Jeff: Learning English

I "borrowed" this from the Garrett's blog - thanks Matt! (Thanks for the Offender and Offendee post as well - I was in tears after remembering some Edits from my own loving wife. Can I help it if my version didn't always jive with the real events as seen by Sue?)


http://garrettadoption.blogspot.com/2008/10/god-bless-america.html


Last night we had to have a Russian speaking IT specialist come set-up the Internet in our flat. It was during this time that we discovered that, indeed, our precious 15 year old "daughter" DOES speak and understand English much better than we thought. She became frustrated with my inability to communicate with this guy so she, unwittingly, chimed in with her own translating services; interpreting all to well. It occurred to her what was happening and she went bonkers, laughing, running around yelling(of course, all in Russian with a lot of, "...nyet, no English..." and I'm sure some other choice Russian words as well)-too late!! Exposed. What a "twerp"!!!! I now call her,"..little intwerperter...". 


I've been pretty amused by our little sweetie since she's been here.She goes to great lengths to make sure she doesn't understand English - until she forgets:-) This is actually fading fairly quickly - Anastasia had really come a LONG way in comprehension in two weeks, but it was one of the more interesting things I noticed as part of the adjustment. It seemed like controlling how much understanding was in evidence was one of the coping techniques - maintaining some control!


The language and communication aspect is actually going much smoother than I expected. Nastiya showed very little interest in learning English the first time she stayed with us. I was a bit worried that this would continue once we had her here permanently. It hasn't - she continues to learn new words quickly and she's willing to use more of the words daily. For the first week she was a bit shy about speaking English words. That seems to be fading quickly. I have also continued to listen to some Russian language tapes, and I try to use some of the stuff I'm learning - pick a word or two to interject. I think Nastiya appreciates this - she also seems to have fun correcting my pronunciation. She's given up on Sue - unless she wants to have a laugh. Sue has fun with it. Last night we learned that "e-shoe-a" is "more". (Pardon my spelling, but that's as close as I can come to what Nastiya actually said). Sue looked at Nastiya with a smile and said "new shoes?" OK - so I made that part up, but that's about the way it goes with those two - then Nastiya collapses in a fit of giggles. Very cool.

While we were at Connor's band competition last weekend, Nastiya asked me for the electronic translator. I changed it to Russian to English translation, and she typed in a word, which she then showed me - "utensil". I looked at her quizzically, and she started over. This time, when she showed it to me, it said "depillatory". I of course completely lost it. I could not figure out how those two words would fit in a conversation or a request that she could possibly have. Pretty soon we were both laughing so hard we couldn't talk. When Sue asked me what we were laughing at, it just made it worse!


 One of the traditions in our house is watching the Macy's parade. Sue explained some of this to Nastiya using a web translator yesterday morning. The subject came up again at dinner, and I pulled out the R/E dictionary to look up parade. When I showed that word to Nastiya, I have enough Russian to understand that she gave my the typical "dad, you're silly" look as she told me quite clearly (in Russian), "Yeah, I get it - we're going to watch the parade on TV in the morning!" My son looked at her, looked at me, and said "she's diabolical". I guess the thing that pleases me as much as her speed in learning English is the fact that she's willing to speak to us in Russian in the mean time. For the first several days, we got a lot of pointing and grunts. We made it clear that we would speak together - in one language or the other, and now she does.


I must say that overall, the process is going quite smoothly for us. It has been extremely helpful to read some of the blogs of those ahead of us in the process, as well as talking to others who have been through this for a longer period of time. Thank you all for your kind words and your wisdom and your sharing of experiences. This has certainly helped set my expectations and my understanding of where we are and what would work at this stage.


This is not to say that we don't have a world-class pouter on our hands. Not having had a girl to raise, it's very interesting to watch the behavior when the princess doesn't get her way. I was made to pay last night - Nastiya wanted to break one of the minor rules in our house. I held my ground, even though it was minor for both of us, it was something that I had to pay for. I received the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Not as bad as some others, but clearly Dad had mis-behaved.

They're home!

Jeff: On the same Continent!

"a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k..."

This was my greeting on the phone tonight from my daughter. They made it - Sue and Nastiya are on the same continent - finally! I could finally speak to Sue for some time - her cell phone works again:-) They are staying overnight near La Guardia, and I will pick them up around noon tomorrow. Dishes are done, floors are vacuumed, cat box is clean, pillows are fluffed on the couches...

So the best part of the conversation? Nastiya's first request after she recited the part of the alphabet that coincides with her progress in the sticker book was to speak to Connor. I love those kids!

Jeff: It's DONE!

I just got off the phone with Sue - we are done! She picked up the visa at 3PM Thursday afternoon (5 AM Pacific time!) and they are free to come home! Sue sounds relaxed for the first time this week! Sue said the Embassy was a snap - even without me there. One quick question about whether it would just be in Sue's name - quickly resolved.

Just a quick aside for other future travelers: Sue had purchased a pre-school alphabet book - with stickers - to take along as an activity. Her doubting husband had said that it was too young for Nastiya. He was wrong again. Nastiya is really enjoying the stickers - she won't put the book down. I also got a quick review of the alphabet from nastiya while I was on the phone with Sue. Lesson to Jeff: moms are much better at guessing what their kids will like. (Except for Connor and motorcycles. OK - she knew that, too - just didn't want to acknowledge it)

Flight time 2:15 Friday, home by 12:30 on Saturday!

Jeff: Phone calls from Kiev

(picture "borrowed" - not from Susie)

Things you don't want to hear from your wife when she is talking to you from an apartment in Kiev: "uh-oh - stay right there!" just before she drops the phone on the floor.

It's ok - she didn't burn the place to the ground after all - the pot she forgot about on the stove was fine.

Susie got her wish: after running around all day yesterday like maniacs to get the paperwork done in Donets'k, the flight from Donets'k didn't leave until 9:30. So they took the overnight train from Donets'k to Kiev. Obviously it's better to spend 12 hours on a train rather than wait three hours at an airport - well, at least if you're Susie, it is. I'll leave the details to Sue again, but of course she loved it. The interpreter - not so much. Sorry Sue - I'm not overly disappointed to have missed it. But I am happy that you got your wish! (apparently the attendant was very intrigued with Nastiya's story - they talked for some time. She's quite the charmer.

This morning was all things medical - Sue said it took over three hours to get that part taken care of - after arriving at 7:30 and having to wait until the place opened. Sue and Nastiya are back in the Kiev apartment this evening, enjoying a little peace and quiet after the very busy last 36 hours.

Sue did mention that they were able to fax the paperwork they needed to Kiev yesterday since the Embassy was closed today, so hopefully we're still on schedule. Sue will meet with the facilitator in a couple hours to discuss plans for tomorrow. Keep them in your prayers!

Jeff: T plus 10 hours

We got the girl!

Susie picked up Nastiya, her birth certificate, the court papers, and her passport. On her way to Kiev!

Thank you, God!

Jeff: T minus 10 hours

So here I am sitting comfortably in my home office in San Jose, while my sweetie is 6,417 miles away (oh yeah - "sweeties" - plural!). Just a quick update, and I hope Susie will be able to supply "woman on the scene" updates as she travels. I know it will be tougher for her - she is not carrying a laptop like I did on our first trip.

Anyway, Sue made it to Donets'k on schedule, after taking four segments and being in 5 countries (US, Canada, Germany, Austria, Ukraine) in under 24 hours. Very tired, very sick (Bring back memories, Tracy?), and very annoyed with the way the trip went. Some guy dumped a drink on her while she was sleeping on the plane - end of nap!

Our facilitator called me at about 7:30 this morning to let me know that Sue could not get the SIM chip working in her phone, so I can call the interpreter that is traveling with her. They hope to get her a new phone when she gets to Kiev - we'll see. I asked the facilitator about the rest of the week - he says it's all lined up and on schedule - we should be in good shape.

Brief conversation with Sue - she just relayed what I said above. I'm trying to decide if I should call her around midnight our time - she should be on her way back from Mariupol to Donets'k with our daughter by then:-)

Sue: Day 1 of Second Trip

Sue – Sun Morning 1:00 am November 8th, 2009

Day 1 of Second Trip

Well, I can finally say it: I’m all packed!!

Sorry I haven’t blogged this week, but I was totally wiped out with that nasty lung infection thing. I kept thinking “It hasn’t been over 12 days yet, I don’t need to see the Doctor…”, then when I needed to use an inhaler to breath, I called and made an appointment. Unfortunately, they couldn’t see me Friday, so I went in this morning, and started on a 14 day Avelox (sp??). She was going to only give me 10, and I requested the 14 day (which will wipe out even Pneumonia, if that is what hit me – no time for an x-ray!). It hit me in the chest heavy and hard, which makes you tired, and then sort of spread out to the sinuses, but not sinus pain (pain is all in the chest). She also wants me to use an asthma Albuterol inhaler. It’s for asthma. I take weekly shots for asthma, and I think the air in Mariupol (plus the swing from 70’s and sunny to rainy and 40’s) triggered my allergies, which in turn triggered asthma (which I don’t treat for unless I’m sick…), and then was irritated enough to let in a cold bug.

So Monday, Jeff and I were both wiped! He slowly started catching up with work: I did 5 loads of laundry, did NOT have to drive the carpool, and was grateful I could stay home most of the day. Between the lung infection and the jetlag, I simply have no energy.

Tuesday-Thursday was mostly getting the presents for the people: I did a really nice pen (Waterford) for the orphanage director, and Pierre Cardin pens for the Doctor, Social Worker, Secretary, and other caregivers (inexpensive at Costco in bulk…), and boxes of chocolates. I looked at various types of chocolate, and many are from Belgium, or other European country. I bought those Mauna Loa Chocolates with the nuts, from Hawaii. I thought you couldn’t get farther from Ukraine than Hawaii, so maybe it will be different for them. I also got a scarf and a couple picture frames (very fancy!), and a Russian-English and back again dictionary for the drive in Mariupol (she had told me she wanted one!), plus some vitamins and cold medicines they requested.

Friday was another laundry day – 3 loads – and I’m leaving Connor and Jeff with no dirty laundry for the week ahead. Jeff DOES have the carpool Mon/Wed/Fri, and he picks up Wed and Fri afternoons, plus Connor’s drum lesson, and takes my car to the shop on Mon for maintenance and some repairs (minor this time!).

My long-distance property turnover turned into a mess! The old tenant want’ out until 5 days after their official move out date, and then he piled a pile of garbage in front for the garbage men… they won’t take it like that unless you arrange special pickup, and so on and so forth… Luckily my real estate friend Kathy handled everything that went wrong, so the carpets were cleaned, the locksmith changed the locks, and she made it happen. Thank you, Kathy!

Today I packed a large black suitcase, and the medium brown suitcase (they will nest inside each other on the way home after all the presents are given out. I am trying to bring a carry on suitcase I bought special for “carry on”. It is only 17”x 8” x 13”, so I sure hope they let me carry it on! I will bring my “magic bag”. I got this bag that is a zippered “pouch”. When you start unzipping it, the bag pulls out from inside, and then it becomes a very large tote/zippered carry-all. IT”S GREAT!! I’ve used it in London to hold my umbrella and London Fog coat (I know – terribly dated!), used it to walk through markets in Cambodia, California, and Italy, because you keep throwing stuff in there, and it holds a lot! So, the plan is, if they stop my bag form going onto the international flight, I will pull out the adoption papers, plus the forms I’m bringing for others, plus my travel itinerary, plus my medicines, plus our clothes for the first day…

When you pick up your child form the orphanage, you supply the clothes (right down to the underwear, from what I hear), so I needed to pack the first day of clothes – including sneakers – for her, because if they lost my bags, I’d be out of luck…
I brought 3 days of clothes (in checked bags), and one day of clothes (for Anastasia and for me) in carry on. It made for a bulky bag, due to the big winter coat, hats and gloves, etc. But nothing is going to stop me, and we are on a tight schedule!

Why a tight schedule? Because next Wed is Veteran’s day! And the US Embassy is closed, so it throws us off for a day – I cannot get the great points deal on Sat like I got on Fri, so we are trying to head out on Friday regardless. We have Fri morning – the one British Airways flight to London on the way home is at 2:15. I stay overnight in JFK (New York City) – hopefully my brother will come visit and meet Anastasia briefly, but it is along ride.

As you all may have heard, when we were leaving Kiev last Saturday, October 31st, 2009, many people were wearing the surgical masks both at British Airways and on the plane. I asked, and it turns out there was a swine flu outbreak a few days before. Currently, the country is in quarantine; schools are closed for a week, and some neighboring countries are taking action. But when I got so sick, I never had a fever, only chest pain, so the Doctor today didn’t think it was swine flu. Had a flu shot in Sept for regular flu. This week, around 200 people in Ukraine died, hence the scare. A lot of people cannot afford healthcare, so they do not go on antibiotics for Tuberculosis, they just die from it – many have it; many of the kids test positive for it. You need to do a 6 month antibiotic course if you want to get the “non active TB” out of their body, because it can become active into TB. If active you have to take 4 (yes, four!) different antibiotics for 6-9 months. My antibiotic today cost $90. co-pay, for 14 days. So four antibiotics for 6-9 months would not be affordable for the average Ukrainian. We think Anastasia’ mother may have died from it, since she was only about 30 years old. Very sad, when you have so many people dying from a treatable disease.

The news stated that the swine flu outbreak is in full swing, and unfortunately schools are closed, and the SDA put a hold on adoption referrals – they don’t want people coming into the orphanages and contaminating the kids – they live in such close quarters, that a flu would simply spread like wildfire.

So my prayers go out to all the families whose plans were put on hold – I was told by the coordinator that I would be able to get Anastasia, since as of Tuesday, she is mine and no longer a responsibility of the Ukrainian system. We’ll see.

Here’s a tidbit for you – I will be in 5 countries tomorrow, during 4 flights, 4 different airlines and 24 hours of travel. I leave SFO (USA) on United, to Calgary (Canada), then switch to Luftansa for 9+ hours to Frankfort (Germany), then switch to Austrian Air to Vienna (Austria), then switch to Tyrolean Air to Donets’k (Ukraine). (You getting’ this, camera-man??)

I have already succumbed to the fact that I will never again see the items I so lovingly packed tonight. But I packed in anyway, with the hope that I WILL be able to hand out all my gifts! We bought another UNO for the orphanage, and I’m taking an old one to play while there, plus a new puzzle, and Dominos cards (lightweight). I’m also taking a pre-school workbook; I’m going to try and get her used to the English alphabet, and some words… below her academically, but not on the English learners’ scale.

Well, it’s almost 2:00 am, so I better get some sleep. I’m using almost all of Jeff’s United points to fly business (the economy mostly wasn’t available for the days we needed, and lousy times…), so I may be able to sleep on the Calgary-Frankfort piece… I don’t usually do “business” class, but since I am sooo sick, Jeff thought it better I catch some zzzzz’s rather than save points. I’m going to catch some zzzzz’s right now – I’ll blog at internet café when I can – in the meantime, simply PRAY for me – for healing, for safety (me and Anastasia), health, and a smooth journey. Pray to keep the evil forces from interfering with our plans. Pray that the swine flu blows over and that others can continue their journey.

By the way – today, while I am flying to Ukraine to get my daughter, many churches around the world are celebrating “Orphan Sunday” in their worship. Log into
www.orphansunday.org
Today is a worldwide orphan day, to bring to light the plight of the 143,000,000 (yes, 143 MILLION orphans worldwide).

I challenge each of you to find some way, big or small, to get involved. At least go to the website – there is a lot of information there!

Thank you all who have helped us, and prayed for us. It makes a huge difference, and we appreciate each and every one of you – angels in disguise! Blessings to you all!

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

Jeff -T- 2 days, 11 hours, 22 minutes...

T- 2 days, 11 hours, 22 minutes...

I feel the need to share a quick update as we head into the final phase of the adoption process in Ukraine. Poor Susie is sleeping in this morning - she is still suffering from the cold that she caught in Ukraine. She is going to the doctor this morning. She was wheezing last night - here's hoping it broke during the night, or that the doctor can get her started on something to make the trip easier.
We've been home for 5 full days, with one more date to go until Sue heads back to get Nastiya. I've been trying to get caught up with work while getting over my jetlag. Not sure I've been as successful as I wish. Part of the reason is the time change of course: I'm falling asleep at 8:30 at night, but I'm wide awake at 4 AM.

Sue on the other hand has been on fire with her preparations! In 5 short days, she has caught up on the laundry from 2 full weeks, and she has booked flights, bought gifts for the orphanage staff and our Ukrainian team, packed her gifts as well as the last-minute care packages from the other parents, and done all the other million things that she makes look so easy that I will be frantically trying to figure out next week while she is gone! I don't know - I think I'll keep my day job - Susie's job is tough!

Sue also did a little preparation for Nastiya's arrival and entry into the school system. This also caught me off guard. We walked over to the school, and Sue went in to get the documents we need to sign her up (I waited outside with Falkor). We've got our fingers crossed - the next teach who is "up" for a new student is a teacher who was one of Connor's absolute favorites at the grade school. How cool would that be! But the amazing part was the packet of documents that they handed to Sue to fill out. I kid you not - suddenly the adoption dossier looks easy! Holy smokes - the stuff they want to know just to put the child in a class!

One other thing that has been very time-consuming this week: we had a friend and her kids who came in to look after our cat, Percy, while we were gone. They did a great job, but apparently an hour or so every other day just doesn't satisfy the minimum daily requirements of massage for Percy. He has been extremely "interactive". this week. He's either meowing, clawing at your leg, or getting under foot to make you stop and massage him, scratch his chin, stand next to him while he eats...he has this very funny purr in the mornings - I call it his WD-40 purr. Sounds like a regular purr with the occasional squeaky door sound effect thrown in. My favorite is when he's super happy and we get the purr combined with the under-the-breath vocalizations - he sounds like a tribble!

Connor's Halloween event was a HUGE success. We heard from the neighbors about the lines of people. Someone estimated 300 people came through. Two of our neighbors said they did not go through the Huanted Garage because the lines were too long! Thanks to all who participated in making this a success as well. Hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures from someone who attended!

The level of encouragement that we have received this week has also been very heart-warming. Thank you all for your kind thoughts, prayers, emails, phone calls, etc. It's been very nice talking to the other families that will be following in our footsteps. I've also been reading blogs from trips past. I found a couple blogs with photos from the same orphanage, one of them from two years ago. The director looked the same then as she does now - just dressed down a little for summertime:-) But the people who have gone before or are currently in the process: you guys are an amazing group of people! I really appreciate the support, encouragement, and camaraderie of you guys!

I added a few links - check the bottom of the page if you are interested. One is for Orphan Sunday. As Sue was looking through this site earlier in the week, she ran across a little heart-tug slide-show. One of the facts presented is that there are 143 MILLION orphans in this world. I pointed out that as of last Friday, there are only 142,999,999...I can't get over the joy of this. I'm just so looking forward to having our family in one place!

But the paperwork is done, this trip is just to pick up the girl, right? What could go wrong, right? Oh, boy!

How about a swine flu epidemic sweeping Kiev? David sent out some links to news stories a few days ago - schools have been shut down, and SDA is not giving out authorization to visit orphanages right now. Imagine showing up for your first appointment and being told taht you cannot go visit the orphanage until further notice! What does this mean to us? Hopefully, the answer is nothing, since Nastiya is our legel responsibility as of next Tuesday morning! I told Sue that even if they won't let her in to the orphanage, tell them to send her out and she can change clothes in the van! (You heard the part about the kids not bringing any of their clothes with them, right?) Sue is of course carrying gifts for some the the staff at the orphanage, and some of the other kids that have been here. Guess she'll have to pile them at the door, and someone can come out and get them once Sue and Nastiya have left. Sheesh - a freaking pandemic in the middle of our adoption, and of course many other adoptions, David's program, etc. Let's pray that this blows over quickly and allows us all to get our children!

Oh - did I mention that it's Veteran's Day next Wednesday? And the embassy in Kiev is closed? Our facilitator thinks that we can rush some papers to him on Tuesday afternoon once Sue has it, and get the process started at the embassy on Tuesday, and with a little luck (maybe some prayer work), the visa should still be ready on Thursday, or at least Friday morning. Sue and nastiya head for the airport around 11:30 - it should all work out.

And poor Susie: let's hope the doctor gives her something to help!

So tomorrow I drop her at SFO, and she catches an 8:30 flight to Calgary, then to Frankfurt, then to Vienna, then to Donets'k, arriving Monday afternoon. Five countries and 4 airlines in two days - the joy of saving money and using points! The good news is that she got business class - for about the same points as coach! Well, by checking back, she did find an alternative that was less points, but in her current condition, I told her to burn the points and get some sleep on these flights! That girl needs her rest!

Jeff - Day 17 – Return to California

Jeff – Sunday, November 01, 2009

Day 17 – Return to California

Yeah – we skipped day 16. You don’t really care about the details for our return trip through London. We had dinner with friends in Surrey, and they put us up for the night. Thanks, you guys!

I’m starting this update while on our final segment on the way home – Boston to SFO, where a friend will pick us up. I am absolutely exhausted again – we woke up at 11 PM PST in London, and we get home around 11 PM – almost exactly 24 hours of travel with car time to and from the airports.

Now we get to the next phase – preparation for the return trip to bring our daughter home! The plan is to fly into Donets’k on Monday night. Tuesday morning starts with a sunrise drive (two hours) to Mariupol, where we get Nastiya, the new birth certificate, and the court resolution. Then another car ride straight back to Donets’k (the capitol of the “oblast”) to get a new passport. If all goes well with that process, then Tuesday ends with a flight to Kiev. Wednesday and Thursday are spent with the US Embassy to get a visa to bring Nastiya to the US. Leave a little buffer and head home on Friday afternoon.

Sue and I had made the decision early on that she would go back alone to get Nastiya. Our son did a masterful job of jumping from one family to another while we were away – he stayed with three different families. But it was tough on him. So one of us goes and one of us stays. Sue would really love to push this task off on me – imagine getting right back on a plane less than seven full days from now to again spend 30+ hours traveling, spend 3 days and then do it all over again. This time with a 10 year old girl who will be speaking VERY limited English. I’ve done the world travel enough that I have the experience with the endurance required for this, but we really both know that Nastiya will far prefer coming home with Momma – she could find the idea of four days of travel with Papa to be fairly daunting experience. So Sue goes back.

This does add a wrinkle however. There are two places where both parents are required. The first is in Mariupol for the receipt of either the birth certificate or the court records – I wasn’t clear on exactly which. The other is the Embassy – they need two documents signed by both parents. Fortunately, both of these will take a power of attorney instead of a physical appearance by both parents. But of course the power of attorney for the court in Mariupol needs to be both notarized and apostilled. This means I need to create all three of those documents, get them notarized, and get the one apostilled – all this week before Sue goes back. The good news is I know how to do this now! Not a big deal after the previous paper chase, but one more hurdle.

We’re dying to get that little girl home where she belongs!

Probably not much to say this week – and as Susie will be going back herself, check back on trip 2 next week! She leaves again on Sundy (hint hint to anyone who has stuff to send to kids over there!)

Notes to those who are traveling (the rest of you can ignore this section):
1) The phone that was loaned to us started just powering off sporadically, so our interpreter loaned us her spare razor. After the fact, we had a good laugh – Sue has a razor. We could have just swapped sim cards in her phone.
2) REMEMBER: 0001 to call the US – with three zeros an 18 minute call cost me about 70 grivna (9 bucks). The normal international method cost me about 470 grivna – almost 60 bucks – for about 15 minutes.
3) I blogged about the internet card – Sasha will have it when we’re done next week. If you take a laptop, you can use that card. If someone is going in November, there’s still a fair amount of bandwith on the card. If later, then the card can be recharged the same way the phone is – our interpreter helped me acquire the card and knows how to charge it. I recommend the 250 grivna plan – about $30 for 10 GB of bandwidth. Then keep an eye on the meter that starts on the connection utility. I was fairly careful about browsing and so forth – we only used about 500MB in a week, so you may be able to chose a cheaper plan. If you’re gonna use skye – get the 10GB plan!
4) Oh yeah – about our decision to fly. I still do not regret the choice to fly instead of taking the train. But in the spirit of full disclosure: when our court date pushed back a day and we needed to change the tickets, we had to pay a bit more. There was a scary moment where they said it was going to cost us an extra $100 per person, but they finally figured it out for about another $50 each - $150 total. So be ready for that if you do choose the flight option.