Wednesday, October 30, 2013
No Problem
Surprising to realize that it has been almost a year since I have posted to this blog. What a year of surprises this has been. When Sue was pregnant with our son 17 years ago, our neighbor congratulated me and then told me my child would be my greatest joy and my greatest aggravation. Turns our he was right - no matter how the child comes to your family!
Anastasia has continued to integrate into our family and into American life. What do you think - does she look like a baseball player or what? It was very interesting watching her figure out how the game works. It's funny - this is definitely a mother-daughter affair. I do not play baseball, but Sue does. Like mother, like daughter!
Anyone who has traveled this path ahead of us knows some of the challenges that we have faced through the last year. It has been almost exactly 13 months since Anastasia came home permanently. Hence the title of this blog.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Happy dozeday
Which is as close as we got to "happy birthday". Our little "princess" has now been here exactly two months and celebrated her first birthday (her 11th) here in America last Friday. But let me back up a little...
The last two months have included a lot of firsts for Anastasia - new holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas and new years American style, and her birthday. It has also included starting school, of course. We got Anastasia into the school starting Thanksgiving week. This was a nice introduction since it was a short week. Not sure if I should be naming names, so I'll follow the same rules I did in Ukraine - without permission, I won't do it. But let me tell you - the teacher has been fantastic! Anastasia is in a normal class, but gets pulled out a couple times a week for ESL. We were also told that she would have access to Rosetta Stone in the classroom. I'm not clear whether this has really happened or not, but there are definitely some computer programs that she uses to learn English. Between the immersion and the classroom instruction, there is not much that gets past her at this point. She can also almost always get her point across. This continues to be more true with her mother. Nsatiya and I still have our moments where we're two ships passing - she and Sue seem to have a psychic link. It's that girl thing.
One of the funnier moments of the acclimation process occurred one morning at breakfast. We were discussing an upcoming ski trip. We described going to the mountains and getting to the snow. During the discussion, Anastasia effectively asked, “when will it snow here?” Since we live in San Jose Reno
We do still get the pouting from time to time. There are times when corrections are not appreciated. But these are fewer and father in between as Nastiya gets used to the house rules and the cultural differences.
So finally we arrive at the party last Friday. Practically since Anastasia has been going to school, she has been telling us that her best friend at school has the same birthday. It's been amazing - the teacher assigned this girl to help Nastiya, and we thought she was doing all the things she was doing because she had been assigned the task. But Nastiya talked about a party from the day she learned that they had the same birthday, and in the process we found out that her friend was indeed a friend. It's been amazing seeing how fast Nastiya makes friends.
Sue was terrified as she was arranging the party. Girl party??? But we’ve had a BOY for 16 years! Fortunately we have a neighbor with two girls bracketing Nastiya’s age. Thank God for good neighbors! All the sudden I see pink stuff – lots of pink stuff – coming into my house. Napkins, frosting, you name it.
The party was a hit. Anastasia loves the princess theme, as did her guests. I think one of the best parts was her brother. Connor agreed to dress in his white shirt, red bow tie and black vest to act as “The Princess’s Personal Butler”. For part of the party, Sue gave Nastiya a bell. When she rang the bell, Connor came running and said “Yes, Princess Anastasia – what may I get for you?” This was a complete hit at the table. Of course, all good things must come to an end – Connor stole the bell, went into his room and locked the door.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Jeff: Learning English
I "borrowed" this from the Garrett's blog - thanks Matt! (Thanks for the Offender and Offendee post as well - I was in tears after remembering some Edits from my own loving wife. Can I help it if my version didn't always jive with the real events as seen by Sue?)
http://garrettadoption.blogspot.com/2008/10/god-bless-america.html
Last night we had to have a Russian speaking IT specialist come set-up the Internet in our flat. It was during this time that we discovered that, indeed, our precious 15 year old "daughter" DOES speak and understand English much better than we thought. She became frustrated with my inability to communicate with this guy so she, unwittingly, chimed in with her own translating services; interpreting all to well. It occurred to her what was happening and she went bonkers, laughing, running around yelling(of course, all in Russian with a lot of, "...nyet, no English..." and I'm sure some other choice Russian words as well)-too late!! Exposed. What a "twerp"!!!! I now call her,"..little intwerperter...".
I've been pretty amused by our little sweetie since she's been here.She goes to great lengths to make sure she doesn't understand English - until she forgets:-) This is actually fading fairly quickly - Anastasia had really come a LONG way in comprehension in two weeks, but it was one of the more interesting things I noticed as part of the adjustment. It seemed like controlling how much understanding was in evidence was one of the coping techniques - maintaining some control!
The language and communication aspect is actually going much smoother than I expected. Nastiya showed very little interest in learning English the first time she stayed with us. I was a bit worried that this would continue once we had her here permanently. It hasn't - she continues to learn new words quickly and she's willing to use more of the words daily. For the first week she was a bit shy about speaking English words. That seems to be fading quickly. I have also continued to listen to some Russian language tapes, and I try to use some of the stuff I'm learning - pick a word or two to interject. I think Nastiya appreciates this - she also seems to have fun correcting my pronunciation. She's given up on Sue - unless she wants to have a laugh. Sue has fun with it. Last night we learned that "e-shoe-a" is "more". (Pardon my spelling, but that's as close as I can come to what Nastiya actually said). Sue looked at Nastiya with a smile and said "new shoes?" OK - so I made that part up, but that's about the way it goes with those two - then Nastiya collapses in a fit of giggles. Very cool.
While we were at Connor's band competition last weekend, Nastiya asked me for the electronic translator. I changed it to Russian to English translation, and she typed in a word, which she then showed me - "utensil". I looked at her quizzically, and she started over. This time, when she showed it to me, it said "depillatory". I of course completely lost it. I could not figure out how those two words would fit in a conversation or a request that she could possibly have. Pretty soon we were both laughing so hard we couldn't talk. When Sue asked me what we were laughing at, it just made it worse!
One of the traditions in our house is watching the Macy's parade. Sue explained some of this to Nastiya using a web translator yesterday morning. The subject came up again at dinner, and I pulled out the R/E dictionary to look up parade. When I showed that word to Nastiya, I have enough Russian to understand that she gave my the typical "dad, you're silly" look as she told me quite clearly (in Russian), "Yeah, I get it - we're going to watch the parade on TV in the morning!" My son looked at her, looked at me, and said "she's diabolical". I guess the thing that pleases me as much as her speed in learning English is the fact that she's willing to speak to us in Russian in the mean time. For the first several days, we got a lot of pointing and grunts. We made it clear that we would speak together - in one language or the other, and now she does.
I must say that overall, the process is going quite smoothly for us. It has been extremely helpful to read some of the blogs of those ahead of us in the process, as well as talking to others who have been through this for a longer period of time. Thank you all for your kind words and your wisdom and your sharing of experiences. This has certainly helped set my expectations and my understanding of where we are and what would work at this stage.
This is not to say that we don't have a world-class pouter on our hands. Not having had a girl to raise, it's very interesting to watch the behavior when the princess doesn't get her way. I was made to pay last night - Nastiya wanted to break one of the minor rules in our house. I held my ground, even though it was minor for both of us, it was something that I had to pay for. I received the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Not as bad as some others, but clearly Dad had mis-behaved.
http://garrettadoption.blogspot.com/2008/10/god-bless-america.html
Last night we had to have a Russian speaking IT specialist come set-up the Internet in our flat. It was during this time that we discovered that, indeed, our precious 15 year old "daughter" DOES speak and understand English much better than we thought. She became frustrated with my inability to communicate with this guy so she, unwittingly, chimed in with her own translating services; interpreting all to well. It occurred to her what was happening and she went bonkers, laughing, running around yelling(of course, all in Russian with a lot of, "...nyet, no English..." and I'm sure some other choice Russian words as well)-too late!! Exposed. What a "twerp"!!!! I now call her,"..little intwerperter...".
I've been pretty amused by our little sweetie since she's been here.She goes to great lengths to make sure she doesn't understand English - until she forgets:-) This is actually fading fairly quickly - Anastasia had really come a LONG way in comprehension in two weeks, but it was one of the more interesting things I noticed as part of the adjustment. It seemed like controlling how much understanding was in evidence was one of the coping techniques - maintaining some control!
The language and communication aspect is actually going much smoother than I expected. Nastiya showed very little interest in learning English the first time she stayed with us. I was a bit worried that this would continue once we had her here permanently. It hasn't - she continues to learn new words quickly and she's willing to use more of the words daily. For the first week she was a bit shy about speaking English words. That seems to be fading quickly. I have also continued to listen to some Russian language tapes, and I try to use some of the stuff I'm learning - pick a word or two to interject. I think Nastiya appreciates this - she also seems to have fun correcting my pronunciation. She's given up on Sue - unless she wants to have a laugh. Sue has fun with it. Last night we learned that "e-shoe-a" is "more". (Pardon my spelling, but that's as close as I can come to what Nastiya actually said). Sue looked at Nastiya with a smile and said "new shoes?" OK - so I made that part up, but that's about the way it goes with those two - then Nastiya collapses in a fit of giggles. Very cool.
One of the traditions in our house is watching the Macy's parade. Sue explained some of this to Nastiya using a web translator yesterday morning. The subject came up again at dinner, and I pulled out the R/E dictionary to look up parade. When I showed that word to Nastiya, I have enough Russian to understand that she gave my the typical "dad, you're silly" look as she told me quite clearly (in Russian), "Yeah, I get it - we're going to watch the parade on TV in the morning!" My son looked at her, looked at me, and said "she's diabolical". I guess the thing that pleases me as much as her speed in learning English is the fact that she's willing to speak to us in Russian in the mean time. For the first several days, we got a lot of pointing and grunts. We made it clear that we would speak together - in one language or the other, and now she does.
I must say that overall, the process is going quite smoothly for us. It has been extremely helpful to read some of the blogs of those ahead of us in the process, as well as talking to others who have been through this for a longer period of time. Thank you all for your kind words and your wisdom and your sharing of experiences. This has certainly helped set my expectations and my understanding of where we are and what would work at this stage.
This is not to say that we don't have a world-class pouter on our hands. Not having had a girl to raise, it's very interesting to watch the behavior when the princess doesn't get her way. I was made to pay last night - Nastiya wanted to break one of the minor rules in our house. I held my ground, even though it was minor for both of us, it was something that I had to pay for. I received the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Not as bad as some others, but clearly Dad had mis-behaved.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Jeff: On the same Continent!
"a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k..."
This was my greeting on the phone tonight from my daughter. They made it - Sue and Nastiya are on the same continent - finally! I could finally speak to Sue for some time - her cell phone works again:-) They are staying overnight near La Guardia, and I will pick them up around noon tomorrow. Dishes are done, floors are vacuumed, cat box is clean, pillows are fluffed on the couches...
So the best part of the conversation? Nastiya's first request after she recited the part of the alphabet that coincides with her progress in the sticker book was to speak to Connor. I love those kids!
This was my greeting on the phone tonight from my daughter. They made it - Sue and Nastiya are on the same continent - finally! I could finally speak to Sue for some time - her cell phone works again:-) They are staying overnight near La Guardia, and I will pick them up around noon tomorrow. Dishes are done, floors are vacuumed, cat box is clean, pillows are fluffed on the couches...
So the best part of the conversation? Nastiya's first request after she recited the part of the alphabet that coincides with her progress in the sticker book was to speak to Connor. I love those kids!
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