thursday was mostly getting the presents for the people: I did a really nice pen (Waterford) for the orphanage director, and Pierre Cardin pens for the Doctor, Social Worker, Secretary, and other caregivers (inexpensive at Costco in bulk…), and boxes of chocolates. I looked at various types of chocolate, and many are from Belgium, or other European country. I bought those Mauna Loa Chocolates with the nuts, from Hawaii. I thought you couldn’t get farther from Ukraine than Hawaii, so maybe it will be different for them. I also got a scarf and a couple picture frames (very fancy!), and a Russian-English and back again dictionary for the drive in Mariupol (she had told me she wanted one!), plus some vitamins and cold medicines they requested.

Friday was another laundry day – 3 loads – and I’m leaving Connor and Jeff with no dirty laundry for the week ahead. Jeff DOES have the carpool Mon/Wed/Fri, and he picks up Wed and Fri afternoons, plus Connor’s drum lesson, and takes my car to the shop on Mon for maintenance and some repairs (minor this time!).

My long-distance property turnover turned into a mess! The old tenant want’ out until 5 days after their official move out date, and then he piled a pile of garbage in front for the garbage men… they won’t take it like that unless you arrange special pickup, and so on and so forth… Luckily my real estate friend Kathy handled everything that went wrong, so the carpets were cleaned, the locksmith changed the locks, and she made it happen. Thank you, Kathy!

Today I packed a large black suitcase, and the medium brown suitcase (they will nest inside each other on the way home after all the presents are given out. I am trying to bring a carry on suitcase I bought special for “carry on”. It is only 17”x 8” x 13”, so I sure hope they let me carry it on! I will bring my “magic bag”. I got this bag that is a zippered “pouch”. When you start unzipping it, the bag pulls out from inside, and then it becomes a very large tote/zippered carry-all. IT”S GREAT!! I’ve used it in London to hold my umbrella and London Fog coat (I know – terribly dated!), used it to walk through markets in Cambodia, California, and Italy, because you keep throwing stuff in there, and it holds a lot! So, the plan is, if they stop my bag form going onto the international flight, I will pull out the adoption papers, plus the forms I’m bringing for others, plus my travel itinerary, plus my medicines, plus our clothes for the first day…

When you pick up your child form the orphanage, you supply the clothes (right down to the underwear, from what I hear), so I needed to pack the first day of clothes – including sneakers – for her, because if they lost my bags, I’d be out of luck…
I brought 3 days of clothes (in checked bags), and one day of clothes (for Anastasia and for me) in carry on. It made for a bulky bag, due to the big winter coat, hats and gloves, etc. But nothing is going to stop me, and we are on a tight schedule!

Why a tight schedule? Because next Wed is Veteran’s day! And the US Embassy is closed, so it throws us off for a day – I cannot get the great points deal on Sat like I got on Fri, so we are trying to head out on Friday regardless. We have Fri morning – the one British Airways flight to London on the way home is at 2:15. I stay overnight in JFK (New York City) – hopefully my brother will come visit and meet Anastasia briefly, but it is along ride.

As you all may have heard, when we were leaving Kiev last Saturday, October 31st, 2009, many people were wearing the surgical masks both at British Airways and on the plane. I asked, and it turns out there was a swine flu outbreak a few days before. Currently, the country is in quarantine; schools are closed for a week, and some neighboring countries are taking action. But when I got so sick, I never had a fever, only chest pain, so the Doctor today didn’t think it was swine flu. Had a flu shot in Sept for regular flu. This week, around 200 people in Ukraine died, hence the scare. A lot of people cannot afford healthcare, so they do not go on antibiotics for Tuberculosis, they just die from it – many have it; many of the kids test positive for it. You need to do a 6 month antibiotic course if you want to get the “non active TB” out of their body, because it can become active into TB. If active you have to take 4 (yes, four!) different antibiotics for 6-9 months. My antibiotic today cost $90. co-pay, for 14 days. So four antibiotics for 6-9 months would not be affordable for the average Ukrainian. We think Anastasia’ mother may have died from it, since she was only about 30 years old. Very sad, when you have so many people dying from a treatable disease.

The news stated that the swine flu outbreak is in full swing, and unfortunately schools are closed, and the SDA put a hold on adoption referrals – they don’t want people coming into the orphanages and contaminating the kids – they live in such close quarters, that a flu would simply spread like wildfire.

So my prayers go out to all the families whose plans were put on hold – I was told by the coordinator that I would be able to get Anastasia, since as of Tuesday, she is mine and no longer a responsibility of the Ukrainian system. We’ll see.

Here’s a tidbit for you – I will be in 5 countries tomorrow, during 4 flights, 4 different airlines and 24 hours of travel. I leave SFO (USA) on United, to Calgary (Canada), then switch to Luftansa for 9+ hours to Frankfort (Germany), then switch to Austrian Air to Vienna (Austria), then switch to Tyrolean Air to Donets’k (Ukraine). (You getting’ this, camera-man??)

I have already succumbed to the fact that I will never again see the items I so lovingly packed tonight. But I packed in anyway, with the hope that I WILL be able to hand out all my gifts! We bought another UNO for the orphanage, and I’m taking an old one to play while there, plus a new puzzle, and Dominos cards (lightweight). I’m also taking a pre-school workbook; I’m going to try and get her used to the English alphabet, and some words… below her academically, but not on the English learners’ scale.

Well, it’s almost 2:00 am, so I better get some sleep. I’m using almost all of Jeff’s United points to fly business (the economy mostly wasn’t available for the days we needed, and lousy times…), so I may be able to sleep on the Calgary-Frankfort piece… I don’t usually do “business” class, but since I am sooo sick, Jeff thought it better I catch some zzzzz’s rather than save points. I’m going to catch some zzzzz’s right now – I’ll blog at internet café when I can – in the meantime, simply PRAY for me – for healing, for safety (me and Anastasia), health, and a smooth journey. Pray to keep the evil forces from interfering with our plans. Pray that the swine flu blows over and that others can continue their journey.

By the way – today, while I am flying to Ukraine to get my daughter, many churches around the world are celebrating “Orphan Sunday” in their worship. Log into
www.orphansunday.org
Today is a worldwide orphan day, to bring to light the plight of the 143,000,000 (yes, 143 MILLION orphans worldwide).

I challenge each of you to find some way, big or small, to get involved. At least go to the website – there is a lot of information there!

Thank you all who have helped us, and prayed for us. It makes a huge difference, and we appreciate each and every one of you – angels in disguise! Blessings to you all!

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

Jeff -T- 2 days, 11 hours, 22 minutes...

T- 2 days, 11 hours, 22 minutes...

I feel the need to share a quick update as we head into the final phase of the adoption process in Ukraine. Poor Susie is sleeping in this morning - she is still suffering from the cold that she caught in Ukraine. She is going to the doctor this morning. She was wheezing last night - here's hoping it broke during the night, or that the doctor can get her started on something to make the trip easier.
We've been home for 5 full days, with one more date to go until Sue heads back to get Nastiya. I've been trying to get caught up with work while getting over my jetlag. Not sure I've been as successful as I wish. Part of the reason is the time change of course: I'm falling asleep at 8:30 at night, but I'm wide awake at 4 AM.

Sue on the other hand has been on fire with her preparations! In 5 short days, she has caught up on the laundry from 2 full weeks, and she has booked flights, bought gifts for the orphanage staff and our Ukrainian team, packed her gifts as well as the last-minute care packages from the other parents, and done all the other million things that she makes look so easy that I will be frantically trying to figure out next week while she is gone! I don't know - I think I'll keep my day job - Susie's job is tough!

Sue also did a little preparation for Nastiya's arrival and entry into the school system. This also caught me off guard. We walked over to the school, and Sue went in to get the documents we need to sign her up (I waited outside with Falkor). We've got our fingers crossed - the next teach who is "up" for a new student is a teacher who was one of Connor's absolute favorites at the grade school. How cool would that be! But the amazing part was the packet of documents that they handed to Sue to fill out. I kid you not - suddenly the adoption dossier looks easy! Holy smokes - the stuff they want to know just to put the child in a class!

One other thing that has been very time-consuming this week: we had a friend and her kids who came in to look after our cat, Percy, while we were gone. They did a great job, but apparently an hour or so every other day just doesn't satisfy the minimum daily requirements of massage for Percy. He has been extremely "interactive". this week. He's either meowing, clawing at your leg, or getting under foot to make you stop and massage him, scratch his chin, stand next to him while he eats...he has this very funny purr in the mornings - I call it his WD-40 purr. Sounds like a regular purr with the occasional squeaky door sound effect thrown in. My favorite is when he's super happy and we get the purr combined with the under-the-breath vocalizations - he sounds like a tribble!

Connor's Halloween event was a HUGE success. We heard from the neighbors about the lines of people. Someone estimated 300 people came through. Two of our neighbors said they did not go through the Huanted Garage because the lines were too long! Thanks to all who participated in making this a success as well. Hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures from someone who attended!

The level of encouragement that we have received this week has also been very heart-warming. Thank you all for your kind thoughts, prayers, emails, phone calls, etc. It's been very nice talking to the other families that will be following in our footsteps. I've also been reading blogs from trips past. I found a couple blogs with photos from the same orphanage, one of them from two years ago. The director looked the same then as she does now - just dressed down a little for summertime:-) But the people who have gone before or are currently in the process: you guys are an amazing group of people! I really appreciate the support, encouragement, and camaraderie of you guys!

I added a few links - check the bottom of the page if you are interested. One is for Orphan Sunday. As Sue was looking through this site earlier in the week, she ran across a little heart-tug slide-show. One of the facts presented is that there are 143 MILLION orphans in this world. I pointed out that as of last Friday, there are only 142,999,999...I can't get over the joy of this. I'm just so looking forward to having our family in one place!

But the paperwork is done, this trip is just to pick up the girl, right? What could go wrong, right? Oh, boy!

How about a swine flu epidemic sweeping Kiev? David sent out some links to news stories a few days ago - schools have been shut down, and SDA is not giving out authorization to visit orphanages right now. Imagine showing up for your first appointment and being told taht you cannot go visit the orphanage until further notice! What does this mean to us? Hopefully, the answer is nothing, since Nastiya is our legel responsibility as of next Tuesday morning! I told Sue that even if they won't let her in to the orphanage, tell them to send her out and she can change clothes in the van! (You heard the part about the kids not bringing any of their clothes with them, right?) Sue is of course carrying gifts for some the the staff at the orphanage, and some of the other kids that have been here. Guess she'll have to pile them at the door, and someone can come out and get them once Sue and Nastiya have left. Sheesh - a freaking pandemic in the middle of our adoption, and of course many other adoptions, David's program, etc. Let's pray that this blows over quickly and allows us all to get our children!

Oh - did I mention that it's Veteran's Day next Wednesday? And the embassy in Kiev is closed? Our facilitator thinks that we can rush some papers to him on Tuesday afternoon once Sue has it, and get the process started at the embassy on Tuesday, and with a little luck (maybe some prayer work), the visa should still be ready on Thursday, or at least Friday morning. Sue and nastiya head for the airport around 11:30 - it should all work out.

And poor Susie: let's hope the doctor gives her something to help!

So tomorrow I drop her at SFO, and she catches an 8:30 flight to Calgary, then to Frankfurt, then to Vienna, then to Donets'k, arriving Monday afternoon. Five countries and 4 airlines in two days - the joy of saving money and using points! The good news is that she got business class - for about the same points as coach! Well, by checking back, she did find an alternative that was less points, but in her current condition, I told her to burn the points and get some sleep on these flights! That girl needs her rest!

Jeff - Day 17 – Return to California

Jeff – Sunday, November 01, 2009

Day 17 – Return to California

Yeah – we skipped day 16. You don’t really care about the details for our return trip through London. We had dinner with friends in Surrey, and they put us up for the night. Thanks, you guys!

I’m starting this update while on our final segment on the way home – Boston to SFO, where a friend will pick us up. I am absolutely exhausted again – we woke up at 11 PM PST in London, and we get home around 11 PM – almost exactly 24 hours of travel with car time to and from the airports.

Now we get to the next phase – preparation for the return trip to bring our daughter home! The plan is to fly into Donets’k on Monday night. Tuesday morning starts with a sunrise drive (two hours) to Mariupol, where we get Nastiya, the new birth certificate, and the court resolution. Then another car ride straight back to Donets’k (the capitol of the “oblast”) to get a new passport. If all goes well with that process, then Tuesday ends with a flight to Kiev. Wednesday and Thursday are spent with the US Embassy to get a visa to bring Nastiya to the US. Leave a little buffer and head home on Friday afternoon.

Sue and I had made the decision early on that she would go back alone to get Nastiya. Our son did a masterful job of jumping from one family to another while we were away – he stayed with three different families. But it was tough on him. So one of us goes and one of us stays. Sue would really love to push this task off on me – imagine getting right back on a plane less than seven full days from now to again spend 30+ hours traveling, spend 3 days and then do it all over again. This time with a 10 year old girl who will be speaking VERY limited English. I’ve done the world travel enough that I have the experience with the endurance required for this, but we really both know that Nastiya will far prefer coming home with Momma – she could find the idea of four days of travel with Papa to be fairly daunting experience. So Sue goes back.

This does add a wrinkle however. There are two places where both parents are required. The first is in Mariupol for the receipt of either the birth certificate or the court records – I wasn’t clear on exactly which. The other is the Embassy – they need two documents signed by both parents. Fortunately, both of these will take a power of attorney instead of a physical appearance by both parents. But of course the power of attorney for the court in Mariupol needs to be both notarized and apostilled. This means I need to create all three of those documents, get them notarized, and get the one apostilled – all this week before Sue goes back. The good news is I know how to do this now! Not a big deal after the previous paper chase, but one more hurdle.

We’re dying to get that little girl home where she belongs!

Probably not much to say this week – and as Susie will be going back herself, check back on trip 2 next week! She leaves again on Sundy (hint hint to anyone who has stuff to send to kids over there!)

Notes to those who are traveling (the rest of you can ignore this section):
1) The phone that was loaned to us started just powering off sporadically, so our interpreter loaned us her spare razor. After the fact, we had a good laugh – Sue has a razor. We could have just swapped sim cards in her phone.
2) REMEMBER: 0001 to call the US – with three zeros an 18 minute call cost me about 70 grivna (9 bucks). The normal international method cost me about 470 grivna – almost 60 bucks – for about 15 minutes.
3) I blogged about the internet card – Sasha will have it when we’re done next week. If you take a laptop, you can use that card. If someone is going in November, there’s still a fair amount of bandwith on the card. If later, then the card can be recharged the same way the phone is – our interpreter helped me acquire the card and knows how to charge it. I recommend the 250 grivna plan – about $30 for 10 GB of bandwidth. Then keep an eye on the meter that starts on the connection utility. I was fairly careful about browsing and so forth – we only used about 500MB in a week, so you may be able to chose a cheaper plan. If you’re gonna use skye – get the 10GB plan!
4) Oh yeah – about our decision to fly. I still do not regret the choice to fly instead of taking the train. But in the spirit of full disclosure: when our court date pushed back a day and we needed to change the tickets, we had to pay a bit more. There was a scary moment where they said it was going to cost us an extra $100 per person, but they finally figured it out for about another $50 each - $150 total. So be ready for that if you do choose the flight option.

jeff and Sue (and Jeff again) - Day 15 – Our Day in Court

Jeff – Friday, October 30, 2009

Day 15 – Our Day in Court

I have received some wonderful, supporting emails during this journey. The support I have felt from around the world has been one of the most awe-inspiring aspects of this journey. Sue and I listened to a relationship seminar (it was on video tape if that gives you an idea how long ago this was) by a man named Gary Smalley. One of the examples that he gave was to describe what he referred to as “awe” – of his wife, and his kids. He was a very humorous speaker, but he really tried to revert to the true, raw meaning of the word. From www.dictionary.com: “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like”.

In the day to day minutiae of the process, it is easy to get caught up in the details. But we have heard from prayer groups in New Jersey, of course many of our close friends and family, and random people we have met throughout this journey – all in deep support of our taking on the care of this wonderful child. God Bless you all – and thank you!

I think a quick recap is in order, and then I’m going to let Sue blog about court. She keeps accusing me of stealing her thunder, but it’s just because I wake up before she does! I think we’ve blogged about most of this, so I will keep it fairly high level.

So: here’s the original process and a vague timeline of events:
• Start of home study process: lots of paperwork, medical exams, interviews with the social worker (started end of June, received first packet of paperwork July 2, final home study received August 19th)
• Hosting an orphan for and American Culture Camp (started July 5th – three weeks)
• Apply to USCIS for the I-171H letter – approval to adopt a foreign child (first packet submitted around 8/1 but home study required for final approval – letter received 9/10)
• Create the dossier for submission to the Ukrainian SDA (pieces sent before, but full dossier submitted 9/10 – presented to SDA in Ukraine on 9/16)
• Received date to meet with SDA (10/19)
• Meet with SDA, get approval to go to region
• Travel to region, get local approval to spend time with child (10/21)
• Get all approvals (local, SDA, orphanage, brother and sister in our case
• Have court date to petition for adoption – receive approval (10/30)

Here we are! Yet to complete:
• Ten day waiting period required by Ukrainian law before we can take her home
• Return to Donets’k/Mariupol. (11/9) Acquire local decree from court, new birth certificate from place of birth (Mariupol) (11/10)
• Travel to Donets’k (equivalent of state capitol) to get Ukrainian passport in new name (11/10)
• Travel to Kiev to get Visa from US Embassy (11/11-12).
• Bring Nastiya home (11/13)!
And I’ll leave off here to let Sue tell the story of our court hearing in Mariupol. She’s still sleeping, so you will to wait a little longer…

Sue – Friday, October 30th

Day 15 – Court Day

What, Jeff leaves the anti-climactic part for me?!?
The night before court, our translator talked with us about court; what to expect, and what type of questions that the judge MAY ask. The same questions that are in the packet from David, and also the specifics about the child… what are you asking the court? To change her surname, to change her first name, and change the birth certificate parents, but keep her place and date of birth.

Friday morning, we got dressed in our “nice” clothes, jackets, slacks (Jeff… the red tie or the blue tie?) The weather is sunnier, but still cold, and I am grateful it is NOT pouring rain. The other driver, from Donets’k, came down and stopped by about 45 minutes before we were to leave, and he and the translator chatted away in the living room, while we finished up packing for leaving and primping for court. “Jeff, is your tie straight? Does this blouse look best with these slacks, or should I wear the other blouse?” and so on…

So, 11:00am we leave for the notary office, and we all go in to finish final paperwork, and signatures (again… I think we’ve been here 3 or 4 times now, and our translator even more!). Then off to court! They check your passports inside the front door, and you go up large, stone steps to long, dark hallways. I can’t help but think about the Soviet Union Communist times, and how scary it must have been for someone to be taken to KGB court here! Of course, since we don’t know how long court and waiting on the judge may be, we want to use a bathroom, which involves getting a key from someone and going down another turn in the hallway, and sitting in a row of chairs MEANT to be bolted to the floor, but are NOT! Every time you get up and down, they move as if to tip over, and you have some excitement in your life…

So, she comes back with a key, and I go into the… bathroom. Again, as is common here, there is an anteroom with a sink, and then another door with the… you guessed it… the whole in the floor! Nicely ceramic, with “grids” on each side, also ceramic, for your feet. I wanted to take a picture, but Jeff said “No pictures in the courthouse…” and, since I don’t know their laws, I decided not to. THAT would be a picture to post! The rooms are rather poorly lit and don’t seem that clean.

So then we wait… Jeff and I sat on the non-moving bench.
Then we went into the courtroom, and I concentrated on stuff to make me NOT cry. I was actually relaxed, not nervous very much. I’ll let Jeff talk about the actual court proceedings, while I just wrap up, because I need to shower and get out of Kiev this morning!
But my overall feelings during, and after, court were… anti-climactic. It went smoothly, thanks to the preparation of all those involved. It was not emotional at all, believe it or not. It was business as usual. I felt relieved afterwards. I felt grateful that all we had to do was show up and answer a few questions. When we left, Jeff and I were very excited!
“IT’S A GIRL!” Kind of funny… for the first child, Connor, I did all the labor for nine months, and the second child, Jeff did all the labor (paperwork) for four months… LOL

Back to Jeff:

I thought Sue would enjoy talking about that part – hmm. Twenty years together and I still get it wrong

Sue did catch the court proceedings pretty well – anti-climactic. The prosecutor, the local inspector and the orphanage representative were all there before the judge. There were also two “jury” members – basically witnesses, and the court reporter. The prosecutor asked us one question before we started: will our daughter have all the same rights as our biological son and who gives her those rights? We explained that in the eyes of the law, they have exactly the same rights. Of course, we will consider her as our daughter anyway, but the legal answer satisfied her.

Once the judge came in, he asked us a very few questions: what do you ask the court, what do you think about Nastiya. He asked both of us this question. Sue told me I can tell this story: for those of you who know Sue, she has plenty of words available. Well, believe it or not, after the interpreter had warned her to be brief – she was actually too brief! The judge had to ask her for more details about what she thought of Nastiya!

The judge then proceeded to list all of the documents from the dossier. He and the other three representatives (inspector, prosecutor, and orphanage rep) all had the full dossier – huge mounds of paper by this time, what will all the notaries, apostilles, and Ukrainian translations and petitions. He then asked each of the three if there were any objections. Of course, by this time – the work was done – all three stood up in turn and said no, they were in full support. The judge left the room.

18 minutes later, the judge returned and read his final resolution. At 1:25 PM local time, Anastasiya became Anastasia Luciana Stilwell – daughter of Jeffrey Michael and Susann Tindall Stilwell.

Now for the ten day waiting period…

After court, we had to race: we had a 6PM flight out of Donets'k - a two hour drive. But we had to see Nastiya before we left. Her's the image I will close with: picture a 10 year old girl jumping up and down and whirling around with a huge smile on her face, then racing to get a hug from every caregiver and orphanage official in sight!

Jeff and Sue: Day 14 – Party Day!

Jeff – Thursday, October 29, 2009

Day 14 – Party Day!

Thursday was another slow start. The plan was to have the part as scheduled at the orphanage at 2 PM. Until then, we were basically waiting to hear the outcome in Kiev!

Our interpreter headed out early to make sure that the judge would have time to meet with us on Friday, assuming the SDA approval arrives. Sue was still feeling sick, so she stayed in bed – and slept! I grabbed the bible and my other book and hung out in the kitchen drinking European coffee – strong! When our interpreter got back, she told me that the judge had agreed to a Friday appointment, but he was a bit annoyed and told her to come back when she had the papers. We waited…

The news came around 10:30 – success! The papers were signed and would be overnighted to Mariupol. We were on! Long story short – our interpreter called the judge and we are set for noon on Friday!

Susie slept in as long as she could to try to fight off the cold. When she got up, she was feisty! Feeling much better!

We headed over to the orphanage around 1:45. We went through all the usual rituals – go to The Green Room, sign the register, etc. When Nastiya showed up, she was radiant! She showed up in a beautiful white party dress, and somebody had braided her hair down both sides – very tightly. She was pretty spun up – very excited about the party. We hung out for a few minutes in The Green Room with her, and then we got the call to go upstairs. We had noticed a larger room across the hall from Nastiya’s “pod” when we took pictures – there was some sort of musical gathering going on there the day we took pictures. Sure enough, that’s where we went. We were seated along one wall with Nastiya sitting between us. All of the kids in her group were either dressed in their Sunday finest or in costumes for performing. The kids from her group were all seated next to us along the same wall or to our right on the nearest wall. Not all of the kids from the orphanage were there, but many of them from other groups were there, sitting on the far wall to our left.

The show started with one girl coming out and either reciting a story or a poem – my Russian wasn’t up to the task. This was followed by a young man singing – quite well. Nastiya knew all the words and sang quietly along with him. The next act was a tap dance a la Fred and Ginger, complete with top hat and cane. After this, the little girls in Nastiya’s pod put on a little dance and gymnastics routine all dressed up in tutus and spandex. Very cute. When this was over, the little girls lined up, and one by one, called Nastiya by name and made a wish for her future – all the way from I hope you have a nice family to be sure to listen to your new parents (I liked that one)! When this was done, the teacher/caregiver went to the center stage and called the rest of Nastiya’s group to the stage (center of the room). She then recited for some time in Russian. Then she called Nastiya up, and the kids surrounded her, and the teacher continued. Then Nastiya came back to us, grabbed us each by the hand, and brought us to the center of the group, where the teacher spoke to us briefly, and then there were a million hugs all around from all of the kids in the group.

At the end of this, we went back to Nastiya’s pod and had more hugs and well wishes. All of the kids were very excited in general, but they really seemed to be wishing Nastiya well. The little girls all surrounded Sue and Nastiya for lots more hugs. The caregiver asked who Nastiya looks like, momma or papa, and of course the entire room shouted “Momma!”

Really a beautiful party, and a nice going away event for Nastiya. Now if everything had gone according to plan, this would have all happened after she was officially our daughter – usually the court appointment is in the morning and the party is in the afternoon. Since the party was already planned, we kept it on schedule even though our court appointment was postponed. But of course, there is the 10 day wait after the court grants the adoption, so she would be staying for 10 more days anyway. Details about that tomorrow – with the rundown of the court appointment!

Over dinner, our interpreter prepared us for court the next day. There were some very specific answers that were required by law, and she wanted to make sure we understood the procedures. “What do you ask the court?” “We ask to adopt Anastasiya, we ask to be listed as her birth parents, we ask that her name be changed to Anastasia Luciana Stilwell…” The other requirements were around making sure we knew the relationship of Nastiya to her brother, sister, mother and father and why she is available, making sure we know the five requirements once we bring her to the US, making sure we know her medical history. The law requires us to be clear on all of these factors. Tomorrow is the big day for the legal deal in Ukraine. This is it!

Sue – Thursday, October 29th

Day 14 – Party for Nastiya!!!

Jeff did a great rundown on the party!

When we were sitting in the anteroom, with Nastiya all decked out in her white party dress (the kind you’d dress a child in for their confirmation, or Easter Sunday), I kept touching her braids – they were really fantastic! Who does them? Another child, or the caregivers?
And this dress was simply beautiful! You could tell that this was a very, very special occasion! Every time she stood up, she smoothed the front of her dress, and when she would move from one place to another, she would make sure the dress was hanging down perfectly. For all her “girlie” ways, I think she has a bit of the “tom-boy” in her!! Right after the celebration, she quickly changed out of the dress! I hope she likes the Christmas burgundy dress with little bows I got her!

The celebration was great! The boy singing had the face of a 14 year old, with the body of a 10 year old… and he sang very well! I thought of Misha doing the acrobatics, when the boys came out and did tumbles and cartwheels. I think of the 1950’s and 1960’s whenever we go somewhere or do something here…the miniskirts, the tall boots, the dresses, the way that men are “macho”, and women more feminine… I do not see sneakers on any women, anywhere… they wear boots or shoes of some sort. The only sneakers I see being worn are by young men or boys. So, if you Amerikankas (women) and Amerikanits’ (men) wear sneakers, you stand out like a sore thumb! Mostly true of Europe, in general, but I thought I’d mention it, since I became acutely aware of it here.

I loved the little girls doing pom-poms, and the boys tumbling, and the “Putting on the Ritz” skit with an older boy and girl! Then, when all the little boys and girls got in a line, and recited their “wishes” for Nastiya, and her new family, I started choking up! Our interpreter leaned over and whispered what they were saying…” Now they say that every child wishes for a forever family to call their own…Now they wish for Nastiya a wonderful family always with love in the home… Now they wish for Nastiya to always listen to her Momma and Papa…” and so on… about 14-15 wishes!!

By the time ALL the children in Anastasia’s “pod” made their speeches, and she came out and got our hands to take us up there to say good-bye to all her friends, I was just overwhelmed! The children immediately ran over to the tables filled with bananas, plums, fruits, cookies, candies, and other treats, I was in tears! Big fat tears were rolling down my face! The social worker and the one teacher/caregiver came over and said (with our translator)… “If you cry, the children will cry…” so I wiped my tears, and composed myself. I couldn’t help thinking about the life that awaits so many of these little girls if they do not get adopted! Ten percent commit suicide between 16-18 years old? And 50-60% become prostitutes?!? It’s hard to bear. So I cry for the injustice, and I cry for happiness at us adopting this lovely creature, and I try to think about the starfishes on the beach.

You all know the story… the man and the boy are walking along the beach at low tide. There are millions of starfishes on the beach, and when the sun comes up, before high tide, they will all die. And the little boy, as he walks, picks up starfish after starfish and throws them back into the ocean. The man says…”What difference does it make, if you throw a few back? Look at the beach… there are millions out there… you can’t save them all!? What does it matter?” And the little boy, as he picked up another starfish, ready to fling it far into the pounding surf, said “It matters to THIS ONE!” and tossed it into the water.

So here I am, surrounded by little children, and I am so happy that we have a daughter to call our very own, and that she will never hit the streets of Mariupol, homeless and penniless. We go into her “pod” room, and we are swamped with all the children; Nastiya introduces each of them to us; some we met the other day, others we are just meeting. Some we saw during the performance have families who hosted them in Aug/Sept, but I don’t know who they are… all of them want to meet us, shake hands, or share hugs, and I just LOVE IT!

I could stay here for a month or two, and get to know these children…
“Kak-za-voot?”
And they each tell you their name, and you want to take them ALL home with you!
And a great longing comes over you…
and a sadness…
and a realization that this event is bigger than you are…
and that indeed you cannot take them ALL home with you…
and then you stop…
and remember the starfish.

Jeff and Sue: Day 13 – Our first snag

Jeff – Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Day 13 – Our first snag

Well, this is the day to sit on pins and needles. Our facilitator in Kiev is awaiting the final signature for the approval from SDA. Everything else is done locally – all approvals from the inspector, the orphanage, Nastiya’s relatives, etc. The appointment is set for noon on Thursday. The schedule, if all works out: attend the court hearing at noon, run over to the orphanage for the farewell party, jump into a car and drive two hours to Donets’k, and catch a 6 PM flight back to Kiev. Pretty packed afternoon with a tight schedule. So today is preparation day – if all goes well.

We started off for the orphanage at around 9:15. The plan is that we hang with Nastiya while our interpreter prepares for the farewell party. We are the hosts for the party, but she is doing all the running around to get toys, food, and other treats. But when we get to the orphanage, Nastiya has left the building – she is at the hospital getting x-rays. One of the hurdles on the second trip when we come to get her is a medical exam required by the embassy. The plan is to have all the pre-work done now, so that all we need to do is hand over the x-rays and other documents to a doctor approved by the embassy, and thereby have a half-hour appointment instead of a three hour appointment to meet the requirements.

So, since Nastiya is out, we decide to go along on running some of the errands. Poor Sue has really been hit by something. She’s talking very quietly because of the congestion in her chest, and she’s very low energy. Mostly we just sit in the car and wait.

Back to the orphanage around 11ish – Nastiya joins us, and we get the OK for her to show us around her “pod” – where she lives. She takes us down the hallway where we’ve watched her disappear each trip, up a set of stairs, and into a set of large rooms. The first room is basically a narrow hallway lined with cabinets. Everything in these rooms has a place – this room is cabinets full of outer garments: sweaters, jackets, hats and shoes. The next room is part classroom, part lounge. Half the room is set up with a couch and chairs with a TV, VCR, and DVD player. The other half is desks and tables arranged with a central teachers area.

Through another door is a bedroom. There are bunkbeds against the outer walls – I think about 4 total (8 beds) – I didn’t count accurately. The center of the room consists of very small beds in rows – another group of about 8. They looked like doll beds to our eyes – the smaller children are not given full size beds. It makes sense, given the surroundings and amount of space available for all these children.

The lunchtime visit went about the same as before. Anastasia is getting more comfortable with us, and she’s trying more English as we spend time with her. Obviously it’s still just a smattering – about the same as our Russian. But the communication level is still high – she tries English, we try Russian, and we meet in the middle with non-verbal! Though she did out-stubborn me when I tried to get her to speak English later in the visit.

We also were surprised by another visit from Nastiya’s brother. He showed up about halfway through our visit. Sue gave him some envelopes so that he could write to his sister, and he even sat down and played Uno with us for a while. It was fun watching Nastiya teach her big tough 15-year old brother how to play Uno. He had a good time with it and enjoyed sticking me with a +4 every bit as much as his sister did!

When we left, Sue was still under the weather, so we stopped at the store and got some pork to cook lunch/dinner at home. Our interpreter showed up with chocolate treats again – looked like tiny little chocolate ice cream cones, but they were closer to chocolate covered cannolis. We waited for the call regarding the SDA approval. Our facilitator in Kiev finally called around 6 PM – bad news. The vice director was not in the office on Wednesday, so the forms were not ready.

Our initial plan had been to go to court on Thursday, head back to Kiev, and stop at the embassy on Friday. We’re pretty sure that Sue will be coming back alone to get Nastiya on the second trip, so there’s a form that I need to sign at the embassy. Now we won’t be able to do that. But our facilitator says that I can fill out that form in the US, and as long as it is notarized, we’ll still be OK. There is another form for the local authorities that I will need to get notarized and apostilled – it’s going to be an interesting week next week!

But the good news is that we are still scheduled to be home Sunday night! It has been an amazing trip, and I have really enjoyed the time here with my daughter. Now I have a son who needs some time as well It will be fantastic when both my kids are in the same house!


Sue – Wednesday, Oct 28th

Day 13 – No Early Departure…

Jeff has a great blog about yesterday! Although it’s not really a “snag”, we were just getting our hopes up that somehow we could get SDA approval in Kiev and get a court date in Mariupol one day early. But we are praying that at least we get a date for Friday early enough to leave on the 6pm flight back to Kiev.

My impression of the orphanage is very positive! The children’s areas are all very clean, very neat, and, like my Grammy used to say”... a place for everything, and everything in its place”. Anastasia was very proud and happy, showing us where her bed was (upper bunk), where her clothes go, and where the outer coats and shoes were… Each little shelf in the large “Ikea-type” cabinets were labeled with the child’s name, so they can keep their jeans, shirts, sweaters in a pile on that shelf. I think they share the shoes.

She had us take pictures of her and the women who are here caregivers. It is a warm and caring relationship; you can tell that these people truly care for these children. They were kind of silly when we met them, a combination of shy and excitedly curious.
G., from CA, guess who is in her little group? Yup, V. was in the group, and was playing nicely with another boy. He recognized us right away and came over to say hi! He is looking healthy and happy, and is also using a few English words. Jeff took pictures, so they will be going off to David to be sent – I think he sent some already, from earlier in the week. V. even looks like he has grown a bit. It’s amazing what a shining countenance one can have when one has hope and love, and he sure has one now! He is practically glowing!

As Jeff said, I have been knocked out with this stupid chest cold… in spite of taking vitamins, Airborn (vit C stuff), using hand sanitizer whenever there is no soap, getting around 8 hours sleep a night (mostly…), and trying to eat a balanced diet! So I’m peeved about that! At least, I do have the cold medicine, and I’m taking the Airborn several times a day to help chase it away. One thing I should let you know… the air in Mariupol is very, very smoggy. You can smell it when you leave in the morning, or if you open the window in the apartment. There are many, many factories here in Mariupol, and they run seven days a week. So, if anyone has allergies, asthma, or other respiratory issues, please bring your full arsenal of medicines with you! I get allergy shots weekly for three different things. I suspect that my allergies were irritated, and that opened up a pathway for whatever cold germs was flying around. And I had a bit of something that I shook right before I came, so I suspect my immune system was a little weakened. So if you have this type of tendency, like I do, bring the supplies!

While we’re on the subject, here’s what I brought: Vitamins, Airborn, Dayquil, Tylenol, Immodium, Tylenol Severe Chest Cold Stuff, Tylenol PM, Melatonin, prescription Ambien, hand sanitizer, tissues. We used the Ambien the first several nights, sometimes with the Melatonin, to try and overcome the jetlag. Otherwise, you wind up waking up at 3:00am, unable to get back to sleep. Now I am taking my cold medicine, and a melatonin, and I still woke up at 3, 4, 5am, but it was mostly my coughing and the chest cold keeping me up.

On the Ukrainian airplane coming here, there was a HUGE article about medicines here in Ukraine, and that up to 20 percent (yes, 20%) over the counter medicines on the shelves today is NOT what is labeled on it. There are big scams going on, where the pharmacies think they are buying the right thing, but whet they are getting is the “knock offs”, sometimes with nothing in it, and sometimes with “other ingredients” in it. I’d be happy to photocopy the articles, and David can forward it to the other families coming over. Antibiotics are the most faked medicine. So, just bring your own things with you.

Back to the orphanage. We enjoyed our trip upstairs, and I was very pleasantly surprised at the cheerfulness of the environment. Even the stairwells are painted with bright cheerful colors and murals of flowers, or animals. We enjoyed being able to go up, so we can make a memory book for Anastasia.

I am trying to interact with her without making her sick!! She keeps hugging me, and wanting to kiss me, but I don’t want her getting sick too. So we gave her her Halloween present – a Hannah Montana wig, and a Hannah Montana clip-on radio, with four songs, and a wire that goes to your head with a mike on it (it’s a toy). Well, this has been the biggest hit yet!! She loved wearing her Hannah wig, and had to run around showing the assistant director, the social worker, the other caregivers… We explained that it was like a “costume” for Halloween, and she understood perfectly! It was great seeing her dressed up, since it will be a year until we can celebrate Halloween with her, and everyone who knows us knows we do a BIG Halloween thing! So I got a huge thrill seeing my daughter in her first costume! And what little girl doesn’t like to “dress-up”? She was so cute! A little shy, but thrilled to be Hannah Montana.

I’m getting a little tired of the Green Room, but it was overcast, and with me so sick, I didn’t want to go outside. Jeff and Anastasia didn’t want to, either, since it looked like it could rain at any moment. The weather is now “normal”, cold and a little windy and damp and bitter. Feels normal for this region, the kind of weather I had expected originally. We had been “treated” to an Indian summer experience, and we really enjoyed it! So we had fun with her costume, she had fun showing everyone, and then we went to the … you guessed it… the green room! We brought her Uno Deluxe from back home, and she asked for another one, but the stores here do not have it. It’s a great game, because you can learn numbers and colors from each other, if you say the color and number each time you put it down (yes, I HAVE been known to be sneaky a time or two in my life…). I’m going to bring another Uno when I return, and we will definitely play this game at home. Have to think of others where you don’t need language, but can learn to count and speak some (Backgammon, Scrabble, Dominoes, Cribbage?).

Speaking of counting, I received some disappointing news. It turns out, best as I can tell, that the children here attend 1st, 2nd, 3rd grades, then they just skip 4th, and go right into 5th grade… so if your child is in 5th grade and up, just subtract one year from their grade. We tried having her do the “times” math problems, and she knew what it was, and how to do it, but could not come up with the right answer. While she knew 3x2=6, she did not know 7x3=21. We tried this for awhile, and basically, she does NOT know her multiplication tables. So I am going to get some old fashioned Flash cards, like my Mom had for me. Yes, we all hate to do it, but isn’t it nice when we memorize them, and it’s behind us.
This puts us on alert for what grade to put her in back home… she does get along with the younger children, but since she has a January birthday, she would be almost two years older than the average 4th grader. Some options would be to home school for the rest of this year, private tutors to catch her up, sticking her in the correct grade for her age, and summer school/tutors.

So we have much to think about! It is a joy to see her, but the overwhelming desire is for this chapter to be done with, and to get her home and all of us moving forward with our lives. I don’t like being away from Connor this long – I miss him so much! I have now missed all his band competitions this year!! Last year, I only missed the one last November when I went back east for my Aunt’s funeral, and one the first year for a dear friend’s wedding. I don’t like being away this long from him – we love him so much!
He is the center of our lives, him and his grades, the drumming lessons, the band competitions, the dinners at home. Oh, I really want to sit down at my own dinner table with my family again! I am missing Connor a lot!

Sue and Jeff: Day 12 – Time with Anastasia

Sue – Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day 12 – Time with Anastasia

We came to the orphanage for many hours today! (Okay, I just went back and re-read the first line… I have been over here too long, when I start talking like that! Jeff and I just got a good laugh out of that.)

We go there around 10:00, and though it was bright and sunny, it was still kind of bitter, so we stayed inside until around 11:30. We gave our little daily gifts (we bring a small baggie of candy, and some sort of gift each day). Today we brought a small bracelet, wrapped, and a large bouncy ball we got from the States, and deflated before bringing. The boys like soccer balls, but I thought about how much I loved playing with the large, red bouncy ball when I was in elementary school, so we brought one of those and a smaller purple bouncy ball which we gave on a previous day. We deflated them, to fit in the suitcase, and then I brought along a hand-inflator, which I bought at Big-5.

First she didn’t seem to want the bouncy ball, but when we went outside, she really got into it. She ran up and down the little hills, and then showed us ALL (and I mean every single piece) of playground equipment. Of course, there was an obligatory picture on top of every single one.

Note to parents coming over – bring a LOT of various size plastic bags; we’ve used them to keep purchases safe in the suitcase (in case of rain… yes, on one trip I retrieved my luggage from baggage claim soaked with all wet stuff inside due to it being on the bottom of the luggage carts in a pouring rainstorm).
We use the smaller baggies to load up some Halloween candy each day to take to the orphanage. She eats some, and then takes the baggie upstairs to share with her friends.
We have used them to keep food in the fridge… yes, there was plastic wrap in Kiev, but I didn’t notice it until the 3rd day! I use them in my purse to organize vitamins, cold medicine, etc.

I also want to advise parents to pack one or two partial rolls of toilet paper with them in their purse… some restaurants/venues have toilet paper, and others DO NOT!!
Some places have the ceramic “holes in the floor”, for lack of a better term…. And others have nice toilets with toilet paper and hand soap. We saw those “holes in the floor” in Cambodia, too, so we were familiar with them. I’ve been wearing slacks this whole trip, but if you want to wear dresses and pantyhose… well, you are on your own – I wouldn’t have a clue how to navigate that procedure with pantyhose… so good luck!

When we arrived in Mariupol, the apartment is lovely, but there was no toilet paper! So buy some when you get groceries! No tissues, either, so that would be nice to have in your purse as well.

So on Tuesday, I was already getting sick. Once in awhile, while we are waiting in the anteroom for Anastasia to come down, we see a group, or 2-3 kids going by on errands… we seem to see O. a LOT! I think she knows when we are there, and makes sure she has some sort of “business’ to do that brings her by our way. She always has a big smile, hello, and a big hug for me!! She is such a doll! That girl could bring sunshine to Alaska in the winter!! She gave us a small package for R., K., & S… she is such a caring individual… you can see it in how she interacts with her friends here, especially the younger ones! She simply bursts into smiles and hugs each and every time her path crosses ours!

Jeff:

I have received two emails in the last two days that have really made me think about what a special time this is for us. We’re kind of outside the normal world in a little cocoon here. None of the normal responsibilities – not even the ability to really keep up with the real world. We’re here for one thing – spending time with our daughter, and getting the paperwork done to bring her home! One of the emails I mentioned was from a mom who will be following in our footsteps very soon. All I can say is: be prepared to enjoy this very special time with your child – soon you will be back in the day to day!

We left the orphanage around 2ish, ran a couple errands, and then went for lunch. Our translator always seems to have one more document, or one more item of preparation for the party that we will throw at the orphanage after the court appointment. So we stopped at a couple places to do something vague – we never quite get clear on what she’s up to, and then we went to this really cool restaurant that was very European, and yet somewhat kitchy – tables outside, a little river running through the enclosed courtyard, fake trees inside. We really enjoyed it – all of us chose to have soup since Sue started the trend. My sweetie always goes for soup when she’s not feeling well.

The rest of the evening, we just hung out and talked about what’s next. Later, our interpreter did cook dinner again – she is terrific! It was the remainder of the chick, but prepared completely differently; same salad and left-over “porridge”. Sue went with ramen – more soup for my sick wife We discussed the plans – to get the papers from SDA on Wednesday, court date on Thursday. We will have our fingers crossed all day on Wednesday. As I am writing this Wednesday night – we do know the outcome of the paperwork for Wednesday – but you who are reading this real time will need to wait for our next blog…

OK – I can’t do it to you – we are delayed a day due to paperwork: more on that when we write about today – probably first thing tomorrow morning our time, as our interpreter needs to run some errands on her own.

Key point for those following us to Ukraine: be sure to use the local cell phone, and be sure to dial “0001” before the phone number! I made the mistake of using the “+1” on my cell phone. Works in any country. However, using “+1” cost me about $50 for 15 minutes. Using the “0001” (THREE ZEROES!) cost me about $2 for 5 minutes. I wish I had understood the emphasis the translator had put on this the first time she told me!

Jeff and Sue - Day 11 – Finally – a slow day!

Jeff – Monday, October 26, 2009

Day 11 – Finally – a slow day!

Sue and I have been joking with each other – we have read previous blogs about downtime and boredom – we must be doing something wrong! We brought along a number of books and DVD’s to fill the excess time – we have barely finished two DVD’s of reruns of a series we are watching again. Our interpreter has kept us quite busy, and trust me – this blog has filled a fair amount of the other free time! We’ve really enjoyed doing this, both for our own benefit and for the benefit of some of the people we have heard from. It is a real honor to be able to give some feedback and stories from the orphanage to other parents who still have a child there. Sue has stated repeatedly that we feel that Nastiya is our child that just happened to be born 7000 miles away from us – I know others feel the same way.

As for the time – I think being able to snatch Nastiya from the orphanage for almost an entire day also was a bonus that not everybody has been able to share. Or maybe our interpreter has just figured out that no good can come of leaving us to our own devices – she knows us too well already! We had a good laugh last night: our interpreter was joking about how Sue will go up and talk to anybody. I asked her, “Where do you think Nastiya gets it from?” She got it

So Monday: we did finally get a chance to sleep in. I can’t, but Susie did sleep almost until our interpreter left for the morning. Then we had breakfast, read the bible, read a meditation together, and slowly got ready for the day.

Our interpreter came back around 11:30, and we went for a stroll. Some pictures will be posted in the sidebar. The first stop was a pet shop. Sue wanted to take a cuttle bone and a treat for the parrot at the orphanage. The pet shop is on the ground floor of the same building as the apartment.

We then walked through a nice central park that we have driven past almost every day. It’s about three blocks from the apartment. Once through the park, we walked another two blocks, and we were at the pizza joint we’ve been to several times. You know how when you’re a passenger you don’t really pay attention to the direction? Shoot – the pizza joint is 5 blocks away, the money exchange place was at the end of the block, turn the corner and you’re at the internet café we first visited. Six blocks and we saw everything on the central street that we’d visited! OK –I exaggerate – the toy store, phone store, and radio store were a few more blocks away.

For lunch, our interpreter hailed a cab and took us to a “BBQ”. This really refers to cooking meat over fire – same as our back yard BBQ’s. The meat was excellent. We had two different kinds of pork, but the menu also included sausage, liver, chicken, and fish. The restaurant was quite nice - decorated with boar’s heads on the wall.

The BBQ was two blocks from the orphanage. It was right across the street from the school that Nastiya goes to, which is catty-corner from the orphanage. The orphanage is actually tucked down into a courtyard created by an L-shaped arrangement of large apartment buildings, so we had to walk down the alley/driveway between the buildings to get there, but you can see the school and the orphanage from the entrance to the driveway.

So here we are again in The Green Room. We waited for a few minutes for Anastasia. Since she has chosen the American version, when she came, we said “Previet, Nastiya; Hello Anastasia!” This got a big smile from her.

First thing we did was give the bird his new treats. The cage is in the anteroom to The Green Room, so Nastiya and Sue went out there to give him his treats. When we went into The Green Room, we could hear the bird calling to us. He starts with a gentle whistle, which escalates into a much noisier “request” that you come back and play with him. We would call back to him. I couldn’t help it – I whistled back to him a couple times. Not allowed in Ukraine – don’t whistle indoors!

We had just a great time – doing puzzles, practicing English, butchering pa-rooskie, having Nastiya correct us. We had a good laugh over making a human antenna to try to get a better signal for the radio. The time just disappeared, and suddenly the security guard was telling us it was time to go.

After that huge lunch, we had snacks for dinner. Cheese and salami for me, dates and cookies for everybody (some Ukrainian cookies our interpreter bought – walnut-shaped cookies filled with Nutella).

Sue – Day 11 – Mariupol

Sue here… just a quick note (is it possible???)

I am feeling a little under the weather. Sunday night, I awoke at 4:00am with a choking/scratchy feeling in my throat, and was coughing. I’m not sure if I am getting a cold (I’ve been so very careful to wash hands, use hand sanitizer, and to take my vitamins!), or having an allergic reaction. (I get allergy shots weekly at home…) By Monday evening, my throat is just killing me! I know you can smell the factory smoke everywhere here in Mariupol, it is in the air like burning leaves or something. So I don’t know if I am getting sick, or just reacting to the air, or the cold, or what. I will keep taking vitamins, and see how things develop. I sure did bring the supplies; cold medicine, Tylenol, etc., so if I am sick, I will simply take cold medicine and keep on chugging.

By the way, the weather turned on a dime. One day it was like springtime, and the next day it was downright bitter. I mean hat and gloves kind of autumn chill. You are near the Azov Sea, so the cold damp air feels even more chilly. I am definitely bringing my (skiing) light-weight long johns to wear under my slacks in November!! Brrrrrrr!

Sue and Jeff - Day 10 – Tour of Mariupol

Sue – Sunday, October 25, 2009

Day 10 – Tour of Mariupol

Today we got up around 8:00 am and headed out around 10:00 to go to a local museum – not far form our apartment. It has the history of Ukraine, form the Mesozoic era until after WWII. There is first a map of Ukraine, with the various regions, then the various mining regions. Ukraine is a big mining country, everywhere. There were maps and samples of stone showing where each type of stone is quarried. Then there wer many fossils form Ukraine, and maps showing where it was form and how many million years ago it was from. Then the Mammoth (NOT Wooly Mammoth – just a mammoth) fossils and pictures; another room had all the wildlife of Ukraine – stuffed mammals, birds, and reptiles; another room had the civilization and migration paths, plus artifacts of early primitive man in Ukraine; another room had the civilization coming through the ages until you get to WWII (The Great Patriotic War).

A great turning point in Ukrainian history was the Great Revolution, 1917. It was when the people revolted against the Czar (the King), and decided NOT to have royalty rule the people, but let all things be for the people – COMMUNISM. It was not until 1991 that they split from Soviet Union, so there is still political discourse on these subjects. You see a lot of tributes to the Great Revolution of 1917, and you see monuments to the Great patriotic War (WWII). So seeing a totally different country’s take on WWII, the Great Depression (in which many, many Ukrainian people died from starvation – Soviet Union would take their food and starve entire villages), and the “Great Revolution” (where people took over their country – the Communist revolution), was very enlightening. It’s a good museum – I truly enjoyed it. Also, in the same building, but for additional entry fee, is a one room wax museum; we took pictures of us with Arnold Schwarzenager, Brad Pitt, Chuck Norris, Beethoven…. Just one room, I could skip this part, but DO go to the museum if you get a chance!

We drove up to the Great Patriotic War memorial and statue honoring all those who died in WWII. The statue had wings, was holding an Olive branch in his right ourstretched hand, and had a machine gun strapped to his left leg… HUH?? But you know war memorials… then off to the top of the “mountain” to overlook the Azov Sea – great views, sunny day… ahhh…. Beautiful!!!

The little village we drove through at the top is called ”Sailor’s Village”; cute little single-family homes. The architecture here is different – they would be more like “cottages”, with those metal corrugated roofs (with ridges) we use at home on sheds. I think it helps to prevent water damage and makes the snow melt off instead of caving in your roof. Makes sense – they are kind of like Tahoe roofs, the very deep snow that they get here will slid eoff before caving in your house. Of course, the large office and apartment buildings in town are built a little differently and look much the same as at home.

We then drove down to the beach. It was a terrific beach; I can only imagine all the people from Mariupol and surrounding areas coming to the beach in the summer, and how crowded it must get. There was a very stylish elegant restaurant right there on the beach, so we went in and had “American Coffee”, which is NOT espresso, but rather a small cup of coffee that is like instant coffee mixed with cream/or milk – quite tasty, but very small cups! I would love to rent one of the many cottages by the sea here.

The only odd thing is that the whole Mariupol area is very, very industrial. My throat is now bothering me… allergies, or the industrial air, I don’t know. The entire sea coast is 90% industrial… seaports, industry, shipyards, docks, factories, and so forth. The :beach area” for people is right next tot the industrial area. People are off in small boats on a Sunday, fishing, and running with their dogs, or just BBQing with their children. The end of autumn, the final throes of summer desires, played out on this little beach. I could feel it, too, this desire to be on the beach, to pick up shells, to grill my last piece of chicken until next spring/summer. Winter is very, very near. But for now, we are on the beach, looking at the small waves, picking up tiny seashells, wishing it were summer again.

We arrived at the orphanage, and Anastasia was ready for us – she was waiting all day!! A little peeved; she was worried! We had spent the entire day with her the day before, but that was a special treat; younger children will not be let out like that, and I don’t think everyone even her age gets to go out like that. So we played with the Snow White puzzle, and we really gave it our best shot, but were unable to finish it! I read somewhere that children doing puzzles stimulates a part of their brain that helps them with… math?.... language skills?... I can’t remember….okay, maybe I didn’t do enough puzzles when I was younger!

Each day, we bring her a little gift or two. Always some sort of treat… these little round cracker things, cookies, candy, a small gift, like a puzzle, or a bouncy ball, or a small jewelry trinket… so each day, she always had something to take back up to her “group” to share. The BIGGEST hit so far (besides the radio, which we now get to hear EVERY SINGLE VISIT – note to parents; give the radio on your LAST day!), is the little “glow in the dark” bracelets. They come 12 to a tube, and I brought four tubes. She shares them with her group, and she told us that everyone loves them at night. You can connect them into a necklace, or keep them as bracelets, but the second day, when I pulled out another tube of 12 bracelets, she jumped up and down and was very, very excited. She is rather blasé about the candy, but quickly puts it into the bag she is taking “upstairs” so she can share it. I like that about her. Even if you give her something she really, really likes, she will break off a piece and offer it to you. For a kid that hasn’t had much in life, it is a good trait to have, and we want to foster that even more with her.

Jeff took lots of pictures. We want to make a photo book of Mariupol, since this is the town in which she was born.

Jeff:

Not much too add – Susie did a really nice job. The visit to the orphanage was funny because of Nastiya’s attitude. When we got there, she was very reserved, even though we came bearing gifts – and ice cream! But when she started talking to the interpreter, it became clear that she was miffed because we had arrived so late in the day, and she had been worried – either that we had been hurt or just that we weren’t coming to spend time with her, I didn’t catch, but either way it really touched me. She’s so committed to this, and I think she got a little spooked. I am so looking forward to talking to her once she speaks English!

Dinner was a real pleasure. Our interpreter offered to make a Ukrainian dinner for us. We stopped at the supermarket, and she got all the fixings. The meat was a chicken dish: she chopped the chicken into chunks and rubbed it with a Ukrainian spice. She sautéed this in safflower oil with onions and cheese. She also made salad (tomatoes, onion, and parsley in an olive oil – we didn’t have vinegar), and “porridge”. The porridge was whole grain buckwheat simmered like rice. For dinner we had it with butter, salt and pepper. We had it for breakfast on Monday with milk and sugar, as instructed. I was really surprised – it was very good. The crowning touch was a treat that our interpreter had bought when we weren’t with her: caviar! We had fresh bread, thinly sliced and lathered with butter, topped with caviar. It was very tasty. We learned that this was a standard food for a celebration – birthdays especially.

Sue and Jeff - Day 9 – Playtime with Anastasia!

Sue – Saturday, October 24, 2009

Day 9 – Playtime with Anastasia!

Saturday we head out around 10 am. We’ve been taking Melatonin to sleep; otherwise you are up at 4:00am, wide awake. Melatonin tells your body it is sleep time for the next 8 hours. When we return to states, we can use it as well to get to sleep there.

We were allowed to go to the orphanage to take Anastasia out for the day. She first wanted a “radio”, which we did not bring for her, even though she asked for it over the phone some weeks ago, thinking we would let her pick one out. First stop – a toy store. The didn’t have any radios. We did look around a bit, and bought a large Disney puzzle of Snow White, to share with the other kids, and some coloring books for her.

Next stop, a “Best Buy” type of store – vacuums, washing machines, phones, all electronics. We looked in the glass cabinet, and we asked her which one… she actually picked out the cheapest of the three available. I had a set of earplugs from a previous airplane trip, which I gave to her to use with the radio. Most of the headsets they had there were more expensive than the radio itself! And, V.’s words echoed in my mind.. “…the other kids will break it or steal it…” So for about $15 US dollars, we made her very happy.

Then we drove a little way to the ice skating rink. It is a large dome structure, with the ice skating inside with ice…. It has been very warm here, when it’s not raining. Around 65-75 degrees, it feels like. But our translator wears a sweater, and a coat. I had been wearing either short-sleeved blouses, then a lightweight blazer, then a medium weight fall jacket, or a long-sleeved blouse, and same jackets, and I was way too hot! So since we would be ice skating and running around outside, I just wore a ¾ sleeve lightweight sweater, with the outside fall jacket. For anyone that is coming in November/December, they are saying that it “could” snow in Nov, but it WILL be colder, so WINTER apparel is in order. If you are coming in Jan/Feb, then you NEED long johns, winter jackets, boots, head covering and gloves!! I can tell form the morning nip in the air that very soon the weather will snap in the beginning of a very long, bitter, and dreary winter. Our guide told us one day, when we were sitting outside eating pizza, with the sun shining warmly on my arm and face, that it was an “Indian Autumn”… you mean “Indian Summer”??? Yes, Indian Summer! So this warm weather is not exactly the norm, even for October.

Back to Anastasia! The ice skating is a great idea! It is 35 and 20 grivna (adult and child), for 45 minutes of ice skating time (about $4. adult, $2.50 child) They clear the ice at the “:45”, and then you go into the locker area, put on your skates, and go onto the ice when the organ music plays on the hour. I had only been on ice skates about1-2 times in the 20 years I’ve been with Jeff (doesn’t skate, nor does he want to try…), so I don’t know WHY I got elected to go on the ice with her!! I could barely keep myself up! So off we went, Momma and Anastasia, holding onto the railing, scooting around the edge of the rink like sloths. I got my legs a bit, and did not fall, but only because I cautiously went forward only enough to stay with her.

Anastasia laughed, and held onto the side for dear life!! She would get going a bit, but not let go, so she was actually pulling herself off balance, and down she’s go! After a few loops, she did find another Russian-speaking little girl that helped her. I was very happy to see that she would undertake an activity she did not excel at – at least try and flail a bit. It’s a good sign for learning! And since we’re an active family, she will be trying new things (activities, sports, foods, travels, etc..) a lot, so I am happy she will just go off and “DO IT”. Our translator told us the orphanage brings the kids here 1-2 times a year, so Anastasia had been ice skating before, just not often.

Both before and after our ice skating, we played in the children’s park nearby. Across from the ice skating dome, there is a small “village” set up, with little cottages, and a BBQ area. We were told that it is like a little café – you can eat lunch in the houses, and buy food when they cook it. Sure enough, when we came out form ice skating, there were guys cooking on the grill. Then, right past the 4-5 cottages, there is a small children’s playground area. The equipment looks like the kind I had in the 60s… wait, it IS the one I had in the 60s (okay, small joke…). The equipment is very, very old, with many layers of paint. It is the metal kind, with “go-rounds”, and climb-through tubes, and swings. So we got some cute photos of Anastasia being spun around on some of the equipment, and we laughed and tried to tickle her as she spun past us. Again, the day was warm and sunny, but the autumn colors are in full bloom, and are beautiful!

I’m going to let Jeff pick up from here… “Dos-vah-don_yah!” “Good-bye”!

Jeff:

It was really funny watching Nastiya skate – she made a best friend right there on the ice – she had another girl helping her skate almost as soon as Momma took a second to rest.

Once we left the ice rink, we asked Anastasia what she wanted for lunch. She had no real preference – I’m guessing she doesn’t make choices like that very well because she never has the opportunity to make that kind of choice. Well, what does every child love? Pizza! We headed back to the same pizza joint were we had lunch previously. Anastasia picked a seafood salad to go with her pizza. Didn’t surprise me at all – she loved seafood when she stayed with us. Her second favorite next to tomatoes!

After lunch – around 2PM – we still had two more hours to spend with Nastiya. Our driver took us back to a “Luna Park” that we had passed earlier. This was a small park with about 15 rides, mostly very simple rides – think the portable rides that show up at the small fairs in San Jose from time to time – maybe a little larger in some cases. Things like a fun house, ferris wheel, small roller coaster, plus a couple larger rides; what we used to call the hammerhead, and a pretty nice drop zone kind of ride. Nastiya really got into going on the rides. Danged if I hadn’t forgotten to charge my camera – I ran out of juice after the ice rink, so I didn’t get any of these pictures. I think Momma and Nastiya’s favorite was the bumper cars. These are NOT the bumper cars we have in the US – these were moving fast enough to give you whiplash in a head-on! I watched a couple people purposely hit head-on – the crunch was very audible. It was also interesting that the seatbelts were non-existent on most rides. Imagine – personal responsibility! (But the corollary is that we do not have seatbelts in the taxi, either – it’s been driving Sue crazy)

OK – here’s the funniest part: at one point, Nastiya grabbed Momma’s hand to take her over to the bumper cars again. They headed around a big bush one direction, and I headed around from the other direction. When I got to the other side, there was Sue – no Nastiya! I was amazed – how could Sue lose our daughter that fast?? But of course our little sweetie had found a friend. Turns out her teacher/caregiver from a previous school (boarding school?) was there with some other kids. Nastiya was over at the bench chatting her up. Very sweet – she made sure to get her number before we left the park, Jeez – it’s like a friend of mine in San Jose – wherever we go, he’s running in to somebody he knows. Looks like my daughter is going to have the same proclivity – she is absolutely a people-person.

Finally we had to take her back to the orphanage. When we got there, her friends were just coming down the main stairway near the front door. Anastasia got swept up in the tide and just disappeared – no good bye, no Paka – just gone! Sue and I both had a stunned expression on our faces, and we even joked with each other: “no goodbye?”

As soon as we walked out the door, our interpreter, who had noticed our expressions, made it a point to tell us what a good time Nastiya had and how overwhelmed she was with the day – it wasn’t that she doesn’t love us. Sue and I both laughed. We really appreciated the concern our interpreter showed, but having seen the way Anastasia is around other kids, we weren’t seriously surprised or upset. She is a ten year old child who wanted to share her prizes and adventures with her friends, so off she went!

We decided to go back to the apartment and unwind a little before dinner. A cup of tea, a little peeva (beer), and off we went for sushi in Mariupol, Ukraine! OK – so there’s no Japanese people within 500 miles of this city – so what? It turned out to be quite good. It was our first experience with a dinner in a restaurant, and we had the typical experience – kind of. I’ve had dinner in Europe many times, and it takes much longer than dinner in the US. In the US, the restaurant is interested in giving you a good experience, but they want the table for the next party! Not so much in Ukraine – we were there for about 2-/12 hours. The part that we could not understand was the drink service. One of the primary money-makers for a restaurant in the US is the drinks, alcoholic or not. Not here. We didn’t get the drinks we ordered until the meal came – about an hour after we arrived. I think we should have ordered vodka instead of sake – another table came in after us and had their bottle of vodka long before we got our sake. Anyway, good food – but be patient!

Back to the apartment. Our interpreter says she will play tour guide on Sunday, and we will see Nastiya later in the day.

Jeff and Sue: Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol

Jeff – Friday, October 23, 2009

Day 8 – The end of Paper Chase Part 3 – Mariupol

The pace was a bit slower today, but we needed to finish the final document package…

Our first task of the day was acquiring a gift. Nastiya’s brother does not have a phone. We have decided to provide him with one so that he can keep in touch with Nastiya. The cell phones work differently in Ukraine: you do not buy a monthly plan. It’s a pay as you go plan. You buy a phone, and then you buy a card with a certain value of grivna to apply to the phone. For instance, I bought a 50 grivna card a few days ago. The process consists of exposing the code on the back of the card – kind of like a lottery card. Then you type *100*code number# and hit send. The phone says “please wait”, and a few seconds later you get a message that shows what your new balance is. However, you don’t pay at all for incoming calls. It turned out to be extremely inexpensive to supply him a phone and just enough credit so that he will be able to receive calls from Nastiya. Very cool.

I tried to buy the internet modem at the same store, but they only had PCMCIA cards. This would work for my laptop, but I figured I should get a USB card instead – the odds are better that future families will be able to use the card. So off we went to another store. Sure enough, they had this nifty USB card – MTC KOHHEKT (MTC CONNECT). Once I purchased the card, I plugged it into the USB port. The first thing I saw was the installation message about a mass storage device and then a message about a new modem. The next thing that happened was the setup program started automatically. How about that – the device came with a disk partition that launched the driver installer. Very slick. I chose the English language option – the girl who sold it to me, who so far had only spoken Russian through the interpreter, said, “You don’t want to use the Ukrainian option?” We had a laugh about that, and then we had a nice conversation in English about how long I was here, etc. Very funny – everybody speaks English.

The one other detail about the card: you don’t buy unlimited access like you do in the US: the unit of measure is actually the amount of data transferred. The card came with a plan that provides 4GB of data, but only 1GB before 10/31. So I measured: looks like we can be fairly judicious with our web browsing and use about 25MB per hour. This will give us ~40 hours of connect time before we leave Ukraine. With care, this should work. If it doesn’t, the card can be re-charged the same way as I described with the phone. The cool part is that the cost for 10GB is 250 grivna – about $30. That’s ball-park 40 hours of connect time. Obviously not as easy as just staying connected like I do in the US with my Verizon card, but hey – lots cooler than hanging at the internet café and trying to do the transfer etc. Plus the travel time to and from the café – so far we’re wondering when we’re going to get to the slow part of this trip that we’ve heard about. We will get to that – but more about that tomorrow.

Finally, around 10:45, we headed over to the orphanage to meet with Nastiya and her brother. It was really great to meet him – he’s a really nice young man, and it’s obvious how much he cares for his sister. He is a very shy person, so the majority of the time was spent explaining how they could keep in touch using this phone and how we can use mail. We took plenty of pictures, got his address, asked if he had any questions, etc. I think he was quite overwhelmed with the entire meeting, as well as the fact that his sister will be living practically on the other side of the planet.

After the orphanage, we headed off for lunch – pizza! It was really good. Quite different, but we really enjoyed it. After that we needed to finish the applications at – you guessed it – the notary bureau! Back to the notary bureau. We got there around 3 PM when we were supposed to have our appointment, but the papers weren’t ready. Our interpreter said she needed to get some other papers taken care of that the orphanage, so we headed back over there. We got there, and our interpreter told us to wait. Of course we asked if we could hang with Nastiya while we waited, and she went to check. On the way in, her phone rang – the papers were ready at the notary bureau! “Everything changed – get back in the car!” Back we went to the bureau, and sat quietly while the girl in the office (secretary? Assistant?) finished typing the documents, and then our interpreter went over them in great detail. Half an hour later, six copies of the application were placed in front of us for signature and printed names. By number six, I couldn’t remember how to spell my own name

As soon as we finished signing, the guy at the notary took off like a shot. Our interpreter said that we’re done! Paper chase done! Now we wait for the court date. Our interpreter says that everything is done in a timely manner, so can ask for the court date next Thursday. This is exactly the time frame that we have been shooting for: if we can have the appointment in the morning, then we have the party at the orphanage right after lunch and then jump in the car and drive 2 hours back to Donets’k. From there we fly to Mariupol, and on Friday we make a stop at the Embassy – maybe. We still have not figured out exactly how to do the second trip – whether we both come or just Susie comes on her own. If we both come, then I don’t need to go to the embassy. I think we’re leaning this way right now. But if just Susie comes back, then we have to fill out a form at the Embassy while I’m here on this trip. So currently, we plan to do that Friday if required, then catch our currently scheduled flights on Saturday with an overnight in London.

Anyway, we headed back to the orphanage, hung with Nastiya in the hallway for about 10-15 minutes while our interpreter read a letter to one of the other kids who had come to San Jose, then we headed home for a quiet dinner in the apartment.

To bed!

Sue – Friday, October 23

Day 8 – Mariupol – End of Papers (for Now)

Sue here… I think Jeff blogs beautifully! Just adding my own impressions here…

Meeting Nastiya’s brother was emotional for me. I liked him very, very much! I could see he was not only overwhelmed, but also very heartbroken. He regularly visits his sister in the orphanage. At 15 years old, he is almost “adult”. When children hit 16, they can work 35 hours a week (7 hours a day instead of the real “adult” 8 hours a day). In the states, they are still “children” until 18 (or graduate high school…), but here, they are working and supporting the sick or elderly adults at 16, with no stipend or other help from the government. It is a little unnerving for me, since Connor just turned 16 in July, and thinking of him working full-time to support me or Jeff, at home sick with TB or cancer. The brother’s dad has TB. A good percentage of the people have tested positive for TB, it is common here. He is living at a boarding school (right now) five days a week, and then living mostly with his aunt on the weekend (they call the 2-day weekend “holiday” – it’s a translation thing).

This brings to mind a story I wanted to share. The first day we saw Nastiya, Wednesday, one of the many questions I asked her was, “Do you still have the two albums we made for you”? “Nyet.” “Did you lose them?” “Nyet.” “Did the other kids grab them and ruin them?” “Nyet.”…. she became increasingly frustrated… the interpreter/translator was out of the room doing official business at the moment, so we were left with usual communication techniques… Russian/English book and hand gestures and limited words…. Then I thought (with her kind, caring nature….) “Did you GIVE it away?!?” “Da…” and she shook her head “yes”. Ahhhh!! I laughed… “Did you give it away to a boy or a girl?” Pause… “A boy!” “A boy you like?” “Da.”
Jeff and I laughed, thinking she gave her Disney album to some boy she liked. Pretty generous (and I couldn’t help thinking about the 3-4 hours I labored over it, picking all the right pictures out of the hundreds of pictures of our Disney trip to put into it!) I was a little disappointed. I thought she would NEVER let go of the Disneyland album! The hundred best pictures of our very busy two days in Disneyland and California Resort?!? Gone?!? Sigh…

Then on Wednesday, when the translator came back in, we asked her to translate – WHO did Nastiya give the albums to??!!?? And we found out WHO – her brother! She gave not just the Disney album, but the other, larger album, with the ENTIRE visit to America in it, to her brother, so he could have a connection to her and to the family where she will be living. He could see pictures of her house, her dog , her cat, her new Momma, her new Papa, her new “Brat” (brother), the park near the house with the fountain – all the memories I so lovingly labored to put into photo albums for HER to remember us, she selflessly gave to her brother, so he could remember. That’s love. Okay, it brought tears to my eyes, again. I love that girl!

The other story from the other day was how Nastiya called over the other caregivers whenever they went by to show them the photos on Jeff’s computer of her “Novi Brat”… her “new brother”… the translator explained how she’d been very excited about having Connor as her new brother! Apparently, while we were in California thinking about her, she was driving everyone crazy here talking about us to them!!

So, on Friday, we loved the time with her brother, exchanged addresses, gave him a phone, talked, and then went outside to take more pictures… he wanted a lot of pictures of her. We took pictures of all of us, and of her and her brother, and of her alone. He is too big to cry, but throughout the entire meeting, there were times I thought he was going to… and the obvious 500 hundred pound gorilla in the room was… he was here, working full time in the next few months to support his sick dad and his aunt, perhaps, when Nastiya will be with us, finishing high school, going to college, having opportunities he could never even dream of…
It was sad, but ultimately, his love for her, and recognizing the “better life” for her with us is the right choice. So he signed the agreement to let her go (earlier in the week). In Ukraine, the extended family must agree to let them be adopted, so other families will go through this process.

The other thing about our very limited meeting with Nastiya in the hallway later in the afternoon was this: I shared a chair with Nastiya, and we let her listen to the mini-ipod that Connor gave to her, and that Jeff had loaded all her Russian CDs onto.

Dark-haired V. came down to visit with the translator, who the children know from visits with families…

J. from mid-west will know who I’m talking about… So, V. was very, very excited to have the letter interpreted for him. (The other day, Wed, I think, when we briefly saw the other children, and gave them the gifts the families sent, we had not had time to speak with each one individually with the interpreter… Someone came in and hurried the children out… so we never got a chance to speak with each child individually…)

So here V. was, having the letter from his new family read to him by the interpreter. He was very excited, and really, really enjoyed having the letter interpreted!! Joy, excitement, and a very focused interest was placed on that letter! He was animated and also counseled Nastiya in NOT taking the ipod back to her dorm, saying to her – “it will get broken or stolen by other children… so let your Momma and Papa take it!” There was a very animated discussion between him and Nastiya about whether or not she should take the ipod back to her dorm. We wanted to keep it for her to have on the 30 hour-two days of travel to get home in November… so we were happy to have V. as an advocate on our side. Shows wisdom.

On Friday night, I made some smoked mackerel – boiled – and home fries and onions. YUM! I cannot find the salted mackerel in California, so when I saw it in the package at the store, I pounced on it! Yup. It did taste a lot like the salted mackerel and home fries we used to have for Sunday brunch at Aunt Helen’s house, when I was about six years old. Our interpreter was polite – Jeff ate leftovers….

And the saga continues…..